For any guys out there.....?

Question

First of all, no JUDGEMENTS....My friend had an affair with her best friend's husband. She doesn't regret it but she says she wants to remain friends with his wife but, when they are together she is very nervous. The guy hasn't said anything about calling off the affair and she doesn't want to, any tips on how not to be nervous around the wife??

Answer 1

She's nervous because she feels guilty, and is afraid of being found out.

She needs to either let some time pass, come clean, or reason the guilt away.

-Letting the time pass will, overtime, make her fears of being found out go away. It also cools down any remaining dealings between the 'guilty parties'.
-Coming clean will get rid of the guilt and fear, but could also get rid of the friendship and her best friend's marriage.
-Reasoning the guilt away would be like asking what did the affair hurt? If it's never going to happen again, the marriage is still intact, and the husband is now being faithful, ultimately was it that bad?

The #2 option is what people will generally advise, but it's easy advice to give when it's not them.

Answer 2

dont sleep with the husband!!!!.would she be nervous around you if she was humping your bloke?

Answer 3

Throw your morals to the four winds as I have done and carry on like nothing is happening. That way she will suspect nothing and you can carry on having your affair as i am doing.
Your morals are making you feel guilty, if you have no morals like me, you will have no guilt. It's as easy as that.

Answer 4

Yes, honesty is good for avoiding those tricky nevous situations.

Answer 5

call off the affair. or later it's gonna be 2 divorcees and the one who caused it.

Answer 6

The key to not being nervous is to be entirely forthcoming with someone, and that's something she is unable to be under the current circumstances. She can't very well be a friend either while simultaneously stabbing this woman in the back, so things are pretty much on target with the way they've been orchestrated, don't you think?

Answer 7

well, tell the truth... that way, everytime they see each others face, they won't be nervous, they'd be angered!!! No judgementss, just suggesting..

Answer 8

Not to be judgmental, but your friend is void of morals and character. When one looks at the true definition of a friend, she is not a friend to either the woman or her husband. If she had been a friend to the other woman, she would have informed her if her husband was having an affair, even if it was with someone else.
The honorable thing to do is to beg forgiveness and accept the fact that you will be banished from the relationship with the couple.

Answer 9

.What a fool. His wife is not your best friend,not any more. Get away from these people and chalk it up to a lesson learned. and a commandant broken. You (your friend) wants to remain a sinner and a adulteress. Of course the husband is fine with having a mistress who is willing to hide in the shadows and protect him from detection. His wife means nothing to him any way.If he wants your friend,he should leave his wife and pursue her.But, remember,once a cheater always a cheater. He will do te same thing to your friend.

Answer 10

Unless she has no conscious, no. As long as she has a conscious, what she did (is doing) will run through her mind every time she sees he lover's wife. She has put herself in a bad situation. The best thing she can do is leave it alone. You cannot remain friends with the wife of the guy you're sleeping with - unless of course they are swingers.

BTW - if she's nervous around the wife - there is an element of guilt and/or regret going on there.

Best of Luck to her,

~J.M.