we moved to this small town to help my mother-n-law well turns out we r more of an atm machine we did move out n were away of her always asking for change but have recently had to move back in bcus of our psychotic landlady. she literally asks for everything gas, bills, cigarrettes, chocolate, 2 buy dinner for all of us when there is food in the fridge to last she will even have money in her hand and still ask for more its driving us crazy cus we r stuck here until we can save up which will b in a month n a half. HeLP how can we stop this without being rude.
2007-12-31 00:07:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband sits down with her and tells her in a polite but firm manner that he's sorry but he can't afford to support both her and his own household and if she doesn't have enough money then maybe she needs a new job. If she isn't able to work, make sure she is getting all of the disability, social security and retirement that she is due. If she still needs money, see what services she qualifies for.
You are not going to be able to cut her off without having her angry at you.
Your husband's responsibility to his mother is to make sure that she has a roof over her head, clothes on her back, food on her table and appropriate medical care. He doesn't have to finance it (there are services available to her if she doesn't have the funds) and it doesn't have to be top of the line. You help no one if you go broke trying to finance her lifestyle.
Since you are living with her: see what is fair rent to pay for your area for the amount of home you have access to and pay for your share of the bills. If there are 3 of you in the house, then you and your husband pay 2/3 of the bills, if there are 7 people in the house, then you and your husband pay 2/7 of the bills. You don't have to pay her more than she is due.
Get yourselves on a budget and start saving for your own place ASAP.
2007-12-31 00:17:15 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to be told you cannot afford her.
2007-12-31 01:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her for money,,,,why not ?? see what you get for an answer,,,I would rather starve than ask my kid for money
2007-12-31 01:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a woodchipper out back? mwahahaha
2007-12-31 01:02:06 · answer #4 · answered by Puppet Dictator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply tell her normally it would be a pleasure to help her
but right now things are tight with you and you simply
cannot afford to help her. good luck and happy new year.
2007-12-31 00:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jerry S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to say when she asks you for money is that you don't have much because you are going to have to use it for certain bills that you guys have too. There are many mother-in-laws that will ask for money but we just have to be nice and give it to them. If you don't want to tell her yourself then have your husband tell her whenever she asks, of course it is his mom and he loves her a lot, but he has to think about your guys future and you guys need the money just as much as she does too. You have to support yourself until you are living a stable life before you try to help someone else. If she is not using it for a good cause then you guys don't have to give her any money because you guys need it more than she does. Don't feel like she will hate you if you don't give it to her because as long as your husband understands why you guys have to keep the money then all is well. She should understand that there are bills to pay and stuff that you guys want to buy too so she has to stop asking for money so often. So, by asking nicely you can just say, "Sorry, we are in a shortage of money and we have a lot of bills to pay too so don't feel bad that we can't give you any money. When we have some extra then we'll give you what we can." That is probably the politest way you can ever say something like that. If you don't want to say it then just tell your husband to say it whenever she asks. Hopefully this helps. Take care and good luck.
2007-12-31 00:41:44 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with invisigoth. give her the 10 points.
there are services to help her.
2007-12-31 00:23:14 · answer #7 · answered by joseph t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother in law may feel that since she is providing the house, you need to provide everything else.
One solution might be to set up a household budget; money needed to run the house, such as rent/mortgage, food, utilities, cleaning products (and chores to be done), not to buy cigarettes and chocolate. Then you each give a fair portion providing the household with the money to cover the monthly expenses.
It's not fair that the burden be on only one person, when you are all adults, nor is it fair that one person always have their hand out for their personal incidentals.
2007-12-31 00:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by Ja Funmi dba Big Baby 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just tell her no, that sorry you wished you did have some money so you could help her. if you keep helping her you wont be helping yourselves out of the situation.she knows what she is doing to you and sounds like she is trying to bind you there by taking all that you have. say the word no and say it often.
2007-12-31 00:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by jstagirl1969 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you both lost your jobs and start asking HER for money instead.
Let's face it, you did not move back in with your mother-in-law because of some landlord. You moved back in because you could not handle having your own apartment. Now you have to put up with a begging in-law instead of a psychotic landlord. It was your choice, so live with it.
2007-12-31 00:12:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋