I am very self-concious about many different parts of my body. How do I get over it?

Question

Most people would look at me and ask what in the hell I have to be self-concious about and all the does for me is prove that I disquise my "faults" well. It ranges from minor things, like the scars all over my legs (clumsy child) to things that I just hate about myself like my toenails which refuse to grow. I was actually recently asked if I had surgery on my chin. I almost choked! Thats exactly the reason I live in Hawaii and dont own a single pair of shorts. And as far as the nails. I bite my finger nails really bad and Im embarassed to wear sandles or open toed shoes in fear that someone will think I chew my toe nails, no joke!

I was wondering how I can battle this anxiety that I have because it controls my life. It deters me from dating, and even forces me to make excuses for why I dont want to do certain things, like go get a pedicure for instnace.

There are many other things that bother me but, its not about whats wrong, but how I can learn to love myself more.

Thanks

Thanks to everyone who took time out to give me some advice. I know that I have tons of other things going for me and that I shouldnt feel the way I do about myself, I just dont know HOW to relax. I suppose a big part of it is I was just recently left by my fiance, the whole reason I moved out to Hawaii and It took me so long to get comfortable and now I have to overcome it all over again! The heart break on top of it all is playing a big part Im sure but this is something Ive struggled with since elementary school.

Answer 1

Look in the mirror. You see that face? That's the face your parents fell in love with the day you were born. They loved every single inch of you without reservation. They saw absolutely no fault with you. Had someone challenged them and laughed at your pointy little head and knobby little knees, you parents would have punched them in the neck for the vile lies they told. You don't have to be perfect to be loved. You don't have to be perfect to be happy. You have to look at yourself and love yourself like you deserve to be loved.

Answer 2

My advice to you and all the other girls or women out on this earth is to not to look at the bad things about yourself but to think of the posotive and apreciate how beautiful you really are.Even if it is on the outside or on the inside. I am completely aware of how important it is to most girls out there to look well pretty but there is much important things out there. I'm not saying that looks are not important I am telling you that there is more things out there to please every girl individually acording to your uniqe talents. You probably are thinking what is she talking about I love to feel beautiful this is fine but dont get to cocky about your looks because not everyone can be as so called ''skinny'' we all come in different shapes and sizes this is what makes us beautiful and different then everyone. What I am saying does not mean that you have to over wieght to be beautiful and I'm not saying that being obese is a good thing but to not feel that everyone's opinion is going to ditermen if you are beautiful or not

-tinytoodagurl01
ps: I hope I have inspired all ladies that read this remember the beauty inside you is much more important than the looks on the outside.

pps:By the way I hope you still take my advice knowing that I am only 12 yrs. old this doesnt mean that I am not aware

Answer 3

Seriously, I don't see anything wrong. I think it's all in your head. Even people with the skinniest bodies will have some kind of rolls. If you don't want a pooch you'd have to be literally 100% muscle. Our bodies are always going to have some kind of fat on them. Whether it's from our butt or legs.

Answer 4

hmmm...well i am like that too, and i have alittle cellulite (which people say isnt there) and i refuse to wear shorts in the summer. so i heard that having a tan helps reduce the look, so i started tanning. u live in hawaii, but if u dont wear shorts are ur legs tan? it really works for disguising things like scars, veins, etc

ur toenails, if u want them to look better, (my sis atually has this exact problem) go to a store and get fake nails, they actually have fake toenails for this prob! do them urself and see how u like it. there is a cure for everything, believe me, i am the hardest person on myself. i see every tiny flaw i have because i know what isnt as good as it could be!

Answer 5

I can totally relate. We live in a society where girls are made to think that they must have perfect skin, nails, bodies to value themselves. Honestly, you are the only one that notices these minor flaws though and if someone points them out in disgust then thats not the kind of person you want to be around.
I have been through counseling to increase my self esteem and positive body image but it is a continuous struggle especially when every time I turn on the television or go to the grocery store airbrushed models creep into my subconscious.
There are several things I do to get over my body image issues.
On my bathroom mirror I have a colorful sign that read "Good Morning Gorgeous". This helps me to internalize good self esteem.
I take the time to pamper myself. Treat yourself like you would want others to treat you if you were completely paralyzed and couldnt do anything for yourself.
Give yourself a manicure, even if you do bite your nails. You can atleast file and buff them and apply clear nail polish. Trust me, it will help. Same for your toenails. Who cares how short they are, you can still file them evenly yourself and maybe even put some colored polish to spice it up. If you're diligent about taking care of your nails yourself, eventually you will take some pride in them and feel empowered to treat yourself to a professional job.
Heres a link with some nail tips... http://beauty.about.com/cs/gorgeousnails1/ht/carenails.htm
Another link with some tips on how to stop nail biting.....http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Biting-Your-Nails
You cant do much about your scars, creams are for the most part ineffective and laser treatments are really expensive but you can make sure to moisturize your legs every day. I like Jergens natural glow lotion. The slight sheen it gives your legs hide minor imperfections
http://www.jergens.com/Our_Collection/Product_Detail.asp?ProductID=8
The best solution though is mental. Develop a self worth mantra to repeat in your head throughout the day. Seek out self help books and websites. I dont know if you go to school but if you do you can seek out a school counselor to help you build your self esteem and provide you with additional materials. Otherwise there are many mental health counselors in Hawaii that can help. Do some research.
Good luck and hopefully you can overcome your inner battles.

Answer 6

I don't know about you but I love me for who I am not for what I look like or the faults I have. I think you need to focus on the positive and not the negative. Who cares what anyone else thinks..Just be you!

Answer 7

Well it's ok to be different, but you have to think no one is perfect and there are worse people out there then you. Go easy on yourself and love you for you. We are all beautiful in our own way and the things you are self concious about is absolutely not worrying over. love life love you .

Answer 8

im like you too!!

i think being around people that really like you is always a good way to help it.
but when you get home again you feel down about it.
seriously.. i know what it feels to be like you, im still like that.

you have to just look in the mirror and believe in yourself. closely and it may take time, but a friend once told me i was soo pretty she didnt know why i was getting myself down.

good luck.
x

Answer 9

Hailey have a look at this site and have a think, good luck and happy new year

Answer 10

You need a professional to help you with this. Find a mental health professional and talk with him/her to find the answers.