women please help?

Question

my lady friend quit her job and moved in 6 months ago. now she does not want a committment. she does not work. i pay all bills and give money to spend. i gave access to cars. and take care of them as well. i am a good man. i don't cheat. no women call the house. i am not bad in bed. i feed and provide for her. she is attractive but she says she is scared of me because i am not violent or demanding. we are only 4 years apart in age. she comes from from at least 3 violent relationships. she uses the excuse that she fears i will one day get violent. we barely argue. i am not violent. she says i am the best friend she ever had. what am i doing wrong?

Answer 1

You are doing nothing wrong. A lot of women have been programmed to look for a 'hard' man. A man who embodies mascunility and hence they reject anything kind and warm ( which they like to call a soft man). However when they get older they realize they dont want 'hard' man ( cos he wont stop being a knucklehead) but a 'nice' man who can be their friend, partner and lover and sometimes its too late. Thats why there are a lot of single women. Also the fact that she has been in 3 abusive relationships tells you what type of man she has been used to choosing and also why women move from one abusive relationship to another. So continue to do what you do. Hopefully she can wake up or you can find you a real woman who can accept a man who can be a 'real man'!

Answer 2

There's something obviously wrong with this woman. And you might not liek hearing it, but i agree that she's a freeloader and she's probab;y a gold digger too. Sorry..

you should just let her sort out her own problem..
trying to date someone with no goals, job or money never got me anywhere..i only dug myslef a hole full of hurt, regret and debt.

Answer 3

I am glad ur good to her but sry she is sort of useing u. And u r doning nothing wrong. I am sorry.

Answer 4

No disrespect but this girl has issues, she needs some serious counseling. If I were you I'd have a talk with her and let her know how I felt. Period ! put you foot down.

Answer 5

She is used to violence so she probably thrives on it. I can see how she feels. She thinks she is in a good place with you since you are a good man and treat her well but her instincts say that you should be fighting with her if you care about her. You are not doing anything wrong, just different than she is used to. She probably thinks all men will end up hurting her.

Bottom line is, she has problems. What you should do is tell her you expect her to have a job and help out around the house and buy her own vehicle. You have to stand up for yourself. She is going to start seeing you as someone she can walk all over and won't respect you. You need to demand some respect and at the same time let her know that while you can stand up for yourself and you do care about her you are not like the other men in her life and you are never gonna be. Maybe a committment right now would not be the best thing for her or you.

Answer 6

tell her She can't stay around without paying and just get off by your money and be lazy? This is the twenty first century. knowledge is power. he needs to get a job, or go to a school to get a job.
and don't 'stay' with her because she wants you to somehow prove you are not violent but how long do you have to wait? time is passing.
Sorry if thats not the answer you were looking for but my mom dted a guy and they were going to get married 7/7/07 but in 2005 he called her on april fools day and said it was over (may i add on april 1 her best friend was buring from dying of cancer years beforehand) Now that guy has a girlfriend and is living life just like you are. except there married because this girl justwants to use him.

Answer 7

You didn't so anything wrong probably!!! She's just afraid that it will happen again and she will get hurt again. Just talk to her and tell her that you won't ever do that, and that you will always be there for her. That's all she could ever want, and ever will.

Answer 8

What you are doing wrong is tolerating her crap. I suggest you kick her out and run from this relationship as quick as you can. It will NEVER be good for you. You can't fix people, and she definitely needs fixing. I mean honestly, you have to ask yourself what you are getting out of this relationship. You are supplying everything. She contributes nothing. Wish you the best and hope you make a good decision that is in YOUR best interest.

Answer 9

You need to have a serious talk with her. Be firm but loving in your tone. Look, I feel bad about her past r'ships and it's certainly understandable that she'd be a bit gunshy when it comes to men. But it's wrong of her to continue leading you on, pretending to love you if she doesn't, or pretending there's a future with you if she knows there is none. There's no excuse for that. I don't care what she's been through. You deserve someone who will love you fully and give 100% of herself to you which includes her trust. Excuse the horrible saying but she needs to "either sh*t or get off the pot." She's trying to have her cake & eat it too. Every woman has her own inner fears over past hurts but there comes a point where the man in her life has every right to expect her to finally open up. She can't expect you to KEEP proving how great you are over and over and over. At some point, she needs to trust you and trust the man you've proved you are. If she can't do that, then she needs to get the hell out. She's using you hon.

Answer 10

maybe u need to be firm w her. tell her how u feel. i feel like she is using u. just have a good chat w her about ur feeling