what to do when a family member always put you down.. But calls you and only you, when they get into a big mes

Question

? I'm talking a BIG, bunches of mess.

If i don't answer, they come and pund on my door. Ive gone broke more than once helping this family member.. they turn away from me when then have money. I'll not see them till they need help again.

Answer 1

Talk to them straight. Say, "stop insulting me or I am not going to help you. You are acting like a fool (or child) and need to grow up. How can you possibly think to insult me when you keep getting yourself into these rediculous situations? Does your brain function?" If you can say something like that, then they will either never ask for help again, or think twice about insulting you. Yes, I have said these kinds of things to people. Sometimes you have to really stomp on people's toes to get them to hear you.

Answer 2

first off there is something special about u because if someone always puts u down they see something in u that is bound for greatness so they try to keep ur self esteem at an all time low. Now instead of dishing out money to this person help them get a job and show them how to do things the right way because just as u can get it they can get it. and the only reason thy come and go like that is because u havent learned how to say no

Answer 3

If they only want your company when they are in trouble and need money, then fix the problem by requiring a loan agreement from them every time they need money. and a repayment schedule. After a while they will get the message or you will have to sue them for lack of payment through the courts... That would defiantly get their attention to be served a summons for lack of payment or for repossession of an item used as collateral...

Answer 4

Time to put the brakes on that. Let them know they get themselves in these messes and they can get themselves out of them. They didn't need your help when they got themselves into these messes. And don't come knocking on your door or call you up, you are not their Help Center. Be firm and say "no" repeatedly.

Answer 5

hmm...u r going through a tough time....the first thing that matters is are u financially independent?
if yes then i think u shud make ur family realise that u too are a "good part" of the "family" and not just a "troubleshooter".
ok now they rely on u and only u when they are in trouble then forget u...so nxt time on don't go to rescue them from the mess!
let them realise ur importance...don't let them take u for granted!
talk to them and be open about how u feel...

and i think u shud also think about ur future..u have to secure ur future so start thinking bout urself.....from all this it seems like ur family doesn't care about u so start saving for urself...and be secured!

Keep Smiling
__Le Gra__
......Sne.....

Answer 6

Look the best thing to do is to put u're foot down and let this person know that u can't help them anymore (even if u can) b/c they are putting u down it sound like to me that it is hurting u.
ALL THEY ARE DOING IS USING U FOR HELP OR AN EXCUSE TO GET THEM OUT OF TROUBLE!!!!

if u talk more u can reach me at [e-mail] my name is darius

Answer 7

move, and change your number. They are using you, and you are letting them. There has to be a way for you to just get away from them. They should leave you alone. Dont give them money at all. No matter what their excuses are on why they need it.

Answer 8

Return the favour. Sometimes having the shoe on the other foot is a real eye opener.

Answer 9

I can't picture anyone in a situation like you describe where they tell the annoying family member how they feel. Just explain to them that they're driving you nuts, that they're retarded and to f off.

Answer 10

Let the person know what you feel and if that doesn't work give him or her the deaf eye the next time they come calling and asking for help.