How to deal with a mentally abusing boss?? help please i dont want to start the New Year in this situation !?

Question

My boss is older than me, she is 40 with 3 kids and still living with her parents and i am 25 married and have my own place. She happens to be very rude and controling and i belive thats her way of feeling powerful and in control since she doesnt have control over her own life. When she is at the office all the staff members are on their toes, scare to make a mistake and have her scream at you in front of the clients and other staff members. The staff morale is very low, its like you never do anything right. i am an emotional person with a very passive personality and i know that makes me her perfect target; i have tried to defend myself without arguing with her and was placed on suspension. This suspension was her way of telling me she was in control so i decided to step down and let her believe she is always right and have even apologize. I can no longer keep up with this, i feel unable to breath between the hours of 9- 5 and now its also affecting my pesonal life as well

Answer 1

Does SHE have a boss you can go to? A company owner? Someone "above" her? If not, the best thing you can do is, while you still work there, ACTIVELY search for another job...being frightened and abused at work is NO way to live...no one is 100% happy with work...however, it CAN be a more relaxing environment and not all bosses are *******......your situation needs to change..I've been where you are...I know the feeling..I did what I am suggesting to you and it was a TERRIFIC change for me...
Good luck...NO ONE should put up with abuse at work...NO ONE...

Answer 2

I would like to suggest that you should change the attitude towards your boss. Think positively that she is in good relation with you. Talking good with every one in the office and is in harmony with all. Always think in this way and you will get astonishing results. The reason behind it is "As you alter your thoughts towards the things and other people, the things and other people will alter towards you. The divinity that shapes your ends is in your own self. All that you achieve is the direct results of your own thoughts."

Answer 3

Can you accept that all human beings are just trying to get by (find happiness) in whatever way they can. Your boss is just trying to get by. You are just trying to get by. Unfortunately, (for you) your boss is in a position of power over you. You sound like you've put a line in the sand about how much you're willing to tollerate before you say "no more" from your boss. You haven't said if you've left your job yet. I suggest you do. That would be honouring your personal integraty. It would be acknowleging that: This situation is no longer supportive of my personal growth (especially if it's affecting other aspects of your life). If you haven't, you need to think seriously about it. Changing jobs is not the end of your world, but rather a transitional period. One where you are simply testing the waters - one where you are only seeking the right fit.

Answer 4

I hear you..loud and clear, went through that a while back. Luckily I took everyone's advice and waited it out...he went back to his old employer and now I'm free of him.

Resolving your situation all depends on where you are geographically, who you really work for...i.e., does she have a boss?, and all the rest of it.

Here in Canada we have laws about this kind of thing, alhough they're hard to enforce, as it's hard to get the proof.

Firstly, if she has a boss, go to him or her and talk about this. They'll likely tell her off, so watch out for the wrath afterwords.

If she's the only boss, all you can do is do your best at work as you likely already do, and learn to stand up to her more. Not so much picking fights, but defend yourself better, so you feel better, and she gets the hint that you're not easy prey. You should also try to sit down and talk to her about it...bring her coffee, or ask her out to lunch to talk. She's probably stressed at home like you said, and just takes it out on the easiest thing...her employees.

Answer 5

Time for you to find a new job....you shouldn't have to work under those circumstances..have you all gone to her boss, there has to be someone over her....human resources, file a grievance....sounds to me like she is jealous or something..I would go to her boss asap....

Answer 6

Go over her head if you can. Better yet get a new job. Nobody should have to work like that. If all employees would stick together maybe you could go to someone higher than her and all of you let them know how this person is acting. I have had a boss like this before and the best thing I did was leave. Good luck:)