my ex recently contacted me?

Question

Hello, my ex-boyfriend whom I was in love with in high school and college recently contacted me.

I moved very far from my hometown to go to college in Boston. My ex and I tired to keep contact with one another, but it was too much distance. It also didn't help that I started to see his best friend (who was also at college in Boston).

I married his best friend, about 3 years after graduating. My ex was fine with things, was at the wedding, etc. However, shortly thereafter, my husband and I lost contact with him.

My husband passed away over a year ago now from being involved in a car accident. And my ex contacted me last week in a long letter saying how he heard about my husband but couldn't bring himself to come to the funeral, and how he misses me, and was wondering if it was alright that he came and saw me.

I would like to see him and catch up with him, but is this a bad idea? I do not want to give him false hope, or anything along those lines whatsoever.

Thank you.

Answer 1

Sure it is, if he is not married. And see each other as friends, because it really can't be anything else at this time. If it blossoms, nice. If it doesn't that is okay too.

(Pssssssst... and you need to lay down no law. You can be just friends. Doing something like "outlining rules" is a put down. He knows where your head is.... you're an educated lady, he is as well....)

Answer 2

Of course there's nothing wrong to let him visit you. But don't rush into any special relationship yet. Just be patient and see how things go ... you got to know what happened to him during the period he did not contacted you. Well, maybe he is too sad to contact both of you but also maybe he has found someone. Anyway, just catch up and see how things go. Tell him you need more time and see how is his reaction. Good luck.

Answer 3

If you want to avoid going through some more sleepless nights stay away from her. Come on!! How can a 26 year old be told to stay away from you? That right there does not sound right to me. It sounds like an excuse she made up to get away from you. Sorry but I am just being honest.

Answer 4

Yea i think it's a great idea if you two saw each other again.

And you never know. i've heard soooo many stories where the widow marries her husbands best friend...

Answer 5

let him come and visit you just lay down the law ahead of time about how you feel and dont give him any mixed signals