Okay, so my girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. She broke up with because she said she didn't love me the way she used to. We talked it out and said she was too busy for a relationship (which isn't bullshit she really is always busy), she also said she was still physically attracted to me, and that she can still see herself in a relationship with me after she graduates from her dance academy (this summer),maybe. I'm wanting to ask her to be friends with benefits since we still hang out a little and have remained friends. I'm willing to accept that it is sex and purely sex. I not going to be led on or be expecting what we once had. I know she enjoyed the sex with me, but I'm not sure she wants to have sex outside a relationship because she never has with me or previous guys. How should I go about talking to her about this and asking her. Help me.
2007-12-31 09:23:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah, ask, but at least whet her appetite before asking. Make her think it was her idea.
Look distant, or look at her and laugh to yourself for no reason, or somehow get her to ask what you're thinking about. String her along for a long time without answering ("I was just thinking about that time--... nah... you wouldn't-... it's nothing... "). Make her extremely curious. Make her drag it out of you, "against your will." Keep it mysterious but interesting for as long as you can. Like dangling a string in front of a cat. If she starts to give up, maybe throw in a "Okay, I'll tell you, but it's really nothing." When she's back on the hook, you back up again, "Nah, it's embarrassing..." (etc.)
Make her fight for every inch. *Then* you lean forward and tell her like you're letting her in on a big, important secret. Tell her you were "just thinking about that time we... [be explicit] ...that was pretty good, huh?" Then get her talking about other sexcapades you two had, before. Make her speak in explicit terms. ("What do you mean? Which time? What did we do, exactly?... ...Ohhh yeah! I remember that!") Drag that conversation out, too. Laugh about it with her.
Only *then*, when the stage is set and her mind is racing with good memories, do you go in for the kill: "Too bad we can't do that anymore, you know? You're so busy and all... If only there was a way to have great sex, without all the work of having a relationship..."
If she's into it, she'll suggest it. (thanks to your help) Even if she doesn't suggest it right away, she won't forget that conversation. She may take a few days to mull it over with her girlfriends, then suggest it later. Be patient, and make sure it's *her* idea.
2007-12-31 10:18:59 · answer #1 · answered by lmind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt do that... it will hurt someone in the end... but if you want to just go ahead and ask her.. Tell her you too are very attracted to her and wouldnt mind if you were still intimate.. no strings attached.
2008-01-02 14:15:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Kitty♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get how people seem to interpret "friends with benefits" as nothing buy sexual encounters. To be freinds with benefits don't you need to have a friendship as well as having sex? Otherwise how can it be friends with benefits? If you think you want to have a friends with benefits kind of relationship then friends should be able to talk openly about matters. If you don't care about being her friend than that's not friends with benefits that's just using someone for sex.
2007-12-31 17:48:55 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her and see what she says, but you're only setting yourself up for heartbreak. You're trying to convince yourself that you'll be satisfied with just having sex. If you really care for her you're not going to be able to separate your feelings. Respect her decision. Eventually you'll find someone else you'll probably like better than her. I assume you're young because you refer to her as your girlfriend. Good Luck!
2007-12-31 17:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by peaches6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go for it......sometimes 'friends with benefits' is the best kind of "relationship" to be in! Especially if the sex is good!
2007-12-31 17:28:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just ask her. take her somewhere quiet and romantice like a sunset at the beach then ask her
2007-12-31 17:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her. She either says "Yes," or she says "No."
If it's the latter, then just get on with life.
2007-12-31 17:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Marc M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋