this weekend my stepdaughter was in town from tenn. so we arranged to have a bbq so everyone could see her before she left again. the bbq was scheduled for 330pm. some people came on time but a group of people including my mother in law, sister in law (whose child had been at my house for almost two days without hearing a word from her or being able to get in touch with her), her significant other and their friend who i have never laid eyes on, came strolling in my house after nine oclock! meanwhile, im trying to get my two year old in the bed while 3 other kids bounce around and adults talk as loud as they please. they could have called and said we are swinging by later and that would have been fine but we heard nothing all day long. when they finally did come they didnt visit with my stepdaughter at all which was really the main reason for the gathering. i though this was so inconsiderate! was i being too uptight or was this rude?!
2007-12-31 04:41:20 · 17 answers · asked by me 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Rude. Unfortunately in this world we live in today people are more concerned with what is happening in their own little world than what they might disrupt in someone elses.
2007-12-31 04:46:19 · answer #1 · answered by prettylade 5 · 8⤊ 0⤋
You should let them know that what they did was rude, a phone call would have been the proper way for them to do what they did. You are not uptight on this, if you don't discuss it with them, just know that they were the rude ones and next time ask them to reply when and if they will come.
2007-12-31 07:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was rude of them. Did they offer any excuse as to why they showed up so late? hmmm...
I think its especially rude to showup so late at night - after 9pm? I don't even take phone calls after 9pm unless its an emergency. And what's up with your mother-in-law, who I assume is your step-daughter's grandmother, and the sister-in-law, who is her aunt? Are they that thoughtless that they couldn't come over earlier to spend time with their granddaughter/niece. Super rude! and too bad for your step-daughter!
Anyway - since its your husband's family that has been so rude - I would let him handle it. He should have stepped up and told his mother, sister & friends that the party was over and they should leave. But since he didn't then its too late now to say anything without seeming just as rude.
However - next time you decide to have a party, to which they are invited, make sure your husband lets them know that the party is from, say, 3-8pm and noone is welcome to stop by after the party is done.
You sound like a very nice step-mom and I hope you have a very happy new year!
2007-12-31 06:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by Mirage 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They were very rude.
2007-12-31 06:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was rude
2007-12-31 05:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by Nämenlos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this was very inconsiderate and rude. You are justified to have hurt feelings and feel upset. However, I recommend that rather than continue to dwell on the situation seek a way to resolve it. Thinking about it again and again will only perpetuate and intensify the anger that you're feeling. Anger in and of itself is not always a bad thing. There is such a thing as righteous anger. In this situation your anger may be justified as it was initially provoked by a lack of concern for the "preservation", or well being of your family unit. But don't wait too long to act upon the anger that your experiencing. Anger can be a healthy feeling used to motivate us into action that promotes the well being of ourselves and others, and should be used as a catalyst for us to seek out to resolve situations to the best of our ability (as mentioned before..this is "righteous" anger). But anger can also turn into a self serving destructive force if it is not acted upon in a timely manner (this is what is often referred to as bitterness). In this situation you need to use your anger to motivate you to act in several positive ways.
Firstly, discuss this situation with your sister in law, and let her know how it disrupted the well being of your family. Establish boundaries with her to follow in the future. (eg. let her know that late night visits are generally not appropriate and explain to her when why etc..) As you do this explain to her the expectations you had for the evening. Often we become very upset when we think we have communicated to others our expectations and they have not met them. However, often when discussing with others how they have failed to meet up to our expectations we find that we may not have communicated our expectaions as clearly as we had though.
Secondly, work to resolve the distance this situation has caused in your relationship with you and your sister in law. If there's any other problems that you have with her, (and I suspect that there are) now is not the time to deal with them. Bombarding her with all of your frustrations that you have against her will only entice a defensive response. Approach just this situation for now, and do so in a kind and loving manner. (You'll be surprised as how effective this will be.) I hope this Helps! And Good luck. Sorry your event turned out to be a disappointment. But use this time to grow as a person. Take care!
2007-12-31 05:32:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Very rude to show up 6 hours after the time you indicated and not even call in advance. Families do tend to take liberties though.
2007-12-31 05:03:46 · answer #7 · answered by Bears Mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are being rude. You are not uptight. If they had more respect for your household they wouldn't act that way.
Start stirring the pot and ask your husband to take care of it. He might not do anything for a while but he needs to be a man about this and not a momma's boy.
2007-12-31 04:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by Keith S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it was very rude
2007-12-31 04:55:44 · answer #9 · answered by had2laugh01 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Rude. People shouldn't show up at your house late at that without calling ahead of time and letting you know that they are doing so.
2007-12-31 04:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by Your Love Is One In A Million It goes On 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋