My boyfriend and I role play alot and he's told me on more than one occasion how his 1st time was some what an accident like they were just kissing and bam it slid in (not trying to be graphic here) anyway, so one stupid day i decide I wanted to know how it happened so i said show me........ and he did, but he was saying everything that was going through his head his 1st time and he kept saying "she" and "her" and was totally fantasizing about her..... we've had issues with this girl before, in the beginning of our relationship all of his friends warned me that he was still in love with her and blah blah we're past that now. But after that night I haven't been wanting his affection and I can't give him any........ I feel used almost I feel disgusting. What should I do? Should I tell him how I feel even though I allowed it?
2007-12-31 04:11:47 · 32 answers · asked by Daizy C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He kept saying "i think this means we're in love" i think we're falling in love" about her
2007-12-31 04:20:14 · update #1
Role playing is not just fantasy. Everything we do, every story we tell and myth we believe is mediated by us, as individuals. If you want to role play it is important to talk about it, to create boundaries, and even to discuss why you like doing a particular scene and what it is about it that turns you on. Otherwise, something that just seems like fun can come back to you in quite serious ways, like in your situation. If you and your boyfriend are close enough to use role play in your sex life, then you should be close enough to talk about it, even after the event.
2007-12-31 04:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing I want to say is...
There is no such thing as sex happening "by accident." Sex is something you do on purpose. Period. Maybe one does not intend to go "all the way" and gets carried away, but that is still not an accident.
Having said that...
2007-12-31 04:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Why's the rum gone? ☺☮♥ ツ♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely tell him how you feel. Never keep your feelings inside because it isn't fair to you or the other person. You are allowed to regret doing something. Don't feel stupid about it because you aren't. We live and learn. Tell him exactly how this has made you feel now towards him. Reassure him that you still care and want to be with him. You guys will probably have to slow down with the "exotic" sex for a while and go back to the basics (simple intimacy...kissing, holding, hugging, etc.) I wish you luck!
2007-12-31 04:20:38 · answer #3 · answered by rennydapooh78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like this relationship is all but over. He can't get past her and you can't take a man with his mind on someone else. What do you really think you should do? That is the answer that really counts.
2007-12-31 04:20:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it must have felt as if there were three of you in the bed that day, huh? I believe it would be best if you would talk to your boyfriend about the situtation, how it made you feel and that you feel that he has some unresolved issues with his ex that he needs to work out.
If you don't feel like being affectionate with him, then that is how you feel and you should not feel guilty or disgusting about that one bit. You might have agreed to the role playing, but you couldn't have known how it would turn out ahead of time and you are entitled to your feelings.
I wish you luck with this. Sometimes it is difficult to talk about these things with the person you are with. If he cannot confront his feelings and be open and honest with you and acknowledge that your feelings are legitimate, perhaps he's just not the fella for you.
2007-12-31 04:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
more than likely it is exciting for him to fantasize about her just because she is another girl and the scenario is taboo. if he were with her he would be doing the same thing but his fantasy would be about you. weird, but this is how it works. don't take it too seriously. if you think he really wants to be with someone else then let him. you can be caught up in your own little fantasy too, you know -- playing the "i can keep him" obsession. but this fantasy, unlike his, is not fun, it is a ***** nightmare. stay away from it.
2007-12-31 04:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by wyderp 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you allow your fantasy to work in barns then you can be sure you can work into your next routine. Fantasising is merely playing a part isn't it? Well, turn that part off and just go do what you wanna do..though with him. Play hocus-pocus and snap your fingers and tell him what you really think of him. Combining the fantasy with reality is a pain in the neck and can occur to anyone - live your life not in the fantasy but in the reality of what is and what should be. Good luck.
2007-12-31 04:17:29 · answer #7 · answered by upyerjumper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend dump him or just role play him ur first time and pay his *** back then dump him.cuz it sounds lilke he still loves ol' girl.And move on.Also you sound like you just might b a bit too young to be havin sex so stop until your married and you wont have these issues if you are with the love of ur life.stay safe and be sweet.
2007-12-31 04:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by sxymamasora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell ur bf how u feel about it
2007-12-31 04:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by suzywong 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"blah blah we're past that now." I think you should reevaluate that.....
2007-12-31 04:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by smellyfoot ™ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋