For the last three months, my family has been rather mean and thoughtless - nasty on my birthday, rude all the way to Christmas, and not including me in their plans. Now, on New Year's Eve, they assume that I am going to spend time with them, when there were no plans made. So I encouraged the shocked duo to go with my parents to a friend's home for a games party - and I am breathing a sigh of relief. It feels good to know that someone (namely me) cares for me - I've been putting myself last, and not liking what I've been seeing and hearing. Should I care that no plans were made, or that they assumed and never included me in any plans - especially after their recent treatment?
2007-12-31 14:42:15 · 13 answers · asked by roadrunner 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
We've had quite a few conversations about the whatever/selfish/downright mean....to no avail. Promises to do better seemed to be forgotten within minutes, sometimes....One is a teenager, one is a grownup who used to be rather charming and thoughtful. No infidelity here - just plain thoughtless and/or rude.
2007-12-31 15:09:06 · update #1
thats really sad that they've been treating you like that well good for you to do that you need to think of yourself too it kinda goes both ways not including you in plans makes you not want to include them in things.
2007-12-31 14:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Amy D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your marriage sucks that bad, and your own child treats you like a step child, maybe you could do a self-assessment. set some personal boundaries (you can do a yahoo search) and stop living as a door mat.
maybe marriage counseling too.. or just get out if you're married to someone who has no respect for you.
2007-12-31 15:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said it yourself; you've been putting yourself last. Speak to them and let them know that you feel slighted and abused. Tell them exactly what they have done to make you feel so badly, but still reassure them of your love. Make it clear that you will go "on strike" if things don't change. Stop allowing your family to treat you like a doormat. By devaluing yourself, you give people, even family, the opportunity to make you feel less than you are.
2007-12-31 15:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't give any details as to why they would be treating you this way. Now old is your son? Have you and your wife been having problems for while? Is she seeing someone else? Is she having problems at work? Has she been under a sressful situation recently?
If this treatment came out of nowhere....she has some explaining to do. If your son is a teenager, can you ask him directly what has been going on? If he is young....he's just doing what his mother tells him to do.
You really need to find out what the problem is with them and figure out a solution.
2007-12-31 14:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by lacrosselover 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to re-establish your position as one of the two adults in the family. You need to have a talk with your husband and state very clearly that his treatment of you is unacceptable and must end and return to the way things were earlier in the marriage. Once he agrees, the two of you set your son down and explain the new facts of life. Otherwise you just biding time until you decide to divorce him.
2007-12-31 14:57:25 · answer #5 · answered by bardmere 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes you should care and put a stop to it now. I don't know why or what their reasons if any to treat you with disrespect. I'm sure they are there to get their clean clothes and the meals prepared by you. Put an end to that and see how they like doing those things for themselves,and all of it. By allowing your husband to disrespect you and then allowing your son to follow suit while he sits back and watches is a trip you don't need to take. Your husband should not allow your son to talk to you that way and he shouldn't either. You need to tell them that you are not going to be subjected to this abuse although not physical I hope is not to tolerated anymore by you. If they like to leave you out of the fesivities let them and you go somewhere with one of your close friends for life is too short to be miserable and hurt. Good luck with this problem and I'll give you a Happy New Year wish. Keep strong and keep your head up.
2007-12-31 14:55:25 · answer #6 · answered by cc's bad 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just make yourself happy
2007-12-31 14:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Sounds like the dumps to me. I do not envy your situation. It also sounds like you and the spouse have definate communication problems. And the only way to get through them is to talk them out. As for the son... i don't know... is he just following in the footsteps of the spouse? She is doing it so he can too? Maybe you and your wife need marriage counciling. It can't hurt.
Good Luck!
2007-12-31 14:51:12 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara F 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe if you want to see a change in your family have a talk with them, or if they have to be so sour you can go without informing them until they get the idea. But I think you should talk to them, because fighting will only cause probs. good luck and happy new year
2007-12-31 14:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by Mimí..ツ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you need to talk to the spouse, and see what the problem is.
2007-12-31 14:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Rudy J 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋