Ive cut ties with this person, but was I being mentally abused?? what should I do now?

Question

I feel physically sick every time I see his car and also a little frightened. If I do somthing a little wrong he goes moody and wont talk to me, but if some one comes over he acts normal. We are not going out and he is alot older than me,(im talking 50 years) when we went out for a meal with a large group of friends, I discovered my pop tasted different he admitted putting alchol in my drink, but only admitted when we were alone. He was also winking at me across the table. when I go and see a few friends for an hour or so without working he finds excuses to get angry and start on me. Im constantly looking over my shoulder and cant have fun, I have to ask him what I can do and when can I do it. he takes me places and buys me things, he acts like a grandfather but I think its not as innocent as I would like to believe. Ive also found out that when he talks of me he calls me 'my teenager'. word got out on how he treats me and he doesnt know why people are acting different

Answer 1

Be glad you cut ties to this person. You were definately being abused. There are different types of abuse while yours was not the physical abuse, it was still abuse (phsycological and possibly even verbal). If you need to put a restraining order against him, don't be afraid. If he knows you are afraid, he knows he's still in control of your emotions. My ex-husband was like that to me too. I couldn't do anything at all without his permission. I was 15 when I married him, so he treated me like I was his kid instead of his wife. Don't have any regrets and don't be afraid. You've taken the first step to your freedom so now sit back, relax and enjoy it. I am. I was married to my ex for almost 11 yrs. Can you believe I took the abuse that long? During our marriage he openly cheated on me 5 x, and the last time was with my so-called best friend. That's when I said no more, this is crap! I got strong and left! He begged me to come back and I stood my ground. He had no choice but to divorce me, and I made sure he paid the entire cost of it, as well as I kept all the furniture, dishes, appliances, etc. he stayed with the home we "rented". I had the last laugh! Email me, if you need moral support, I'll be there for you if you need someone to talk to.

Answer 2

If he's not a family member, which you say he's not, I'd say cut all ties. But you don't say what your relation is, so it's hard for me to give you advice on where to go from here. I'm guessing he's a teacher, coach, or religious leader. Anyway, it sounds like he's kind of hitting on you, or trying to, and if he is, he has major problems. Have you thought about telling the authorities? Also, you might want to get counseling to explore why you get into these situations, and how you can avoid them in the future. I'm a real weirdo magnet myself, and I'm thinking about doing something like that. Oh, and whatever you do, stop going to places with him and letting him buy you things. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes you were being emotionally and mentally abused. I'm not sure I understand, You no longer see him? I hope not, because often women can't see their way out of relationships like this. However if you are seeing him, at all, stop it. The way you react to his bs is not healthy and it will only get worse. Take it from one who knows!
peace