what's your funniest blonde joke?

Answer 1

Once there was a blonde who went to the doctor. When the doctor asked what was wrong she said "I have horrible pains all over my body. Every time i touch something it hurts." The doctor asked her to touch various parts of her body with her finger and she screamed every time. After examining her, the doctor went on to say "I've figured out what's wrong with you" She asked "what is it?" The doctor replied "Your finger is broken."

Answer 2

The Blonde
and the Coke Machine
There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mello Yello. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.

"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

Answer 3

CLEVELAND Blonde

A blonde was feeling so depressed that she decided to
end her life by throwing herself into Lake Erie.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into
the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her
teetering on the edge of the pier, crying.

He took pity on her and said, "Listen, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you, and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her
shoulder and added with a wink, "and I'll make you happy,
and you can make ME happy."
The girl nodded yes through her tears. After all, what did she have to lose?

That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat, along with blankets and food. From then on, every night he brought her sandwiches,
water, wine and fruit and they would make mad, passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the Captain. "What the hell are you doing here?" the Captain demanded angrily.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get free food and a trip to Europe. Meanwhile, (she says smiling coyly) he's been taking advantage of me." (wink)
"He sure as hell is, lady," the Captain said.
"This is the Put-In-Bay ferry!"

Answer 4

Why do you want to hear Jokes about yourself. I'm not exactly sure, but it seems that you are a blonde. I think that's the joke right there. The blonde wants to hear jokes about herself so she can laugh at herself?

Answer 5

One day a blonde went into a hifi store and said to the sales man:
"Can i buy this TV", to which he replied that they didnt sell to blondes.
The next day she went back to the shop with a sarong wrapped tightly around her head to cover her hair and again asked to buy the tv to which she received the same answer that they did not sell to blondes.

She was exasperated, she went home waited for a few days then dyed her hair black then wore big glasses and a big hat with a matching outfit.
She went back to the shop, then said with an accent, "can i please buy that tv", and to her shock the sales men firmly said NO we do not sell to blondes.
She was a t a loss of words but finally managed to ask how they knew she was blonde, to which the salesman replied'
"Because thats a microwave", came the reply.

Answer 6

Ok here is the joke.......

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded the blonde "stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!". He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"

Answer 7

My wife asking if anyone knew a blonde joke and there was a blonde at the table who took offense. That was hilarious!!!

Answer 8

The Puzzle

A blonde calls her boyfriend one night, and pleads, "Honey, I'm trying to put this puzzle together, but it's just not making any sence to me, can you PLEASE come help me out??" The boyfriend agrees and drives to his girlfriend's house. Once there he asks, "Ok, where is this puzzle?" "Over here, it's supposed to be a tiger, but I just can't seem to figure it out!" The boyfriend looks at the table with peices scattered all over it, and then sees the box lying on the floor, very calmly, and trying hard not to laugh, he says, "Baby, why don't you go make us both a nice cup of tea, and when you get back, we'll put all of the frosted flakes back in the box?"

Answer 9

Q: How do you tell if a bleach blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

Answer 10

This question is always asked at least once a week,
but i always answer it with the same joke...

Anyways, here it goes:

A blond reads a newspaper headline stating:
"12 Brazillian men die in a stampede."
The blond asks,
"How many zeros are in a Brazillian?"

(pah - rump - tumpt ----- ting)