Possibly Adopting Nephew?

Question

Almost 2 months ago I posted asking people to pray for my nephew who had just been born and was having problems. Yesterday he had surgery and is now able to eat on his own and is doing fine. This morning my husband mentioned to me that the mother won't be getting custody of ean and he doesn't think the father will either b/c he failed a drug test. We had a discussion about the possibility of adopting him since he is now in good health and we can take care of him. We want to keep him in our family and we are they only people who aren't on drugs or drunk all the time. We also want another child but I don't want to be pregnant again b/c I absolutely hated it.


The only problem is that he is only 9 months older than our daughter and I don't know if I can handle two children so close in age.


I really need some help with this.

keep in mind we are talking about a 22 yr old who already has 2 children she doesn't take care of. She's always been on drugs since i've known her.

Answer 1

There are definite benefits to having children so close together in age. While it may be very difficult to keep up with them during the infant and toddler years, as they mature, it will be easier than having two of much different ages. And those years last far, far longer than the early years, and parents just keep on getting older then, too. :-)

They will keep each other company, and will pass through developmental stages at approximately the same time. They are likely to attend the same preschools, birthday parties, proms and other important events and places in the lives of kids, making logistics unbelievably less complicated for mom and dad.

Talk to others, or read about, parenting twins to learn what other parents find difficult or wonderful about having kids so close together. I'll bet that the joys far outweigh the difficulties.

I hope, for the sake of the baby, that you choose to do this, and I wish you the best of luck and happiness either way.

Answer 2

Do it, you will find a way to make it work and you will not regret it. However if you dont do it and this child has something happen to him or becomes one such as his parents then you would regret that. My parents (actually my aunt and uncle) adopted my brother and I, I also had an older brother whom they did not adopt, he was four and cried to stay with my grandparents. My brother and I had a good moral upbringing and got to go to college and basically have hope of a successful future, my other brother was babied and never taught how to behave responsibly. He was allowed to hang out with our biological parents who did drugs, fought and partied. He now has 6 children, by 5 different girls, has been in jail multiple times for drugs, cannot hold a job, and generally has very little hope for any success in life. This is not my parents fault, but they feel guilty that they had the opportunity to change his life as well and , due to a little whining, they did not take it.

Answer 3

If you really love this child, you will handle it fine! I'd rather see this child placed in a loving caring home with someone who is actually family than put with strangers--but only you and your husband can decided if you are really willing to take on this responsibility. I say go for it--but I'm not you. I will tell you that dealing with 2 infants is hard--but it's also a blast!
Good luck with what ever you decide to do!

Answer 4

This sort fo decision needs to be thought out.
Obviously, the child should not be with his biological mother and father, atleast not until they are clean I would say for about a year or two years.
Anyway, how do you feel about this child? Is it a financial issue?
About your daughter, she'll be okay. My kids are close in age and it's hard but it's beautiful and it's life.
If you come to conclusion you can't do it, YOU find another safe, loving, peaceful, home for this child. Don't let anyone else do it.
I am glad the baby is well. All he needs now is love.

Answer 5

its good that you want ot keep him in the family! i congrats u on that, but trust me you may think its hard but just remember this my mother was 25 with 5 children and single. she had no one helping her she had to do everything and she said she had her ups and downs but she said it was worth it! unlike her you have a husband.. so dont look at it like its going to be hard cause if you look at the situation like that then it will be! think positive and everything will come out fine.. yea every once in a while it might get rough but it wont be like that all the time. :)

Answer 6

I think it would be the best thing to do and the children with be happy cause they got some body to play with and they wont be to bad to handle i know i do it all the time they will love to have some body to play with all the time so go ahead and adopted him you will be glad you did

Answer 7

My hat is off to you, what a wonderful thing you would be doing, get your self a good child advocate lawyer and go for it. I'm glad to hear is recovering nicely. You'll do just great with two you have lots of love in your heart.

Answer 8

is this youngster on drugs or have they sought some form of counseling? perchance they'd desire to objective putting him in a extra based college for toddlers with developmental or emotional issues. This youngster in all hazard went with the aid of alot previously he became accompanied this could be the only way he's conscious. in the event that they do no longer do something now it appears that evidently like this youngster could be heading in the direction of growing to be a prevalent customer of the judicial gadget.

Answer 9

Well Hello,
I think it would be a great idea, to adopt your nephew especially if you want to have another one. It would be nice for him also, to have parents or family that really loves him. I think it would be a good idea, instead of having other ppl adopting him. I dont think it would be too bad.

Answer 10

it sounds like you have a wonderful heart and your heart and kindness will help you deal with two babies at the same time good luck i think you are doing the right thing