Why is my daughter so angry!!??

Question

I am very concerned with my daughters behavior!!

My daughter is 20 years old and she has been acting VERY funny the past 2 days.

We went on vacation up to Boston and my husband acted very immature. He got very angry and left my daughter and I stranded up in Boston with no car or no way home. My daughter and I were forced to take a plane ride home from Boston back to New York City. She was supposed to see her uncle who was dieing of cancer that day but...because my husband left we were forced to leave and find a plane back home and were unable to see her uncle.

Since we've gotten home she has made NO EFFORT to see my husband or I. She said things were going to change and I believe she may have meant it. She hasn't been coming home until 1:00 A.M. and is gone out of the house by 9:00 the next morning She doesn't talk to my husband or I at all. The only thing she tells my husband and I is she's going out and who she is with. She used to be very open with us as to why she was upset or what not now she tells us nothing!

When we ask her what is going on she responds "it's none of your business."

Also....Tonight, I do not want her driving past 8:00 P.M. because it's new years eve. She got very angry with me and intends to leave right after the ball drops and stay at a friends house. I asked her girlfriend who is the same age and who's house she is going to to drive my daughter over there and I will pick my daughter up tomorrow morning.

She won't even stay here for new years!!
She won't speak to anyone in her family
and seems VERY hostile towards everyone
including her friends!!!!
what's wrong with my daughter??!!!
I've never seen her act like this

Answer 1

Two weeks ago you said "September 2006 - I lost my virginity to him and he told me 2 weeks later he wanted to dump me then he changed his mind."
How did you give birth and gain a 20 year old daughter in 2 weeks? You just had your senior prom last May.

Answer 2

A girl falls in love with her daddy FIRST.
A daddy is SUPERMAN to his daughter.
He acted very stupid. NO doubt about that.
He did not care about either of you. She is hurt. She SHOULD be.
But she is mad with you because:::
He did not care about YOU either!
And you went back HOME to him!
Why are you two living with a man that does not care about either of you?
Why are you still married and living with a man that does not care about his wife and child??
Do NOT make excuses for this loser.
You and your husband has problems in your marriage before this happened. That is obvious.
No wonder she is mad. I would be also.

Answer 3

From what you have shared in your question, I would surmise
that your daughter is frustrated with her father's behavior in Boston and is just living her own life.
You didn't state how close your daughter is to her terminally ill uncle, but that could have been very painful for her to leave to fly home without being able to see him one more time. I don't find
that hard to understand, do you?
Was there any way you could have delayed the flight home so she could have seen her uncle? If so, then perhaps she is upset with you as well as with her father for making that
final visit impossible due to your decisions.
She is twenty years old and has a right to live her own life.....
It appears she is trying her best to minimize contact and time with you and her father at this point in her life.
I may be wrong, but I feel if you really sit quietly and think
through some of this, you will know exactly what is wrong and why your daughter has set her boundaries where they are now in terms of your relationships.
I have to admit, as a former hospice nurse, it is hard for me to understand how anyone could or why they would make it
virtually impossible for a family member to see a dying
loved one. Life is precious; life is short.....it is not to be
taken for granted.
Perhaps when some time has passed, your daughter will
feel more free to express what she is feeling. In the meantime, all you can do is let her live her life and love her.

By the way, though you mention you are concerned by your daughter's behavior, you do not mention with the same emphasis your husband's poor behavior in Boston.......
if this is not a one time incident but an on-going cycle with him, perhaps it is one more thing she is saying is going
to end..... his disrupting of family plans? You know more than I do if this is possibly true.

All the best,
Doris

Answer 4

Major Tom is right. This person posted a question a month ago stating she was 21 and in college and it was her birthday.

Answer 5

i think your daughter is involved in a fraternity, sex, police station. I mean, the only matter she had changed is ecause of this things. She's so disrespactful.... lock her i n her room until she learns her lesson

Answer 6

well she is 20 years old..
it is time for her to move on and out and begin her own life..
and i wouldnt blame her for being angry at at least your husband for leaving you two stranded.. and death is a very sore subject and i understand why she would be upset for not being able to see her uncle.. especially if she was close to him.. or wanted to be...

just give her some room and time.. and let her grow up..
dont hold on so tight.. bcuz now holding on too tight might just make her push away more

Answer 7

Give her some time. She wanted to see her uncle who is dying. She didn't get to see him because your husband acted like a jerk and abandoned you both in another city. Do you not think she has anything to be angry about? Why aren't you angry with your husband? It's been 2 days and she hasn't cooled down yet. She doesn't know if she'll ever be able to see her uncle again before he dies.

She used to be very open with you both about why she was upset but her statement of "things are going to change" kind of sounds like maybe she's not been as open as you thought. Or maybe she's been telling you but feels like you haven't been hearing her. It sounds like there have been things she's been bothered about but maybe hasn't seen the changes she thought she should see. In any case, she's probably going to a friend's house and just hanging out to avoid you both. Leave her alone for a few days and let her cool off. Eventually she'll get to where she can talk about what happened. Until then, leave her be. It may help if your husband apologizes to both of you.

Answer 8

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR DAUGHTER? What is wrong with you? You expect her to forget what her father did to her. She wanted to see her uncle before he dies, and that will not happened because the father is a spoiled brat. So I think that issue needs to be resolved. She is 20 years old. It is time for her to move out, especially if she is not shone any respect, you are used to it, but she does not want to be treated like that. She will move out, and it will be very hard for this to be fixed.

Answer 9

Ever hear of the straw that broke the camel's back?
After all, she is 20. Give her some time, don't pressure her too much, as long as you know where she is and who she is with, let that be enough for now. At some later date take her out to lunch and see then if you can get her to talk then.

Answer 10

wow--my thoughts are with you. i hope someone out there has the knowledge to help you.