I have a wedding coming up this summer and two of my bridesmaids will not get professionally measured for their dresses (which I'am personally paying for). They claim to be size 1/2 and 3/4 and I have tried explaining that it might not be the same size in that certain company and since the money is coming out of my pocket, I don't want to have to pay extra for alterations or order another dress altogether. I don't really see the difficulty in getting measured and they seem to be creating unnecessary problems that I don't need but I can't "un-ask" them to be a bridesmaid without seriously severing friendship plus one of the two is family. My question is, is there a tactful way of saying get it together or I will beat the crap out of you?!!!
2007-12-31 03:37:06 · 60 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, whoever they are, you have a right to ask for this, if you are paying. Your bridesmaids are being unreasonable; they should be THRILLED that you are paying! I can guarantee you, every company's size is different - that is why one needs actual, genuine, bona fide measurements. I am "nominally" a size 2, but I actually wear clothing that is size labeled anywhere from a 0 to an 8. I am a British size 8. Go figure. However, perhaps you should talk to them, warmly and politely, and find out what the (ostensible) barrier is to their getting measured - they don't want to spend 3 hours traveling to the bridal shop? They are trying to lose weight? They are allergic to tulle? They are allergic to you? There needs to be SOME reason they aren't doing it, and as long as you LISTEN to the reason, and if necessary, let them know in a non-pissy, assertive and loving way, that it is okay if they would like to back out, you will still love them and they will be welcome as a guest, you will be okay. They could get professionally measured by someone else - tailor? and fax the info to the bridal shop, perhaps that would help. Stifle the urge to beat crap out of them. Just give them a reasonable deadline by which they need to do something, or you will make other arrangements - (ie, drop them). Of course, inherent in any wedding is that someone's nose will get out of joint, but that does not have to be your problem. Good luck!
2007-12-31 03:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by eldots53 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to be persistent.
"Get measured or you are OUT of my wedding party".
THEY are the ones slacking, so you have every right in the world to give them that ultimatum.
2007-12-31 06:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to do it or quit so you can replace them quickly.
2007-12-31 05:09:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may think that because the wedding isn't until summer they still have plenty of time. Explain to them that you have to order the dresses very soon to make sure that the arrive in time.
Even though it seems really obvious, be sure that these two know that bridal and bridesmaid's dresses are usually sized a little smaller than normal clothes. They may have also told you smaller sizes than they really wear! I'm not sure why someone would do that, though. It's not like anyone is going to see the size...
Tell them that you absolutely will NOT order their dresses until they get measured. If they still don't want to go get measured, then tell them that they can pay for their own dresses.
what a couple of farts!
2007-12-31 04:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just having this same problem. I let my MOH handle most of the threats but basically we told them that they needed to have their measurements in by a certain date and if they didn't' they were gonna be axed from the wedding (of course that was all jokingly but with s hint of seriousness) Sound like you have a sense of humor so they might get it.
I am asking my bms to pay a portion of their dresses because my parents aren't trying to pay for it all. Maybe you get their sizes but let them know they will be paying for any alterations or a new dress if it doesn't fit-and if they don't know the price and don't want to pay for it they might get into gear. You might want to also make sure they understand the importance of purchasing the dresses at the same time since they will be cut from the same material and if they are ordered at different times the colors might be off.
Deadlines work sometimes but threats can work even better! Good luck!
2007-12-31 04:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by laaquisha 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should be honored to be in your wedding & do what they can to make it all go smoothly. Truthfully, I would ask them one more time, to get a porfessional fitting, & if they still refuse, then tell them frankly, that you'll have to find other attendants, who will cooperate. They're acting childish & you don't need that. I would probably tell them that if they didn't want to be in your wedding, they should have said so, when you asked them. That may cause a turn around in their behavior. If not, no time for games.
2007-12-31 03:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain that you will order the dresses per their request, but they will need to take care of alterations. Or, ask them to measure themselves and let you know what the numbers are (bust, waist, hips). I had to do that recently for a wedding but it turned out great! Maybe you don't see any difficulty in getting measured, but for me it was going to be a four-hour drive to a bridal shop in another state just to get measured... and that seemed like a waste of time.
That's really nice of you to pay for the dresses, by the way! It's a lot of time and expense to be a bridesmaid, so it shows you really care about your friends to do so.
Congrats, and best wishes for the new year.
2007-12-31 03:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by anon 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No I would stright up tell her.....and by the way she is not acting like a friend so why do you really need her....let me tell you something you only get ONE first wedding it should be all about you not the Drama of a bridesmaid who is jealous because she is not the one getting married......
Dump and and move on sister its your day
2007-12-31 03:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by Big Papi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
uuhh that is a hard situation....
I don't really understand why they are refusing, but I would try to talk to them nicely again and maybe create a girls day where you go for lunch, get measured, maybe get manicures or something to make it more appealing to them
2007-12-31 03:41:20 · answer #9 · answered by wmgirl1992 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd tell them both that if they do not go for a formal fitting, they arent going to be able to be in the wedding. Plain and simple. There isnt any reason that they shouldn't be able to go do it....
2007-12-31 03:41:15 · answer #10 · answered by Heather B 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I think you said best - tell her to get her sh!t together! This is your day, not her's.
2007-12-31 03:41:03 · answer #11 · answered by Just Life, Trying To Live It. 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋