Whats Your Favourite Funny Joke?

Question

mine are:

The magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field

HAHA

Q)"what do you do if a bird poops on your windscreen?"
A)"Dont take her out again!"

HAHA

Three heavily pregnant women, one brunette, one ginger and one blonde were sat on a park bench. the brunette said: "I heard that what position you were in while having sex determines what gender your baby is. I was on top so mines a boy." The ginger said "oh, i was below so mines going to be a girl." The brunette and ginger turned towards the blonde who looked slight bemused and asked the blonde :" so what gender is your baby going to be?" The blonde replied: "im having puppies!"

HAHA

what do you think?

now tell me your best funny jokes XD

:o)

happy new year!

x

Answer 1

when's a dwarf not a dwarf....

when he's got his head between his legs and he's a gobblin

GOT ANOTHER ONE!!

A 50yr old naive virgin went into a pub one night, desperately looking to lose his cherry at last...he struck lucky. The lady he met was definately up for it. Just before they left the pub, she said "one thing I perhaps should mention...I'm on my menstrual cycle"

"Thats okay"..the virgin replied, "I'll follow on me Honda"

Happy New Year everyone!!

Answer 2

An previous woman has merely married her fourth husband and he or she is being interviewed with the help of a information reporter information reporter: are you able to let us know somewhat approximately your husbands? previous woman: confident, my first became a banker, my 2d became a hoop grasp, my 0.33 became a vicar and my final is an undertaker. information reporter: wow, are you able to let us know why you married those men. previous woman: nicely you recognize, a million Forrest the money, 2 for the instruct, 3 to get waiting and four to bypass.

Answer 3

Evils Of TV

Pastor Brown was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils of television.
"It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said.
He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done.
"We put our TV away in the closet."
"That's right," his wife mumbled, "and it gets awfully crowded in there."

Answer 4

enjoyed reading the jokes, heres a star. Happy New Year!!!

Answer 5

Average Joe is driving his car and he rear-ends the person in front of him. The person who climbs out of the hit car is a dwarf. The dwarf goes up to Joe and with angered expression, "I'M NOT HAPPY."
Joe, about to crack up says, "Are you Sleepy, Dopey or Sneezy, then?"


~or~


A man walks into a cafe. In the corner a TV is set for a news channel. There is a blond woman sitting watching, wide-eyed. On the screen, someone is about to jump off a building. The man walks over to the lady, and says, "I bet you $20 he is going to jump." The blond accepts. They stared at the screen. Finally, the person jumped. The lady handed the man a twenty dollar bill. The man rejects it, saying," I'm sorry, that was unfair. I watched the morning news." Then the lady said, "Hey, well, I watched it too. But I didn't think he was going to jump again."

Answer 6

On her 70th birthday, an old spinnster decides it's time to finnaly get married. Since she has no hot prospects, she decides to run this ad in the local newspaper:

" Seventy-year young virgin seeks husband. Must be in same age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and MUST still be good in bed. Apply in person"

The next day, her doorbell rings, and when she opens the door, much to her dismay is a gray haired man in a wheelchair, and he has no arms or legs.

She asks the man, "Do you really expect me to choose you? You don't even have any arms or legs!" The old man replies, "Well, I don't have arms, so how could I beat you?" The woman agrees, and asks him to proceed. "I don't have any legs, so how could I run around on you? Again, she agrees, and replies, "But how could you, without any arms or legs, possibly be good in bed?"

The man smiles and says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I!"

Answer 7

Two Tiger,s walking on the promenade in Blackpool. One said to the other,"there,s not many people about for this time of year"

Answer 8

got a new job after new year at a mental hospital.only problem is i need 24 hours training with someone who is not a full shilling how are you fixed HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Answer 9

a butcher caught his trainee butcher putting his todger in the bacon slicer so he sacked him on the spot! if your wondering what did he do with the Bacon slicer afterwards! he sacked her too!!