in desperate need of advice.. don't know what to do anymore...?

Question

I have a very tough decision to make.I've had my dog since I was 12.Since she was about 2 she suffered from very severe seizures.I had her trained very well for roughly 2 years, then once the seizures came on it seemed like she kind of went backwards.She's almost 11 at the end of Feb and still she can't hold herself.I've done a good job to mostly illiminate the seizure and they're not as severe either but she still pees and poops everywhere.I don't know what to do anymore. She wears a diaper as embarassing as that is to say because she will almost always have an accident somewhere. Yesterday we came home though and the poo went through somehow and got everywhere.It was horrible.My fiance has had about enough and wants me to do something.He's mentionned putting her down thinking she is suffering.I just need some advice.This is hard for me because she is my baby. She does have other problems,a few times a year she can hardly walk, in pain all over and has trouble breathing.

She also has swollen glands, the ones by her throat. Sorry don't know what those are spefically called but they've been enlarged for months now, if not longer before I noticed. She's also slowly starting to go blind.. her eyes are starting to grey out a bit. I will be bringing her in to the vet soon but I guess I just need some honest opinions from people who are removed from the situation. It's hard for me to really look at this with a good frame of mind. People have told me to put her down for her seizures but I never could consider it. I don't know if it's the right thing or not, but the one thing I know is that she won't learn to not pee and poop in the house, I've been trying so hard for the last 7+ years. She'll do really well for a week or two then for a week straight will keep doing it. I'm very loving with her and I don't know what more that I can do for her. Just anything would be helpful at this point. Thanks

I thought I had mentionned it was only a few times a year where she had trouble walking/breathing.It's not all the time.When the seasons change mainly and summer time.I dont know if that makes a difference.She has a lot of zest in her still I know it but it just doesn't last as long.She sleeps most of the day,has one good bout of energy then she's spent for the day.Her seizures were reduced by changing her diet.I was told that a seizure doesn't actually hurt an animal (or person for that matter) because they aren't actually conscious/aware of what's going on.Maybe I'm wrong in that thinking but that's what I had been told since however long I can remember.I don't think she's in pain all the time.Sometimes I guess.If she's outside for more then a few minutes her paws get really sore from the cold and she yelps,she's never done this before but I don't know what it means.It's all things I have to ask the vet about.I just don't know.This is tough, but thanks everyone.

I'm sorry, I never mentionned her breed and such. She's a miniature pekignese mixed with tibetan spaniel. I've tried vets. I'm so fed up with them. I was told that she wasn't epileptic from a blood test and was given meds that cost out the **** with no results, I think her seizures even worsened. I don't think he did any proper testing for her. Another vet told me the bill would be just too much and that "now" she was ok and to just bring her back home. I've never had good experiences although I'm bringing her to a different vet this time to get their opinion. My uncle brings his dogs there and has no complaints. I haven't brought her yet because I keep putting it off. I keep thinking she's getting better. Maybe it is selfish, but I just want her to be better. I almost don't want to ever have another animal because of this pain. It's not easy.

BTW, I was going to ignore the comments about leaving my fiance but I feel that I need to have a say on that.

How can it be justified to get rid of one love over another love? If any of you who told me to lose my fiance can answer that then go ahead.

My fiance is not a monster. He sees animals in a different light, maybe that's for the better because she could be suffering more then I am letting myself see and he is being realistic. I'd love to keep her forever if I could. He also loves animals.

We spoke a bit more on it and he brought up a good point that I guess I kept in the back of my head but never wanted to see. He said that she eats so little it's just enough to sustain her. You can feel her ribcage and there's little to her, which is true. I didn't see it that way, but it's something else.. It's not as though she's been diagnosed with cancer and is definately dying anytime now. I don't want her to suffer but I feel like I am losing it just thinking about it all.

Answer 1

Let her go, it is time and she is suffering.
Would you want to live like that??
Don't be selfish, let her go!!!

Answer 2

I had to make a similar decision about a year ago with my 13 yr old Golden Retriever, I have had her since she was 6 weeks old and played with her from the time she was 3 weeks. I am a 39 year old Soldier and former cop that has seen my fare share of death; this was the hardest thing next to loosing a sister to cancer. I cried my eyes out and the vet said that was very normal, I think she was trying to make me feel better, not sure it help much but it was nice to know I'm not alone.

I don't envy your situation, what I recall from finally having to put my dog down was just after the injection she looked into my eyes and had a look of pleasure and comfort and seamed to be saying, through her eyes, its OK everything will be fine.

I got a new Golden in mid August, I got her at age 4 from a rescue, she is a sweet and wonderful companion. I find that I call her by her predecessors name occasionally but she doesn’t seam to care as long as she thinks I'm talking to her she is beside herself with excitement.

Think of what is best for her, its not easy

Answer 3

I know this is hard, but if her seizures are that bad & you have tried medication (most likely phenobarbitol) and still can not get then controlled, it may be kindest to put her down.

Her quality of life does not sound that good, and you & your fiance are obviously stressing ... it is hard, but it would be for the best.

I have had this situation with a Rottweiler years ago, and my only regret was that I did not give her the peace she deserved sooner.

Answer 4

i think its time you let her go! poor dog she is suffering and if she is your baby i don't you want her to suffer!

Answer 5

I've learned in situations like these, one very simple rule.
Get rid of the boyfriend, fiance, husband, or whatever-they come and go and can be replaced. The love that you have for your dog or other animal can't. They depend on you for everything. They are loyal to you, always there for you.
I'm serious-I'd keep trying to afford my dog a decent quality of life and get rid of the boyfriend. He just doesn't understand and never will.

Answer 6

You should put her out of her misery. I did this for my dog and it was very very hard but this life that she was living was just miserable it would be better to put her to sleep love...you will always have the Sweet memories with your baby and remember how she was when she was healthy not how she is now...best of luck

Answer 7

I am very close to my dog too, and I am sure this must be very tough for you. Your Vet's advice is always a good place to start. I'd say that if she is in pain most of the time, then she doesn't really have much quality of life anymore, and the fair thing to do is put her down, so she doesn't suffer anymore. If she is not in pain, it's a different story. I would ask your Vet, and maybe even get a second Vet's opinion.

Answer 8

Sorry to say, but your fiance is right. It would be best to put this dog down, she seems to be suffering.

It may help you to read the books "Marley and Me" by John Grogan and "A Good Dog" by Jon Katz. Both are wonderful books about people who have had to deal with letting go of a dog for various reasons.

The best of luck to the three of you.

Answer 9

If she is incontinent, in pain, and has trouble breathing, than her quality of life is not what it should be. It may be time to consider putting her down. It won't be an easy thing to do (I've been through it....it's not fun) but in the end, you will know that your actions were out of mercy. Call your vet and speak to him/her about what your options are....there may be a different solution. Best of luck to you, and I'm sorry you have to go through this.

Answer 10

I would suggest talking to the vet if there is nothing he can do to help her then I would think about putting her down, it would be the humane thing to do if she doesn't have a good quality of life. I know its hard but put yourself in the dogs position wouldn't you want your suffering to stop.

Answer 11

if it is having seizures it is suffuring, it sould be put down