Doesn't homeschooling harm a kid's social development?

Question

Although the education level that you can provide to your kid at home may be better than our abysmal public school system, aren't you harming your kid's social development by keeping him or her away from other kids? It's important for kids to learn how to interact with other people, especially those their own age. Depression could also be a problem if you are being forced to learn with only your tutor/family around you. When kids hit college, I have a feeling that they will be socially inept and awkward, which could be harmful and uncomfortable for them.

Although the education level that you can provide to your kid at home may be better than our abysmal public school system, aren't you harming your kid's social development by keeping him or her away from other kids? It's important for kids to learn how to interact with other people, especially those their own age. Depression could also be a problem if you are being forced to learn with only your tutor/family around you. When kids hit college, I have a feeling that they will be socially inept and awkward, which could be harmful and uncomfortable for them.

Edit: Ok; maybe I underestimated how bad the public school social world is. I was lucky to attend a private school with affluent and intelligent individuals, where drug use was drinks over dinner or a cigar for the new year. I attended on scholarship, but my friends were very accepting. As for the guy who says that Muslim parents wouldn't bring home a Jewish kid, you are a sorry human being. I am Jewish and had close Muslim friends.

Answer 1

Homeschooled kids are always under parent's thumb or control. When they get out of range of that control...Yahoo!!!
They go out of control, having not learned to develop control of their own, & make decisions on there own,& suffer consequences. Same goes for religous schools. Also kid's have to learn to make decisions & decide who to hang with, who is risky etc.

Answer 2

6

Answer 3

~I have had at least four professors in college comment/thank me for my willingness to speak up in class and lead group discussions.
~I had trouble finding time to actually do my school 'work' at home during my high school years because I was always involved with so many activities such as:
~Violin-taking lessons, orchestra, teaching lessons, group lessons
~Piano -taking lessons, teaching lessons
~Classes - at the community college
~Classes - taught by other homschool parents
~Ballet - three classes a week
~Campainging - phonebanking, office work, door-to-door work
~Art classes
~Sports
~Hanging out with homschool friends
~Hanging out with public school friends (who, by the way never had much free time because they either had to much homework, or were involved in sports)
Now, I know I had trouble getting school work done sometimes because I was always so busy, but I wouldn't call that 'harming' my social development. I have found that at college I hang out with other homeschoolers or foreign students because kids that were publicly educated are way too worried about what others think of them. They are too self conscious which takes the fun out of their company. I have never haerd of a homeschooler with depression, but I know many of my (public school) violin students are being treated for 'behavior' or depressions problems. And these kids are in middle school. It's very sad. In the end, I am glad I was homeschooled and did not have do deal with all the crap-sorry, 'socialization' issues that kids face. Am I worried that I won't know what to do if I am bullied or offered drugs? Nope. I am an adult. I don't need that D.A.R.E. program to help me in the real world.

Answer 4

People who home school their children always say they are doing it the right way, their children are completely socialized, and on and on. I can tell you from my personal experience attending church most of my life and teaching Sunday School that home schooled children, absolutely without exception, have poor social skills and less self-confidence than kids who go to public school. They are also dumber. Parents who say their kids are an exception are delusional, and in my opinion home schooling is its own little religious cult. I don't even talk to the women at church who home school anymore, I feel that strongly about it.

Answer 5

No. Homeschooled kids actually DO get to interact with other kids!!! We live in these places called neighborhoods... and neighborhoods are filled with (gasp!) people!

Many homeschoolers also go to church, are involved in Scouts, take classes at community centers, go to boys and girls clubs, have homeschool co-op classes, play sports, take swimming lessons....etc. etc. etc.

Answer 6

I have had the privlege of experiencing many different forms of our education system. I started school in an extremely small-town public school (one class per grade until 10th grade), then went to an extremely small-minded larger public school. I suffered depression, IBS, ulcers, suicidal thoughts, and major rejection from peers. All this before I was in 10th grade. My very social sister had manic depression and bi-polar. I became homeschooled in 10th grade. I worked a job, bought a car, wrote and directed for a Christian drama team, founded and wrote for a church youth newsletter, and began taking college classes. My sister's moods leveled, her grades increased, she worked at the local movie theatre, and managed the youth coffee shop at our church. At 16, I became a full-time college student working in the theatre department and becoming a member of an all-state college bowl team. By 20, I was the youngest student teacher in the history of my college when I started teaching drama at a preppy public school in a large city. After college, I taught in a medium-sized private Christian school, then a city public school, and now in a public alternative school. I've seen kids of every social status, intelligence, and lifestyle. And I've dealt beautifully with them all. I never lacked for experiences to help them. Any of them. I was never social inept for my classes or my superiors. In fact, had I not been homeschooled, I am sure my life would have turned out very diffferent and I am quite happy with how it is. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but neither is public school or private scool. Each kid is different. It's unfair to stereotype any kid for any reason. How's my social ability?

Answer 7

No

Parents can if they're xeonophobic or agorophobic

If you're a Jehovah's Witness or Mormon you are advised NOT to hang around those who aren't and parents will tell you that and won't let outsiders come over even if you go to school and you can't talk about the nice Jewish and Catholic freinds you have at school because they aren't Mormons or Jehovah's Witnesses and you aren't allowed to go to the mall.

This Persian girl I knew who was 22, wasn't allowed to go on a date with a boy without her 25 year old brother in the back seat.

OK, so those people won't get socialized in or out of school.

That's kind of too bad, but we don't take kids away form homes that are restrictive.

If your family is Atheist, I'm sure they don't want you bringing home a Born Again for dinner.

If your family is Islamic, I'm sure they don't want you bringing home a Jewish friend from school to watch TV.

HOMESCHOOL doesn't hurt socilization PARENTS and EXTREMIST RELIGIONS (including Atheism) DOES

And they have a God Given right to live life as they choose and associate with whom they want to.

Now if a KID violated parental or religious rules AT school they are considered a RENEGADE or a DELIONQUANT

When Johnny or Susan starts running around with the Goths and the Dopers and the Head Bangers, that's when mommy and daddy take them out of the school and homeschool them.

OR DO YOU APPROVE OF TEENAGE PREGNANCY, BEER BONGING AND DRUG USE!

When the POLICe call a nice Catholic family to come and get their 13 year old daughter who was found at a Pot party naked in bed with a 17 year old senior from school, that will be her last day in PUBLIC SCHOOL

And I used to work for LAPD and I can't begin to tell you how many hundreds of 13 year old naked girls got bused with 19, 20, 21 year old men at pot parties.

We used to haul in 30-40 a Friday just in Van Nuys

And that is your SCHOOL SOCILIZATION with the Jocks, the Prepps, the Goths, the Nerds, the Brains, the Druggies, the Punkers, the Metal Heads the gang bangers.

FACT the average homeschoolers is 1-3 grades ahead of brick schoolers

FACT the average age of homeschoolers going to college is 17 with many of them 16.

FACT many get into colleges like Stanford, Yale, UCLA

FACT many kids here in the PUBLIC SCHOOL section moan about bullies

They won't take classes because of bullies.

That's a FACT

SOCIALIZATION HURTS education

This is a PROVEN FACT

You are in school to LEARN not to make dates and chat.

When Public Schools go ALL GIRL grades IMPROVE by 35%

Remove BOYS from the school and GIRL'S GRADES go up with in one year.

Institute a UNIFORM and grades go up with in 1 year.

It is the Goth, Nerd, Brain, Jocks, Cheerleader factions that are hurting education.

REMOVE theose elemetns, break them up or supress them and GRADES ALWAYS GO UP

This is a PROVEN FACT

The US HEW will verify it.

Answer 8

Why would you think that homeschooled kids don't have a social life? Why would you think that they aren't around other kids?

My son has more of a social life now than when he was in school...and he's around kids that don't expect him to be exactly like them. He's around kids of all ages, high schoolers, adults, and seniors...and he knows how to interact with all of them.

He interacts just fine with kids his age in baseball, church, and Scouts...these all happen on a weekly basis (at least). He also interacts with kids of all ages on field trips and at co op.

He interacts with adults at the library, at the store, the post office, church, the park, and everywhere else we go. Because he isn't limited to a classroom with kids his own age, from within 1-2 square miles of him, he is free to actually be out in society. Because he is able to get all of his work done during the day, he is free to actually have a childhood and interact socially after school. Most kids his age aren't.

You seem to have a really limited view of homeschooling. It doesn't mean that kids are chained to a computer or the kitchen table all day, only seeing their family...it means that they and their parents are responsible for their education and can take advantage of whatever resources and opportunities are right for them. They take group lessons, they volunteer, they shadow professionals (one of my high school students is shadowing doctors at a local hospital 3-4 times a week), and they organize and take part in community programs.

Because they are not trained to think inside the box and be just like everyone around them, they tend to be much more indepedent and comfortable at college. Many homeschooled high schoolers graduate with their AA...meaning they've already taken 2 years of college by the time they get there "for real". There's a reason that colleges openly recruit homeschooled students...they tend to be better students, more socially aware, and less likely to get trapped into the keg scene.

Of course, if by "socially inept" you mean that they're not normally drawn into the rush and haze scene, you're right. That's called "socially responsible and mature", though.

Answer 9

"Doesn't homeschooling harm a kid's social development?"

Nope. Not homeschooling in itself. Perhaps how some parents go about it, but most homeschooling parents are quite aware of the need for social time.

Besides, public/private schooling does not in any way guarantee proper social development. If that were the case, we would have a socially perfect society.

"Aren't you harming your kid's social development by keeping him or her away from other kids?"

I don't keep my kids away from other kids. Most homeschooling parents don't. We just haven't bought into the notion that it's necessary and beneficial to have kids grow up with what is the equivalent of 20-30 same-age siblings.

"It's important for kids to learn how to interact with other people..." I wholeheartedly agree

"...especially those their own age." With this, I disagree. What difference does it make how old they are? As an adult, I don't go around finding people my age to interact with. If you see people as people, their age means nothing and you learn how to interact with them. My kids get the benefit of living the kind of social variety now that they will have as adults.


"Depression could also be a problem if you are being forced to learn with only your tutor/family around you."

There are some serious problems with this assertion. First of all, depression can come from anywhere. To tie it to homeschooling, just because it's homeschooling, is totally irrational. Second, it assumes that homeschooled kids are being forced to homeschool. The vast majority of homeschooled kids I know enjoy homeschooling and don't want to go to public school. Of the few who didn't like homeschooling, most were allowed to go to school. None developed depression. Third, you make the assumption that homeschooled students are locked up in their houses all the time, which is just nonsense.

"When kids hit college, I have a feeling that they will be socially inept and awkward, which could be harmful and uncomfortable for them."

Feelings don't do much in terms of truth and proof. Are there homeschooled students who are awkward and inept when they go to college? Yes. Are there public schooled students who are awkward and inept? Yes. There have been plenty of accounts of previously homeschooled students who did just fine in college. Your "feelings" are not based on any proper logic because they are based on the premise that homeschooled students never get out, which is not true.

ADDED: What does the state of the public school system have to do with your incorrect notion that homeschooled students don't do things with other people? Or that they're somehow more prone to being depressed?

Answer 10

No.

For the thousandth time, No.

I'm 15, home educated, surrounded by brothers, sisters, cousins, nieces, nephews, friends, the children of my parents' employees, the children of neighbours (and their employees' kids); I have jobs that bring me into contact with people of all ages from 0 - 100; I belong to Venturers, CCF, Pony Club and Young Farmers (as well as Heart Kids!); I take part in various sports (right up to state level); I go to camp; I help teach swimming to the kindy kids at their swim camp; I go to parties, dances, rages, rodeos, numerous other community events.....

Surprisingly, being home-educated in 2007 does not mean staying at home and learning with only your govie/family and the same four walls for company!

(Try actually researching your question a little [instead of going with opinion and dated, tired stereotypes] and you'll find that, all too often, it is school which damages a child's social development.)

Answer 11

If you really want to know the answer to this question, read the article to which I link. It is from the Stanford Alumni website.

Read and you will have no doubt that the whole "harm a kid's social development" is a complete fabrication, myth, stereotype, misconception...

Still not convinced? Read the two articles that follow the first.

Plus, where do you get the idea that kids are "kept away from other kids?" That is a silly notion and entirely false.