How to help my little brother learn values, morals, respect, etc. when no one else trys?

Question

I have posted questions sorta pertaining to this same subject b4. I am 23 years old and havent lived with parents for years. They are seperated and my 11 year old brother gets flung from parent to parent. Neither one of them really does their part as a parent and I know they can... they did a good job with me and my sister. Anyway I feel the need to step up and teach him stuff, I know its not my responsibility but my parents are more concerned with getting their rocks off so to spea k. The problem is when I keep him for days on end he wont mind me and how I am going to get him to when no one else trys to make him mind. This is so hard for me! I wish they would step up but since they wont what should i do

Aww thank you all for your wonderful comments and suggestions! I guess I am doing the right thing and sometimes I just need encouragment because I worry that I am not doing enough.....I am sorry but I will have to let the voters decide who was the best and hopefully I will get more suggestions too. Its so hard a moment ago I called him to wish him a happy new year and he kinda had a "what do you want" attitude. Just pray for him please!

Answer 1

You can teach him by being a good example.

Answer 2

I think it's wonderful, helping your younger brother. Teaching
good morals,respect and values will help him prosper in
life.

Answer 3

Go to a Christian bookstore and buy him a Bible written so that children his age can understand it, because what he needs to learn about values, morals and respect are within its pages. I will be praying for you & your brother. God bless you, and Happy New Year!!!

Answer 4

An 11 year boy, hu? Wow, I bet he's a handful! Well, honestly there's not so much more you can do. I mean, as an older sibling, you have to be a rolemodel, but he's already so far along age wise you just kind of have to be there. Some ideas for the first step (Getting him to like you so he obeys you) are as follows;
1. Allow him to have a friend over when he stays with you.
2. If your budget allows it, give him an allowance. I know this may sound...parent like, but hey, you want him to like you right?
3. Talk to him as a friend, not as...an older sibling parent figure.
I know, I know as an 11 year old boy, he's not going to be the easiest to handle, but try these simple 3 steps at first and maybe try having a one on one talk with your parents. I mean, there's no guarantee of help, but there's not really much else you can do. If you need further help on this subject or on any other subject, feel free to contact me at [e-mail] Thanks!!!

Answer 5

yes; set a good example, but it will not be easy. he is the way he is because of his situation, as you know. it sounds like he might be a very angry child. he needs patience, under
standing and perserverence. he needs to know that he can trust you and that you represent stability. i'm sure nothing in his life allows him to feel secure. if you dont step in and help, can you live with that? its your choice to decide how involved you get. its hard to take care of yourself, let alone someone else with problems. i personnally would do what i could, especially since i came from an abusive household. i'm not any sort of expert, i dont have kids or siblings, but , i would do everything i could to help. but that person has to want to be helped. he might never verbalize it, but if hes willing to accept the help, you'll see it.

Answer 6

Tell him that you love him and want the best for him.... tell him you are trying to help him... that in life you need to learn values and respect.... when you have him ... offer him some special rewards for listening to you and minded you... tell him why it is important.... one day he will be on his own and he will remember what you have told him... if you tell him in a way that does sound like you are lecturing him.... you can get more flies with honey.... just let him know you care....most kids will listen if they know you really love them... don't give up on him... he is going thru a hard time...I think it is so wonderful that you care... God Bless You!!!

Answer 7

For cripes sakes parents can't you see you are loosing your kids...The kids are concerned about your sex life not their own. Just get it on and tell your kids they are okay.

Answer 8

First off let me say I admire you for stepping up to help your brother. Yes, leading by example is the best way. Surround him with the most positive influences you can when he is with you.
Have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that you enjoy having him stay with you but that you need to have an understanding and respect for each other. Tell him that you know mom and dad are not always there for him and that he can come to you with any questions or problems he may ever have.
It is important for him to see he is not alone.

Answer 9

Even though i have no experience in this, i would think, don't become his parent, be his sister and connect with him, let him know what you think about things and he will learn through your examples, because he will respect you, my younger brother and I talk about his problems and whats going on his life, he asks about my opinion, and then i let him know whats the right thing to do. he needs to respect you before he will be open to following your suggestions. good luck.

Answer 10

If you are spending time with your brother in your home, then you need to set personal boundaries and limits with him. If you do not know what personal boundaries are, you can do a yahoo search for Setting Personal Boundaries... lots of information.

You can take the time to sit down with your brother and let him know what your own house rules are... and you can also let him know that there are rewards for good behavior. You will have to decide what those rewards are -- perhaps they will be spending time playing games together, or whatever he likes to do? Buying things for him should be low on the list of "rewards" by the way.

I'm sure your brother has been deeply affected by your parents' divorce, and his way of reacting to it all is by misbehaving and not listening. While you are not responsible for his medical care, maybe suggest he could use some "help" to your parents. They might want to take time out of their busy sex lives to spend quality time with him, encourage and support him... they really need to act like he EXISTS!

Sometimes our divorced parents act 11 too.

take care and you sound like a good, caring sister. I hope you get some good answers here, and that things will work out in the long run. Your brother is probably thankful he has YOU -- if not now, he will be later, that's for sure... hugs

Answer 11

If thats your baby brother, then that is your responsibility to pick up the slack if your parents won't. With my little brother I came down to his level and bargianed and bribed him a little. Try to use the same methods your parents used on you and ur sister on him. It's not gonna be easy, cuz to him ur peers. U are but cuz of the age difference you are his elder.Good Luck its gonna be hard, but if u love him and it sounds like u do, you'll get through.