Do people get set in their ways?

Question

In Dating, people know what they want and look for,BUT also, people get use to being "independent".It's hard to
break-into peoples independent bubble and get them to change. I'm not saying to change someone because it's a challenge or fun game,but to change a little for sake of a new relationship. Does anyone understand what I'm saying???

Also,please be at least in your 20's if you plan to answer.I don't think a 15 yr old know's enough about this topic

Answer 1

Oh yeah. Absolutely. And the older you get, the harder it is to change your ways. I've seen older couples fall apart after marriage because the change to the long-established lifestyle, attitudes etc was too much. I got married at 22 and wasn't really fully matured. My husband and I both changed a lot but it wasn't a stress back then. We didn't have big expectations, we were just young and in love and wanted to make it work. If I got married now I think I would be completely intolerant and dig my heels in - my way or the highway. Grumpy old cow that I am ;)

Answer 2

There is a fine line between changing because you want to please your partner and changing out of the fear of losing them. In the first case the change is self motivated as a positive. The second is self motivated as a negative. The first can build the relationship. The second adds under laying resentment. The first is not damaging the independent bubble (self acceptance and esteem) the second (changing to gain acceptance and security) does. If a person gives unconditional acceptance first then the first is more likely. It's the "Change or else!" that is damaging.

Answer 3

Yes, mo, they do. Sometimes very early in life, too. Changing, as such, isn't necessary, however. What is needed is to accept someone else into your personal space. This can happen without your realizing it, and that's the best way to gain a partner. You shouldn't have to consciously alter your way of life in order to accommodate another person - they should just be there. No inconvenience; no bother; no having to compromise. It can happen, but sadly, most times it doesn't. Just look at the divorce rate.

Answer 4

Would a 62 year old do? Most people get set in their ways as they age, especially if they are independently single. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that when I was engaged a few years ago, I willingly made changes in small & large ways to accomodate our relationship. So I came to the conclusion that along with age comes a certain wisdom in knowing what is and what isn't important. Obviously this isn't always the case.

Unfortunately, the relationship ended because he constantly compared me to his ex-wife and I came out on the losing end. Go figure; especially when he was the one who left her.

Answer 5

Yes, people in general get set in their ways.

Answer 6

please, listen to a old wise women. people do not change. why should they. if you can not accept someone the way there are, you are in for a long ride. people work all there life to become who they are. Why should they change. there is peace in knowing who you are.

Answer 7

Of course people get set. The older one is the more one is set in their ways. People who marry in their 20's usually get to become set together. After that it is harder and harder for couples to adapt to each other.

Answer 8

I do understand and I have realized that I fall into the independant status that you talk about. I'm 37 and single and I believe that since I am so independant it not only stops me from seeking a relationship because I don't want the feeling of reporting to anyone else but it also stops others from approaching me because they feel I don't "need" them.

Answer 9

if the person has to change for you to maintain a relationship, he or she is not for you.

find someone you can accept as is, qualities, faults warts and all

After age 15 people rarely change and when they appear to, it is only temporary.

Answer 10

yes