how can a person have perfect joy in heaven if someone they loved went to hell?

Question

This is a question my 10 y/o daughter asked me. I can't answer it concisely enough (for my own satisfaction, or hers either, I guess). Christian answers will be relayed to her, others will just be enjoyed by me alone

Answer 1

I'm not Christian and thus don't have this particular question to answer, but this is the type of answer I give my younger children when they ask me for definitive answers about unknowable things:

(I'm going for honest and reassuring at the same time.)

Nobody knows what it's really like after you die. Lots of people have thought about it, and lots of people have ideas about it, but nobody knows for sure.

There are some things that we just don't know. We don't know what is going to happen in the future. We don't know what other people are thinking. We don't know what happens after death. We don't know why good people suffer.

It can be really frustrating not to know these things, but really, not knowing is a gift from G-d to us. Our minds are limited. We would lose too much if we could know such things.

If we knew what was going to happen next, we would lose the present. There could be no freedom choice, because it would all be decided. We get to have free will only if we don't know what comes next.

Sometimes, what is going to happen next is so painful that we would be paralyzed and preoccupied by knowing it was coming, so that we would be unable to enjoy life in the mean-time.

If we knew what other people were thinking, there'd be no privacy. We'd have no need for conversation or communication.

If we knew why good people suffer, we'd lose empathy. We would see past their pain, and see that it all made sense. Our ability to connect with each other comes from being able to feel each other's pain. Without this, we wouldn't be able to really love each other.

So for all of these reasons, G-d puts a thick blanket over this knowledge, letting us make our choices, enjoy our lives, be with each other, love each other, and to do good deeds. It's His way of protecting us.

We can't understand G-d's plans because our minds are finite, and G-d is beyond that. But we believe that G-d is good, and that there is a plan.

It's not our business to spend too much time guessing about things that we just can't know, like what happens after death.

We believe that it will all make sense when you get there.

Anyone who tells you they know these things is either lying or mistaken. Our job is to do our best to do what's right, and trust that G-d will show us His plan on His schedule.

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P.S. I really love how you've honored your daughter's curiosity and intelligence by admitting you don't know the answer and seeking others' opinions.

I think whatever answers you give her are less important than how you've handled the question: with integrity and an open mind.

Way to go!

Answer 2

It is true that the happiness of heaven is, in part, being with our loved ones and friends again. If someone went to hell, they did not love our Lord Jesus back as he loved us, and imagine how you'd feel if your father killed someone, the act of injustice towards the person he killed is abhorant to you, and you would of corse want justice to prevail even if your father did the terrible crime, so you will not be saddened by the loss of someone, who went to hell, for their hatefulness twoards our Lord who is so extrememly loveable and kind.

Answer 3

a million- God in His mercy will take those youthful ones to heaven in the present day- there is an age of accountability- and God knows while it relatively is achievable for a newborn to come back to appreciate Christ. 2- it a mentally challenged guy or woman isn't waiting to appreciate who Christ is, of direction they could be in heaven. although, i understand a great group of mentally challenged people, who've a ministry at a church that I as quickly as attended- and that i'll tell you this- they worship God with such exhilaration and humility- choose we would try this as freely. 3- examine Romans financial ruin a million- it says that anybody can see the data of God in the event that they seem- although if for some reason somebody in no way heard approximately Jesus- God might take them to heaven. 4- in the event that they have been real born back believers- they could be in heaven. Jesus died to save them from sin, no remember if each and every sin strengthen into confessed of or no longer. that does no longer propose we are able to proceed blatantly in our sin as believers. 5- babies, in the event that they die and are not baptized would be in heaven. Baptism does no longer, the two as a newborn or as an grownup save everyone. Like a prior questions- babies won't be able to be held responsible. 6- The unforgivable or blasphemous sin is to disclaim the holy spirit- and in the event that they try this they are going to in no way strengthen into believers. If for some reason somebody concept that they committed it and primary Christ they could be in heaven. no person that has certainly committed it is going to ever think of they choose Jesus. 7- at first, believing in Jesus and Christianity won't inevitably be salvation. WHY? with the aid of fact even devil believes that and he won't in any respect be there the two. Why do i believe the way that I do? once you have a private relationship with God, it would desire to no longer be the least confusing element to tell a guy or woman why, who chooses to no longer believe. Why i believe it is not with the aid of fact of blind faith. when I did step out in faith and primary Christ as Savior, He printed Himself to me, so those people who do believe, certainly can understand HIM.

Answer 4

no offense, honestly.
but I can't understand your perspective.

I mean this is really a pretty MASSIVE problem. I have never heard of a solution to that issue that I found sufficient to say "ok that would work and I could deal with that as the solution to the problem in a way I can accept"

every solution I've heard sounds either nonsensically non-answer-ing or pretty much evil! (personally I for one do not find the idea of getting a lobotomy upon entry to heaven a very good thing!)

at least for my own opinion, I could not. period. and I have no interest in being in a heaven where anyone, even people I did not know, were in eternal torment like many christians believe.
being Jewish, of course, this is no problem at all, as the old testament doesn't actually teach there being an eternal hell.

to some of the answers, basically these are saying that you should teach her that she will either forget her friends, or will eventually not care that according to those beliefs, those people who were loved, are being tormented forever. is that what you want to teach?

lol @ swindled, yeah, thats comforting. IMO its somewhat sick. even some of the "good" outcomes that some christians believe in, is profoundly evil.

Answer 5

There is no eternal torture. eternal life is a gift of YHVH. If someone refuses it, they will be burned when sin and sinners are destroyed when the earth is purified by fire so YAHOSHUA can make all things new, and very good.

Answer 6

She's a smart child. ; )

Answer 7

It just doesn't happen. You have a background in material experience. In spirit, nothing like that would ever happen.

Answer 8

There will be a time when we will mourn of the ones we lost. But will God will wipe away all our pain and tears.

Answer 9

I have read that those who go to Heaven have such joy that they are not sad for their loved ones who are not in Heaven.
Earthly cares are no more.

I'm sorry, but that is the best I have for you.

Ask a pastor.

Answer 10

Because you will get the joy from being in the presence of God, not from being with your friends.