My mother doesnt understand .........?

Question

I have posted here before regarding my situation with my mother. I am engaged, have a 5 y/o and have twins on the way (less than 6 weeks). My mother has a house full of shiftless adults that refuse to help her out the way they should. My father passed 2 years ago, left her with nothing. I have an older sister and her 4 kids that live there. She is working part-time(dont ask me why) and none of her kids work...she has a 14 y/o, 18y/o, 19 y/o and a 20 y/o. They all sit around and loaf. In the last 2 years, my mother has re-financed her house to help my older sister pay her bills, she also co-signed on 2 cars for the same sis and they got reposessed. My sister constantly drags my mother further in debt. I have been struggling because I have been helping my mother out financially. Now that I am broke, everyone is mad at me because I dont have anymore to give.I told her all I have is the money to pay for my daughters tuition and they are mad cuz I wont give it to them to pay bills.

My mother is mad because I have had to pull the plug on helping her pay the mortgage at her house. She has 4 other adults in there. Plus she keeps my lil sisters daughter for free but charges me if I need her to babysit.

Answer 1

Man..... you know what... don't let them do to you like they are doing you're mother. They want money then they need to go make their own money. Sometimes tough love is the only thing you can do. You can't get thrown around and pressured because they are lazy. And tell them their lazy. If it were me, I would have snapped.

I would have been like, ummm. "I'm working and doing my thing to get my bills paid and handle my business. What are you doing??? Loathing around asking other people for money so YOU can get by. I'm not going to let yall drag me in a hole of debt like you did my mom. Not going to happen. So if you want your bills paid, I suggest you get off your lazy butts and get a job. If not then I guess yall will be living at a homeless shelter begging for food and a place to live rather than begging for money. Don't ask me for any money.. I don't have it."

And move on. I wouldn't even deal with that. Only help your mother if you can... don't succumb to your sister and her kids... those are her responsibility and at their ages they can take care of themselves.

Answer 2

yeah and if she'd told you earlier would your reaction have been any better? would you have had a clue what she was talking about? Sounds like she was totally right, you're way immature and stupid. I wouldnt tell you anything, she knows you well enough to know you are just a little baby child still and not able to handle grown up things like being a bit dissappointed. She dont just need to protect you from other peopel like your dad, you need protecting from yourself! You want to run off and live with your fabulous daddy who would never lie to you of course, do you? And have your female bits chopped up so you can hardly pee? And never be allowed out and be sold to some old man at 15, and have to clean up after him all day like a good somali girl? Why would you want to know the truth when that is it? With your bad attitude I bet she was scared that's exactly the sort of stupid thing you would do. I'd hate to love you like she obviously does, you are hardly grateful. She's tried her best fo ryou, paid for your a.ss all your life and you pay her back by wnating to kill her. I bet you think you're entitled to all this free stuff you've had, you wouldnt have been in Somalia. You are really really selfish, no wonder the counselling dont work. Is there any brain in your head to get through to?

Answer 3

try to move out some way some how maybe you could try to move in with other people who are not family and make arrangements for daycare or a babysitter for your kids . I know you said that money is tight you could try looking at government agency's that offer daycare for a really cheap fee my sister in law does that and her kids absolutely love head start . I think that if you continue to stay that your mom will never get up the courage to tell her other kids to move out because she knows that she can always count on you . this will be hard but sometimes tough love hurts .

Answer 4

well hello there, sounds like you are about to witts end. you cant support the whole world. the best way to get someones attention is get ahold of their pocket book. you need to throw all these free loaders out the front door. you had better get ahold of your life and your finances or you soon will not be able to. i have a rule at my home everyone that is able to work will help contribute to the household or they dont live here best of luck to you

Answer 5

You have 3 children of your own now, and you need to make a stable life for them. You cannot keep supporting all these other people.
That's the bottom line. Take care of your children. Let the adults take care of themselves.

Answer 6

My family does me the same thing. They're taking advantage of you & your mom. It's not your responsibility to take care of them. The're grown just like you are. You have enough responsibility with your own kids & finances. I know it's easier said than done, but I'd just let them be upset. I'm giving you advice I can't help myself with. LOL I know it's your family & you love them & all, but you shouldn't have to continue to support them. I bet if you were in need & they had many resources, they'd act pretty snobbish. My family is like that. When I don't have money to give my family, they always try to make up lies on me & slander me. You wanna know something else? You & your mom can take your sister to court & sue her.