I'm 23 and i wanted to save my virginity till i was married, well when i was 18 i meet this girl, and we dated for 3 years and was on the path to marriage and we decided 2 have sex, so we did and it became a regular habit...I was like a kid in a candy store, well come to find out she was cheating on me with my so called best friend so we parted, it took me a long time to move on and i finally did and meet this girl that was super hot, we had sex a couple of times, but then i started having problems getting it up, and when i did, in the middle of sex it would go down. I thought it would be sensitivity problems but we tried a couple of times without it and i was able to keep it up one time, other times it went limp again. Since i didn't ever sleep with more than 1 girl do you think it's my mind, worryin about performance and satisfying the girl? I even tried a 100mg viagra, and it stayed hard, but it wasn't a good hard on, like lately i've been havin like 6" erections, when the norm is 8
2007-12-31 08:41:18 · 10 answers · asked by Jeff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was skeptical about posting a problem like that, for the ones that helped me, thanks, it means alot to hear other peoples input that can relate, for the one with the a$$hole comment, get a life
2007-12-31 08:51:16 · update #1
Jeff, if you're having issues with sexual performance that appear to be physical, see your doctor. He can give you a better look-see and advice than we can.
2007-12-31 08:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by Stuart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Mate! Yeah,
I think too that it is in your mind, worrying about performance can do that, and unfortunately if you had the problem once during sex , you are probably even more nervous the next time, and it might get worse and worse.
Try to take it easy!! And if that not helps, go to a therapist, like someone else told here. There is nothing wrong with going to a therapist, I am sure most of us could use one, lol.
2007-12-31 16:54:27 · answer #2 · answered by Terry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this new girl is not turning you on like the other one - it has nothing to do with your past relationship - its just in your head - do this for me - stop having sex for exactly 7 days and then hook up with your girl - that will fix you
peace brother
2007-12-31 16:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its definitely your head screwing you up. You have to get out of your head, maybe have some drinks to loosen up?? Try to better your other skills, either oral or using fingers or toys always works whenever "Mr Happy" wont work for me. Try to please her first, then once she is happy, make yourself happy. If that doesn't work, relax, then try again later, just whatever you do try not to dwell on the fact that you might go limp, because it will if you think about it so much, and just ruin everything for her and you.
2007-12-31 16:49:37 · answer #4 · answered by davessac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right then, well yes it sounds to me like you are over thinking it. And what the heck are you doing taking Viagra? Your young man, don't even touch that stuff until you absolutely need to. I know you made a big deal about sex, but really your past the point where god or whatever was stopping you before was hindering you. Best advice is turn your brain off. It's very animalistic, but for god sakes your a man, and trust me, you will do more harm with the limp unit then anything else. So turn off that brain and enjoy yourself. Hope this helps.
-Ty
2007-12-31 16:48:53 · answer #5 · answered by Tyler C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that sex comes from the mind, so you should make sure you are over this girl, i know how you feel. I was with this guy for 5yrs and well he was the only one i ever had sex with. When i finally had sex with another guy it just wasn't the same. Make sure your not comparing your ex with the new one, matter of fact just don't think of the ex. Enjoy the whole chemistry with this new person and nothing else.
2007-12-31 16:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by mic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems that it may be mental, maybe you don't feel the true connection you need, now that the new has wore off, your mind drifts back to the first girl, and worry and fear, will put you down for the count. find the root of the problem, meditate on it, and you'll see that you already know.
2007-12-31 16:47:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, I hear you loud and clear. Just be forewarned, you're going to get a lot of snide answers by the numerous snide women on this website.
Don't listen to them. They're good for speaking in code, not about male anatomy. At any rate, I can identify with you. I think it's performance anxiety and it's ok. I am sorry that girl of yours screwed you over with your so called ex-best friend (hope he's an ex-best friend). Apparently, things like this are more common than we think or would hope.......
My advice, and please don't be offended, is that you see a therapist. I'm only 4 years older than you and I've had those same problems at 23 too.....Don't let it get you down and that's admirable you have the courage to speak out about it.
Good luck!
2007-12-31 16:46:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably still hurt from her cheating on you. But you might be developing E.D. Still, abstinence is the best policy, that's what I always say. If I were you, I'd quit, and you'd have nothing to worry about.
2007-12-31 16:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why r u telling us this?
2007-12-31 16:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋