If you have items that you no longer need, should you be compelled to give them to "family" instead of someone else with a greater need?
I gave my 5 year old digital camera to my father in law's housekeeper. She had wanted advice to buy one, but I though that this lady is so good to my wife's dad, I gladly give it to her as a gift.
Now my wife's [college educated, high salaried] brother and wife are upset, saying "family should come first".
My wife is waffling, but I'd rather give according to need. The cleaning woman was interested in buying a camera to take pictures of her kids, etc, and has an income far beneath the brother in law and his wife....who have showed no interest in photography, and could easily buy this same camera on eBay for $60. To me, their only interest seemed to be getting something for "free",
Anyone else in this position? A friend calls it the "family comes first tax".
PS father in law is very happy with my decision, which is all that mattered!!
2007-12-31 10:30:27 · 6 answers · asked by PaoloPH 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The camera was yours to give to whom you chose. Your brother-in-law and his wife can be upset, but it's no business of theirs. Busy bodies!
I've never heard of the "family comes first tax".
I agree with your decision. You made your father-in-law happy and you probably made your father-in-law's housekeeper EXTREMELY happy!
2007-12-31 10:50:01 · answer #1 · answered by tashaocmd2 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your wife should put the brother in his place. It just goes to show the saying that no good deed goes unpunished.
2007-12-31 10:54:33 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yeah - that happens a lot of time.. Just ignore them - do whatever you want to... I think you made a right decison - I would have done the same - let them whine as much as they want..
2007-12-31 10:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jaggu Don 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would like to underline your statement:
"To me, their only interest seemed to be getting something for 'free.'"
Greed should not be rewarded.
Family only comes first when they are living up to the standards we set for them: would you bend to a child who did something obnoxious like this? Of course not -- you'd use it to teach the child a character-building lesson about right values, right place.
Discuss it with your wife (or course) but ignore the greedy bastards.
2007-12-31 10:41:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why is it people think they have the right to tell others what to do with their own resources?
Lumps of coal for the bro in law et al next Xmas. They need to learn some charity themselves I think.
2007-12-31 10:37:20 · answer #5 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you should give to those in NEED.
If your family is not low income and can afford a camera, they are not in NEED.
2008-01-01 01:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋