why does she says i don't love her?

Question

i am a man married to a beautiful lady but i don't feel like i satisfy her in anyway, i work and have my own buisness, when i come home i eat and fall asleep and she says i don't love her because i do come home and go to sleep, i don't go to bars , i don't hang out with friends, i come home to her where i feel comfortable and relaxed knowing she is close to me even if i am asleep but the i wake up at 2am every morning, i play on the computer, watch tv and drink coffee then leave for work at 7am,so my day starts at 2am but she feels i don't spend enough time with her.
open to suggestions, that might straighten this out before its too late!!!!!
thanks rick

Answer 1

take her on a romantic spontaneous date.... like the good old days.... bring back the spark...

dont tell her that you love her... SHOW HER

Answer 2

I do have a suggestion: since you work for yourself, you have some flexibility in your schedule. When you awaken at 02:00am daily, instead of playing on the computer and drinking coffee maybe the two of you could do something together...talk, watch a sappy movie, cook breakfast together..."what" you do is unimportant; that you do it together is. That's a five hour window that you have on a daily basis that could be used to improve this situation. You could also call her up unexpectedly in the middle of the day just to see how she's doing...wake her up just before her favorite show comes on, or make plans to ravish her when you get home...plant that idea in her head early in the morning and she'll revel in the anticipation all day long. The thing is, it's great that you don't barhop and you enjoy spending time at home, but it takes a good deal more than just physically being there to "be there". She wants you to look at her, engage in meaningful dialogue with her, and make her feel like she matters to you. No one likes to feel taken for granted. So, with a new year comes a brand new opportunity to turn all of this stuff around to your mutual advantage. Good luck, and Happy New Year.

Answer 3

I would recommend you stop playing on the computer in the morning and you get up later. Then you can go to bed later. This will give you some time when you get home to spend with her. I agree with her you are being selfish.

Answer 4

managing your time more wisely is the key to this. instead of getting on the computer at 2am sleep and snuggle. Little things mean alot. If you get more sleep u won't be coming in and going to sleep first thing-u will be able to spend more time with her. She also needs to give u a break and appreciate a man who will go to work.

Answer 5

spend more time with her, make time for her, you said when you come home you eat then sleep, then wake up at 2am and the cycle begins again, make time for your wife.

Answer 6

At 2am play with her, not the computer. She just wants more attention, ask questions to show more interest... be creative, surprise her with a note from time to time left where she will find it, maybe taped to the mirror saying how you feel or how great she looks, leave flowers, plan a little surprise day trip like one night in a hotel a few hours away... massages show you care too... has to be a surprise, not like you are doing damage control.

Answer 7

She wants your undivided attention. How about planning a date night once a week? YOU plan somewhere nice to take her for quality time and surprise her. (just let her know you've planned a night out but the plans themself are a surprise) Just the time you took to think of her and plan something will make a difference. Also, leave hidden notes around for her every so often, like maybe the day of datenight. Hide it in her underwear drawer, kitchen cubbard, etc. where she'll find it when you're gone to work. I've kept every love note my husband has ever left for me. They mean so much and they're as simple as a heart shaped piece of paper saying "I love you baby! Have a good day! XXXOOO". She just needs to know through your actions that you're special to her. It's a girl thing. :)
Oh, and the reference from "Bride" to read the 5 love languages is EXCELLENT. It really explains the difference in how different people show, and expect to be shown, love.

Answer 8

It sounds like she is upset that when you come home, you dn't spend anytime with her...you are on the computer or watching tv. At least if you snuggle with her on the couch and watch a show you would both like, that would be something. On the weekends, maybe you could take her out to dinner and a movie or something once in awhile and let you know you do appreciate her and really want to spend time with her. One day let her be in charge and you guys do whatever it is she wants. You sound like a nice guy who has just gotten into a rut. I hope things work out. Good luck.

Answer 9

Don't neglect her... She obviously loves you and you need to be a bit more considerate with her.

Take a day off work and spend it with her. Do more for her, there is more to life than work work work work work... If you keep this up, she might see herself forced to run to another man....

I've seen it happen

Answer 10

I think she wants more intimate time with you. Try surprising her by spending time with her - meaning not just going home and playing the computer. ;)

Answer 11

My first suggestion would be to read the book The Five Love Languages. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it. And have her read it to. There's a quiz at the end you can take together, but I really think the book may put things into perspective for you. I think she wants to do things WITH you, not around you. As much as I'm sure she appreciates you not going to bars etc, she wants you emotionally, not only physically being there. Talk to her, go do stuff together. Women like that. Good luck!