mother in law does not like my son?

Question

My mother in law first off does not like me because I stole her son away. Well now I noticed that she treats me 15 month old son like crap. She never lets him play with the other kids toys saying he will break them but they can play with his. She yells at him all the time and he is just a baby. She has only seen him 4 times and all the other grandkids she sees all the time. She bought all the other grandkids tons of stuff and told us she didnt have that much money for christmas. What should I do? I really dont want this lady around my child. I got treated like that by my grandparents and hated going to see them. You can defiently tell who her favorite grandchild is and her least. My son will never be good enough for her. I really want my son to have a grandma but not if she is gonna teat him like crap.

My husband has tried talking to his mother about me and the baby and she beleives that she is doing nothing wrong. I try to be the bigger person and still go see her but its starting to affect my son and he runs from her because she yells at him all the time.

Answer 1

Its your job to protect your child from abuse and she is emotionally abusing him. Dont be around her.

Answer 2

Can you ask your son if the two of you can set up another day to go shopping together ? maybe you could make a day of it and shout him to lunch . It seems to me that you do not have a great relationship with your son and there is no time like the present to start rebuilding bridges , As hard as it is try not to act hurt that you have not been asked to join their shopping trip , maybe they both feel uncomfortable around you is there any reason that that could be possible ? You don't say with whom your son lives so i'm assuming that he spends more time with his grandmother than you . Try and build a good relationship with your mother - in - law too , you will all have to learn to socialise if you want to be comfortably in your sons life. Take stock of past events , take responsibility for the things that are yours and find it in your heart to forgive the things that others have done. Your son is the important one here so do all you can to get actively back in his life in a positive way , good luck.

Answer 3

You can not make this woman be the grandmother that you would like. Bottom line stop putting yourself in a position along with your child to be abused. Tell her have a good life
see ya and go on with your husband and baby. I am sure you have other family and friends that love your child and you.

She is not going to change so why act shocked when she is abusive? That is how she is.

Answer 4

You just need to stop seeing her altogether. that is not healthy for your son to be around. Tell your husband that you won't put yourself or your child throught that anymore. Maybe if he tells his mom that unless she treats you and your son better, he wont be around as much, she will get the hint. but don't hold your breath. the only person that can change the old witch is her. but maybe your husband can help by keeping his distance for awhile.

Answer 5

KEEP YOUR SON AWAY FROM HER as much as possible! I went through this with my MIL and youngest son. As he got older he noticed how she treated him differently and it caused him horrible emotional pain. I made a point of finding older couples who were more then willing to play 'grandma/grandpa' for him and he adores all of his 'grandparents'.
If talking to her didn't do any good (and it didn't with mine either) then you need to shield him from her behavior. The minute she yelled at my baby I gave her a what for and explained he is a baby. As mine got older it really started to hurt him and he'd ask why he was so bad even grandma hated him. I tried to explain it that grandma had some problems in her head and it was her and not him at all. When he got even older and understood what was going on he was finally able to see it wasn't him it was just her craziness.
Now he wants little to nothing to do with her and she carries on about it. I finally told her one day 'you reap what you sow'. It irritates the heck out of her to run into my child when he's out in public with his 'grandparents' and she about had a break down when she was with her girlfriends one day and my son introduced them all to his 'grandparents' and called them grandpa and grandma in front of her.
It's you MIL's loss. All you can do is try to shield your child from the hurt and if there aren't any other grandparents find some honorary ones. Best of luck!

Answer 6

don't bother seeing her anymore.. you are exposing YOURSELF and your son to this sort of treatment. why?

doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results is the definition of insanity. you're the only one who can stop it.

Answer 7

let it go...if she wont treat him fair,then she doesn't need to see him at all.Besides,that he doesn't need to be saround that,b/c soon he will also notice!!!

Answer 8

What does your husband have to say about all this? You have the right to keep your son away from her so he doesn't have to feel her negativity. You also have the opportunity to make sure your son knows he's special and he doesn't have to feel bad about his grandmother's actions. Her actions are about her, not him. You may never get her to act differently toward you or your son. But you don't have to allow her actions to affect either of you. As everyone else has said, your husband should be stepping in to try to get through to her. He chose to spend his life with you and she has to learn to accept that. It's up to him to take a stand with her.

Answer 9

I've been married 25 years. I had a 2 year old son from a previous marriage prior -- my mother-in-law couldn't stand me either (FOR THE SAME REASON -- I TOOK HER BABY) --- she STILL says she's mad at ME because we lived together for a year prior to getting married and that was 25 years ago. They DID NO TREAT my son (they would be step grandchild) anything CLOSE to their grandchildren. It is harmful on the child -- trust me!!! Remove yourself. Tell your husband it is your job to protect your son emotionally and physically and you can not ALLOW him to be messed up by her actions. That HURTS kids big time. My son is 29 now and also a drug addict. HIs brother (raised the same way by us, is doing great)....but he was hurt BAD emotionally because of the way she and the family treated him....it was HELL. Don't allow them to do that to your child. I am NOT BLAMING her for him being a drug addict BUT I do think with all he had going on in his life, if they at least TRIED, it might have helped him feel more loved.

Answer 10

I agree with *lips*-your husband has to do the talking. It can't come from you or she won't listen. Point out to your husband about what is taking place and ask him to talk to his mother.

Answer 11

!If your mother-in-law dosnt love your son, you just have to forget about her. she didnt like you in the first place and now that she hates your son as well, its twice as much. My suggestion is to forget about her completely. A gandmother is not important to a child. Your child dosnt need his grandmother, he needs his parents!