I was casually dating a guy for a while. I wasn't the only one he was dating, which I was fully aware of. Last night I spoke to him and he told me that he had decided it was time to make a committment to be exclusive with one of the other women he was seeing. I always knew it wouldn't last. I just didn't realize I'd be so hurt when it finally did end. He was always honest with me. His only mistake was he didn't clue me in sooner that things might be getting serious with someone else. I don't hate him and I'm honestly not mad at him. But I do need my mourning time because this is a fresh wound.
What I don't get is why do friends automatically bash the ex and think I should be over the relationship in an instant? Friends I've told (now I'm wishing I hadn't told them) instantly say he's a jerk, or more colorful terms and say I'm better off without him in my life. Why don't they realize that I need my time to be sad before I can move on?
2007-12-31 01:36:56 · 4 answers · asked by Erin 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They are just trying to defend you. So many times we claim "oh, I'm fine with it," and we aren't, they know this. I think you have a great head on your shoulders to be able to put things in perspective as you have. Maybe you're friends wouldn't be able to so such a thing as you. Yes, you need a mourning period because it was something that ended, but honey, more power to you for not holding on to someone who let go. We can all learn from you.
2007-12-31 01:43:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Erin ,sometimes its you,17 or 57 it hurts,i feel that its better
to blow it off to friends,[ meaning no big deal ]
out of site, out of mine,let him wonder what you've been up to,
a new hair cut, push-up bra,ect,ect,ect,
this dudes a player,do the above,walk,.smile,and don't look back,theres a line of guys waiting for you,i wish i knew where
the line was,you look pretty good from behind,you go girl
you will be all that//Erinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
2007-12-31 11:07:01 · answer #2 · answered by fivexxxxbv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your friends are trying to be sympathetic in their own way, they see you are hurting, and so lash out at who hurt you.
As your relationship, and its demise are not the perceived norm they are struggling on how to deal with this
Looking at the bigger picture, i think they may be feeling, that since you were ok with this guy seeing other people, that you werent into him big time, as when things are more serious there is a kind of "exclusiveness"
so they do not see this is a huge wrench from your life
talk to them, they cant read your mind, and all you have to do is tell them what you have told us here
good luck, i hope things feel better for you real soon
2007-12-31 09:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are trying to be supportive of you. If you just want them to back off a little, then let them know this & tell them that when you are ready they can bash away at him. They won't know what you are feeling until you let them know. They are your friends, not mind readers or mood rings.
2007-12-31 09:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋