my husband for financial help after all these years of no communication. The father has missed all of his grandchild's milestones and all of our family's milestones.
I'm really torn about this because as the Bible tells us to honor our father and mother, but a large part of me feels they should honor their children, too. The father's choice to cut himself out of my husband's (and our family's) life has really put us in a bad place now when he needs help. Incidentally, the JW siblings have chosen to follow their father's lead, but they're not coming through with the cash.
Christians, help me see this as Christ would, please.
2007-12-31 07:49:27 · 24 answers · asked by PediC 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You should help. If it weren't for your father-in-law, your husband wouldn't exist to be in your life at all, and then you wouldn't have your children. No matter how he's acted, that's a fact. But I wouldn't help so much that I robbed from my children, because your responsibility to them is greater.
Also, maybe your husband could help his father see how much the past 20 years have cost all of you. Whether he responds or not, your husband will never have the guilt of wondering, "Should I have helped my dad?" Perhaps this could become an opportunity for your husband and his dad to put things right before it is too late. I believe Christ would be pleased that you attempted reconciliation, even if the other party refused to reconcile.
2007-12-31 08:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Christian thing to do is to forgive and to love. By your example of Christian living, by helping your father-in-law in his time of need, you will show up the JW siblings for what they are. Do not judge. Just do the right thing and in this, you bring glory to God and to Christ. And who knows how the Holy Spirit might be working in his life, after all these years?
I, too, have seen this disgraceful behaviour in my own family of JW's who cling to the high moral ground, looking down their noses at us, yet fail to take care of their ageing parents. Will they speak to us? No. Will they allow us to pay for essential help and run round cleaning and caring? Yes.
But you can be a shining example - salt and light. Let the Holy Spirit help you in this.
2008-01-01 04:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
This saddens me. I know Jesus said that because of Him, we'd have enemies within our own households. But Jesus also taught us to love our enemies, help the poor, show mercy...unlike the heathen!
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat;
And if he is thirsty, give him water to drink;
For so you will heap coals of fire on his head,
And the LORD will reward you. Prov. 25:21-22
We are to kill with kindness. This isn't always easy, but it honors God and that is all we are called to do. You might just win him over! God want's all to come to repentance! In doing so you'll be rewarded...if not in this life, definitely the next!
Glad to have you back as a contact Pedi!
2008-01-01 18:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
MEND THE RELATIONSHIP FIRST
then consider helping him
2007-12-31 08:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by slopoke6968 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
At least he's still alive. Imagine if the first contact was when your husband was the only one left to pay for a funeral?
You can't "get back" those lost years. You can only make the best of what you have now. Please stand by your husband in supporting the old man, no matter how he behaved -- or even continues to behave. Rise above it. (And what better testimony for "apostates" than this positive, meaningful action?)
Suzanne
Edit: Actually, I'm reminded that JW's advise their members to go to family -- even "worldly" family -- as a proper resource in times of need. It would be interesting to see whether he was advised to do so as well...
2007-12-31 08:09:26 · answer #5 · answered by Suzanne 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Why was your husband shunned?
2007-12-31 08:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let me put it like this ... what do you think Jesus would do?
Even after the pharisees' shunning, cursing, and persecuting Him, do you think He still wanted to help them? Do you think He would neglect to help them if they were to sincerely ask for help?
What about Judas? It broke Jesus' heart. He knew this man. Spent the better half of three years with him and he shuns and betrays him. But Jesus did not resent or hate him.
How about Peter? Here was a man that was supposed to be one of Jesus' closest disciples. When Peter denied Christ, did He hold it against Peter? No, He didn't. In fact, He "reinstated" Peter.
As far as your husband's father, I believe that you and your husband should pray about what you can do to help him, be it financially, spiritually, or however else. If you feel the LORD leading you to something, then in obedience, do it. The LORD will not only bless you for doing so, but your Jewish father-in-law may see the error of his ways and may see the love of Christ in you and your family. I'm not saying that you should put yourself in serious debt for him, but whatever you feel the LORD lays on your heart, I think you should do.
Just think about the great turn around that Peter made. He denied Christ and then after Jesus' resurrection and ascension and the Holy Spirit's manifestation in the upper room, he boldly professed the gospel of Christ and thousands were saved as a result. Wouldn't it be something if the same thing happened with your father-in-law in result to your prayer and obedience in this situation?
Pastor Jesse
2007-12-31 08:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is REALLY hard.
The human side of me wants to say forget it -- he can't be hateful for 20 years and then expect you to support him because he's strapped for cash. Shunning your husband for 20 years because he left JWs is spiritual abuse of the worst kind.
Here's what I feel is the spiritual and responsible thing to do. Tell the father you will help him, but only if he cooperates. WITH the father, call a family meeting of ALL the siblings. Tell them that it is being called by the father, to discuss his financial difficulties.
At the meeting, ALL the sibling should be held accountable and asked what they are (not if they are) going to contribute to help the father. Have everyone put it in writing.
They may not want to do anything. You'll have to live with that, I guess.
Ultimately, it will benefit both you and your husband to forgive and help out a little, because you will know in your hearts that you honored Jesus by doing so. But you could also just help him to find resources, like another answerer posted. Call 2-1-1 for the United Way.
That being said, though, from his past behavior, it is clear that the father is manipulative and abusive, and you both must set some very clear boundaries for him about how you will and will not allow him to treat you in the future. For instance, I would tell him in no uncertain terms that he will not be allowed to share his religious beliefs with your children.
2007-12-31 07:59:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow that is a tough one P. It is my belief that a parent can "tear up a parenting Contract" so to speak. It is always the case in abuse. there is no more obligation to the parent, such as in my case.
There are 2 issues here..Your father in law breaking JW law to associate with his son, and the reality that JW's give all of their extra resources to the society so that they are in financial despair when Armageddon doesn't show up at the appointed time.
What are the chances that if you help out financially, that they will walk away from you guys again.
If I were to give advice, it would be, that sometimes God brings us to our knees to make us rely on him. Maybe this is what is happening with your father in law. I would wait on the Lord...
Edit: If my father came to me for help...I would decline....You know why , so I do not have to explain why...If my mother came to me for help. I would help. I still would not want to have much contact with her, but I would make sure that she had provisions for food an shelter. If My father and my mother both came to me for help, I would also decline..I can not keep him from accepting the consequences of his violent sexual abuse to me. If she is with him, then so be it.
See what happens when Armageddon is falsely prophesied?! No savings...this will be a common question in the near future.
Edit2: Our church has a benevolence fund....Those who contribute over the years would be helped by the church that they support...How about the Kigdom Hall....nevermind
I am also the wealthiest in my family...this may be an issue for me some day as well...
Ishvarlain......from your postings, you seem to be more centered and accepting than the average witness....I will keep you in my prayers.
2007-12-31 07:58:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
What a challenge. The main thing is to see what YAHOSHUA would have you do here. I am not wise enough. If you can easily afford it, "turning the other cheek" and giving him the money might lead to a total repentance and conversion. A soul is cheap at any price. It would be ironic, that his being mean to you for 20 years, and hurting himself thereby, might bring him salvation through your ministering to him in spite of himself!
2007-12-31 07:55:57 · answer #10 · answered by hasse_john 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋