I really love my boyfriend, but he gets mad at me a lot and says i do dumb stuff. And i try to be all smart or w/e but then its like something i didnt even think anything about im gettin yelled at for. And he says that i say im "always right" even though i CONSTANTLY admit that i was wrong about just about ANYTHING. How the heck do i figure out what is going to be a big deal and what isnt?
2007-12-31 17:03:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How do you stop being dumb???? The first thing you must do is never think you are dumb. people make mistakes all the time and do things they think is in their best interest.it called "learning". there is a big difference between being ingnorant ( you dont know what or why you are doing something ) and being dumb ( you knew it was dumb and you did it anyway ). nontheless, its not your boyfriends resposibility/decision to tell you how smart or how not smart you are. your boyfriend is supposed to be your boyfriend, not your father. if he is trying to help you, then he must use a better "constructive" approach to help you "know" why you do the things you do, not critizie you, love is not supposed to be destructive. is there a big age difference between you two? if yes, then it will be hard for him to change, if no, then who is he to have the right to "yell" at you? women are more mature than men. period. and you just might be right all the time...lol.
2007-12-31 17:27:20 · answer #1 · answered by Merovingian 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you love him?
He seems to be messing with your mind. It seems that he's lowering your self-esteem a little and he doesn't really understand you. Maybe he's taking advantage of you. Or maybe that's the way he is. Regardless, you don't need to put up with this type of crap. Talk to him and tell him that he needs to stop yelling at you about these things. Yelling at you isn't going to help your relationship and it seems like he's the only one that's truly damaging it. Talk to him, hun. He needs to know that he isn't the great boyfriend he might think he is.
BEST OF LUCK!
2008-01-01 01:13:18 · answer #2 · answered by zomgbuddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Understand. Its the first part.
You want to ":get un-dumb" right? The first step is to understand. Get "metrology" (measurements) of how dumb you are. Get a yardstick that will enable you to know where you are, and the direction you have to go to get toward better.
Get a pad of paper, and every time you say "Im right" count it, and write it on the paper. After a day or two you will have an exact idea of how often you say it. Count how often you say "Im wrong, or you are right" and compare it to the "Im rights". You will have exact quantitative knowlege of how often you say what. You will also be more familiar with when you say it.. the context. After a little while of tracking then you can start trying to think up ways that might work to help change things. You could keep the notebook, and every time you put a hash mark for saying "Im right" consider turning to the person and saying "No Im not, please excuse me for saying that". After a little while of practice it might help. When you have measured the problem, come up with solutions, tried them, evaluated how well they work, and repeated for a while the scientific method should work to significantly reduce how often you say "Im right". It can also work to reduce your "blonde moments".
2008-01-01 01:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump the jerk ---- you are not being dumb he is --- he is controlling and abusive and you will find someone that appreciates you for who you are --- best wishes
2008-01-01 01:12:00 · answer #4 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a victim and tell your man to pick himself up and walk right out the door, don't turn around now your not welcome anymore...
2008-01-01 01:11:16 · answer #5 · answered by DWInSTL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is a jerk. You're not dumb! Dump him and find someone better.
2008-01-01 01:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by Lonewolf 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he doesn't like you for you then it is time to let him go and get someone who appreciates you for you for real...this is only lowering your self-esteem and causing you to think that you are dumb.
2008-01-01 01:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by RARE GEM 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You start to stop the "dumb" when you dump the boyfriend who yells at you and belittles you and find someone who appreciates you for the nice person you are. Then, you will have stopped being dumb.
2008-01-01 01:09:55 · answer #8 · answered by Ellen D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just watch what you say in front of him and maybe just go out and get a smart brain
2008-01-01 01:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by Sexychick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. I wouldn't know, but it LOOKS like you haven't got a very nice boyfriend... He should just love you as-is.
2008-01-01 01:08:38 · answer #10 · answered by Jules 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋