is it possible to fix this?

Question

i recently found out i am a compulsive liar. it has ruined my relationship to hell. i care about my boyfriend more than anything in the entire world but i know if i keep lying; things wont ever work out. I WANT TO CHANGE and quit lying. he always knows the truth about everything. someone please tell me what i can do to change.

just so you know compulsive lying is lying out of habit. sometimes i dont even know im lying. because im so unsure of what the truth really is.

Answer 1

well whenever you get the urge to lie, just stop yourself and sit down and talk to yourself or write out why you feel that way and all the things associated with it...keep like a journal to konw what feelings you associate with the need to lie...this will take some time especially if you do it on your own (which can be done) but a therapist may help expedite the process...good luck

Answer 2

Is there a large thing in your life that feels out of control to you?
(Say an alcoholic parent, or parents who argue & separate, something that embarrassed you deeply and you are trying to cover, homelessness) These sorts of things can be a situational set-up where you might fall into the habit of telling lies -- trying to come across as if nothing is wrong.

Consider working with a Counselor/Therapist toward working internally on your issues. Then with friends as accountability partners you will have the freedom to learn to "tell it like it is" and not as you "wish it was"

Another possibility -- people with memory problems, like having "missing time" or "holes in their memory", amnesia or dissociative disorders -- they will frequently have problems with "truth telling". These people internally sense something is missing, but don't want to admit it even to themselves. They can become so accustomed to filling in the blank time that they do not even realized they have lied.
This is something that needs to be addressed with a Psychologist / Psychiatrist. You may also need to work with a marriage counselor, as it is extremely disruptive to home and relationships.

Answer 3

how do i know you aren't lying about lying..sounds like you are afraid of what will happen if you tell the truth..i have known people like this and it really takes practice to not lie about the smallest things..just think of all the results you have to deal with when you lie..one lie leads to another then another..it is a vicious circle. try real hard to tell the truth..you wil feel much better.