This has been bothering me since it happened at my boyfriend's family's Christmas party on Christmas Eve.
My bf and I have been dating for almost 2 years and I know his family well. He has one aunt who is very annoying and extremely nosey (we'll call her Aunt P).
At the Christmas party, the cousins pass around an adorable family picture taken the day before. At this, someone gets the idea that the grandparents should have their picture taken with my bf's family. Since my bf and I are only dating, I decided to stay seated while they were all getting situated for their picture (I'm not in the family yet, lol!). My bf's stepmother and his SIL thought I should be included. I protested, but they insisted (as did my bf). We took a few pictures and afterwards, not to my surprise, Aunt P looked at my bf and said "Oh, [bf's name], you didn't tell me y'all were engaged! Have you set a date yet?" loud enough for the entire family to hear. She knew perfectly well that we aren't engaged and simply wanted to show her disapproval of me being in the family picture. This may have been bad on my part, but I shot her my infamous “look” (as my mother calls it), held up my left hand, and said “Do you see something I don’t?!?”. She didn’t say anything else.
Looking back, I probably could’ve handled this better. What would you have done?
2007-12-31 07:51:47 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just to clarify: my bf and I hate the whole "When are you getting married?" deal and anyone who knows us knows this and that we're waiting until I'm out of college.
2007-12-31 08:01:50 · update #1
LOL, it definitely makes me feel better that so many of you would've done what I did!
2007-12-31 08:21:34 · update #2
I'm a guy, but honestly, if I were in your shoes I probably would have responded similarly. That definitely was rude of Aunt P. if she knew you and your bf aren't engaged. I see it as very confrontation on her part. I think you were simply defending yourself from her rudeness. I tend to either shy away from loud, obnoxious people in situations like that or I give it back to them rudely as you did. Since you were simply defending yourself though, I do no see it as completley uncalled for or innapropriate. Take some peace in knowing SHE was the antagonist and you simply defended yourself from her rude attack.
2007-12-31 07:59:59 · answer #1 · answered by palebeachbum 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dude, that was a great response. I can't think of a better way to handle it. I have been in situations like that and wish I had responded the way you did.
2007-12-31 09:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by julz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have definitely shot her the look, but I would have just said "Aunt P, you know we're not engaged, why would you say something like that?", very sweetly and let her continue to look stupid. Everyone there knows her and how she is, it's really not even worth getting upset about, especially since that's exactly what she wanted in the first place.
2007-12-31 09:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by bainaashanti 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Me I,am not known for my surtitly i would have said i think you need a new Cristal ball because yours is busted ! then i would have said with predictions like that one don,t give up your day job or you will go broke !
2007-12-31 08:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by david f 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I noticed that you judged her motivation...saying she was expressing her disapproval of your being in the picture. How do you know this is true? She may have had no opinion at all about your being in the pic..she may be behind the power curve and not be up to date on your relationship. This may have been an innocent question which you took out of proportion. Finally, since this question was NOT DIRECTED TO YOU, a response FROM YOU was unnecessary. Can your bf not speak for himself? If this is the case, you may think long and hard about an engagement. May I suggest you LIGHTEN UP?????
2007-12-31 08:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara A 5 · 1⤊ 5⤋
LOL girl, you made me LMAO with your response!!!!!!!
Your "lovely" Aunt P earned it....... no doubt about it. I don't mess with people unless they mess with me first, so I'd probably have done the same if she had attacked me and for no reason. I'm glad you got back at her this way. I'd probably have also answered something like "Oh yeah, we've already set a date...... it'll be in like 10 years from now, we'll let you know and send you the invite then".......... she'd have shut up too with that one. But don't feel bad, I personally think that we have no obligation to be nice and considerate with people who are MEAN to us.
2007-12-31 08:18:03 · answer #6 · answered by Lprod 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did better than I would of. Some people like to see how far they can go and when you finally speak up it becomes a different story.
2007-12-31 08:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by cslim444 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Exact same thing you done.You was in the right and get used to this when and if you do get engaged and inter into this family.Always speak your Mind,you can do it a respectful way and still get the point across.
Happy New Year!
2007-12-31 08:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Dew 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you handled it well. I may have looked at your boyfriend and asked if there was something he wanted to ask me. That would have taken the heat off you and put it on him.
2007-12-31 08:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have just ignored her. Ever think she might have been trying to help you out? Maybe she was trying to encourage your boyfriend to pop the question?
2007-12-31 07:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋