Hello, I love having my son. But, what is it with stay at home moms and they just LOVE being just a mom?

Question

I want more! I like having a career....is there something wrong with this? I notice always "wars" among sahm vs. working moms!

Answer 1

Get out and DO it! I can't even begin to understand why any SANE woman would want to stay home all day!

Answer 2

When you use words like "just a mom" and you want "more" that tends to raise a stay at home moms temper. And then you wonder why there's a war. LOL

If you want to work outside the home, more power to you. There is nothing wrong with it. Enjoy it.

Been there, done that and hated it. I missed my kids badly. When I was at work (while I enjoyed it) I spent a lot of time thinking about my kids. Personally, I love staying home. I enjoying spending a lot of time with my kids. Just as there is nothing wrong with your choice, there is nothing wrong with mine and I'm not "just" a mom. I'm a stay-at-home mom.

Answer 3

Who says that because we stay at home we are "just" moms? I have many facets to my life, even without a career. I do volunteer work, am involved in clubs and activities (with my children, and without them) and I got to college part time for my own edification. Right now I'm studying Japanese and English Literature, and am taking an oriental cooking class. I just don't want my children in day care, nor do I want them to EVER come home to an empty house, the way I did as a child.

My activities take place when my children are at school, or in the hands of my spouse or a trusted family friend. That is the only way I'll have it. It doesn't make me a "better" parent than a working mother, nor does it mean I am sacrificing my individuality for my children...in fact, I believe that as a mother you NEED outlets in your life...you can't give your children the world if you don't know anything about it!

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with this. As a mom of two, there are many many moms who cannot stay at home for financial reasons. It does not make you a bad mom to work outside the home.

I think if you were to stay home without having a job, you might resent being at home and not devote the time to your child as well.

Answer 5

I do miss working. But I feel very fortunate that I can stay at home with my daughter all day. I love teaching her new things, watching her discover new things, watching her learn new things, listening to her say her first new word...I love it. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I don't plan on going back to work until I'm finished having kids and they will be able to take care of themselves when they come home from school.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a mom that wants a career. Every mother is different and has a right to make her own choice. If I wasn't fortunate enough to stay at home, I would be working just like you! How can I have a "war" with you?

Let's say that you could stay at home, but you want to work. Well, it's your decision. I just feel more comfortable watching my daughter all day, rather than someone at a day care center. I don't think I could fully trust someone I don't really know to watch my child. But, like I said, this is my choice and my decison, no one elses.

Like, my brother and his wife both work, they send their daughter to day care, but I don't look down on them because they send their daughter to day care...that's the best that they can do for now, and they aren't willing to sacrafice their "family" time to work opposite shifts, and I respect that.

Don't get me wrong, I miss working in an office and conversing with other adults all day...but I have the opportunity to work from home and spend more time with my daughter...and I love it.

Answer 6

I liked my career, too. I've put it on hold for a while because I also love raising my kids full-time. i will go back to my career eventually. some people choose to work in child-care or education (of other people's kids) as a profession. some people find it rewarding to do the same with their own kids only. some people couldn't imagine liking such a thing full-time -- or giving up a different career that they love.

some of us like being tax accountants and some like being professional basketball players. some like crocheting and some like surfing. some like chocolate and some like vanilla. is it really so hard to understand that some people want to put their careers on hold to devote more time to their kids and some people want to keep on the career track? to each her own. i'm way more interested in how somebody's kids are turning out than the path the parents choose for getting them there.

Answer 7

Let me try to quantify and simplify this as much as possible...

Each and every person has 24 hours in each day, and must decide how to spend that time.

A stay-at-home mother spends all 24 hours of her day being a mother.

A mother who works full-time spends more-or-less 8-9 hours of each of her days working. That means she has less than 16 hours of her day to allot to parenting.

A mother who parents 24 hours a day is doing more parenting than a mother who parents 16 hours a day.

It's every woman's personal decision on whether or not to work, and it's not my place to judge. However, working moms should stop lying to themselves. Time spent physically separated from your child does not count as active parenting.

In case you're wondering, I am a woman who absolutely loves my career. I can't stand weekends and am not bothered by the fact that I'm earning $26,000/year despite having multiple university degrees. However, if I ever decide to become a mother, I will absolutely leave my career to raise my children. Why on earth would I bring them into this world, only to have them raised by someone who does not love them? Why would I want a virtual stranger to witness my child's first steps, discipline and praise my child as they see fit, and be the one to answer my child's difficult questions? It will be my duty and honor as a parent to raise my child in the best way I know how, guided by my value system, my unparalleled familiarity with my child's individuality, and above all the parental love that only parents can have towards their children. This cannot be done if I am not physically with my child.

Answer 8

I don't look at it as "just" being a mum. There is nothing wrong with you wanting more either. Everyone wants different things from their lives and we should all respect that

Answer 9

If you love your career...go for it. Be a Mom and work too. That is great!! As a stay at home Mom, I also used to be out in the workforce. I couldn't stand it. All I wanted to do was be home, cleaning house, cooking, washing laundry. To some that might sound like Hell for them...but it is Heaven for me. No boss yelling at me to meet dead-lines or do-this or that. I am my own boss. If I want to work hard all day...I can. If I want to take a break now and then...no one is breathing down my neck. My home is always neat and clean and I love it!!!

Answer 10

Not everyone is the same, don't feel guilty for wanting to work. The happier you are the better off it will be for your son. I did stay at home until my son was almost a year, i loved it but I also wanted to finish my college education (I am doing that now). I have been on both sides, you have to do what truly makes you happy. Happy New Year and best of luck!!

Answer 11

Hello, I have 2 kids and I love them both very much. I am a stay at home mom and I love it , but there are things that I lose out on because of being a sahm.I have to wait until my children are both in school to get a job.I would love to have a career, but right now being home with my kids is more important to me.

There is nothing wrong with you having a career and liking it.I think that is great!:)

We both have the love for our children.You prefer to work and I prefer to be a stay at home mom.There are good and bad in each decision.

I have sometimes noticed the "wars" that you speak of, but in my view we are all moms so it shouldn't matter if you are a sahm or a working mom.

I'm sorry if you have been a victim of one of those "wars".
Good luck and have fun being a mommy:)