2007-12-31 09:20:48 · 7 answers · asked by sunshineee (: 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in a while!
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better
on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was
tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going
to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will
judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly
flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the
power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known
in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,
"JESUS SAVES"
2007-12-31 18:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Love My Babies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two guys ar walking down the street and they see a dog licking its cahones by the roadside. The one guy says,"You know, I wish I could do that." The other guy says,"Don't you think you ought to pet him first?" or A guy walks in to a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender asks, "What the hell happened to you?" The duck says,"I don't know! It started out as a bump on my ***!"
2007-12-31 15:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by Stephen C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked.
"No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need."
"Then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?" she asked.
2007-12-31 14:35:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a black man flying a plane??
A Pilot . . . You F**king Racist!!
2007-12-31 09:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by jon h 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That many.
2007-12-31 09:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by H.M.C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i told you. i'd get reported
2007-12-31 09:32:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mary Jo W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whats got a top at the bottom?
A leg.
2007-12-31 09:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋