My brother needs a place to mature, he is 16 now and has no where to live after our Mom died. My aunt is considering taking him in, and so have I. She is well established with a nice home in San Diego. I have a small apartment in L A area, and can't offer him much. He had trouble with the last family he stayed with because they were very religious, and I worry that my aunt may not realize the stress her expectations in that area may bring. even though I can't offer much financially is he best off in a more relaxed environment, or is it worth putting up with the religion for a more affluent lifestyle?
2007-12-31 02:54:23 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It seems that some of you are concerned that I am not a stable person, or too young...Let me elaborate...I am eleven years older than him and have two young kids of my own. I am married, and only relaxed when it comes to religion and those other life choices. I would expect him to be responsible with school and a part time job so he can afford those extra's. In my aunt's home he would not be expected to work, and would be provided everything a teen could wan't. I just worry at what cost. He may recieve it all, but need to give in on area's that make a person who they are deep inside...love(they are anti-gay), religion(church every Sunday), career(only if it makes you rich)....
2007-12-31 03:13:58 · update #1
I say take your brother in if you know that's what's best for him. He's 16 he can get a part time job. But money isn't everything a nice relaxed place to come home to with a sister who understands what he's going through is much better.
2007-12-31 02:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by twistedtoad03 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you are very brave woman, very thoughtfull. i say go for it.
2007-12-31 11:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by Valentine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's too much I don't know about his situation to decide where he would be better off. I tend to favor a familial arrangement just because they're family. Religion and affluence are secondary concerns that really aren't as important as the larger need for shelter. He may be resistant to exposure to "religion", but then many people are. It's not going to kill him, and it may well broaden his perspectives a bit. As for the affluence, that's not really a concern, either because it's not his affluence but theirs. "Family" is the larger issue, and since you're not in a position to offer shelter, that should be the next best viable arrangement.
2007-12-31 11:26:13 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is better off with you no doubt. He needs help to mature you are right so the burden is not of a little child. Both of your pains unite you. He will feel like someone is sharing his loss. Make him part of the solution. He can grow up with help but grow up none the less. A part time job school. He will feel much more confortable there. Religious people just bring the spirit down with their control. That is not a place for him. Love him as much as him mother did he will thrive from that. Share your stories with him and him with you. I am sorry for your loss also.
2007-12-31 11:04:15 · answer #4 · answered by liz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question is are you ready to be a parent. Even though he is 16 he probably isn't all grown up. Do you have the kind of relationship where you can expect him to do things and he will listen. His grades, chores, curfews, etc.
I would like to see him with you but I think the most important thing is that he is with someone who can get him off to a good start.
I worry about the relaxed atmosphere. What does that mean? Are you just talking about religion or about the overall vibe off the place? Because if you are keeping tabs on a teen I think the relaxation will leave your home very quickly.
I know you don't want him kicked out of your Aunt's house too. But the money differences are the least of the problems. Reading between the lines I worry you can handle him.
I think he is really lucky to have a sister who cares so much about him. Whatever you do I'm sure he will be OK. I just worry about you and your lifestyle.
Good Luck.
2007-12-31 11:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by elizabeth k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
life style is not important. Are you emotionally ready to raise a tenager with problems? It sounds like you are fairly young yourself. Step back and try to see what is in his best interests. talk with your aunt about your concerns. get help from agencies if neccesary. become an important part of his life. call him frequently. gain his confidence. help him cope with growing up without a parent. listen and be patient. he needs someone to cinfide in. right now he is probably pretty introverted and he needs to be opened up.
Good Luck
2007-12-31 11:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by romey bear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 16 he may still need someone in his life that can be somewhat of a mother to him. You don't mention how old you are, but I'm guessing you are not going to be able to offer him the mature guidance your aunt can. Are you going to tell him that he needs to do his homework, have a good job and go to college? If you think you can fill your mothers shoes in his life (to a point) then I would say he could live with you, but I doubt you are at a place like that in your life.
2007-12-31 11:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by TG 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The environment that will offer him the most love and support, but still help him to remain grounded, focused and determined. If you don't feel your aunt will offer him a positive caring environment, then maybe he should live with you, money isn't everything.
2007-12-31 10:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by ctelly22 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let your brother live with you and ask your aunt to assist with the finances to help take care of him.
2007-12-31 10:59:13 · answer #9 · answered by Sunday's Best 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly he just needs to be with someone that loves him.
2007-12-31 10:57:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋