y do men choose not to be in their childs life?

Question

i asked this q b4 but people didnt understand wat i ment. im a single mum and was wondering y do men CHOOSE not to be in their childs life.

i have tried my hardest to get my daughters dad to be in her life but he dont want to and none of his family want to either. my daughter deserves better than that. i was 7months pregnant and he just got up and walked out and i aint seen him since.my daughter is now 1

Answer 1

Could be any number of reasons; because he's immature and it seems like hard work, perhaps. Maybe he has never stopped to consider anyone but himself in this. All I would say is, in a grass is always greener sense, it can be just as hard to have your child's father in their life constantly letting them down and breaking promises than to not have him around at all.

Answer 2

Good question I wish I knew. I can't imagine not wanting to be a part of my kids lives but maybe some men are just missing some brain cells. I'm sorry to hear your having a tough time. Your daughter does deserve better but she's got you and I'm sure you will make sure she is loved enough for two parents xx

Answer 3

Just because a man did it to you doesn't mean all men do it.
Some men are not ready or mature enough to be around for their child - some dads who do stick around can be petrified and worried.
A man who has done a runner would be better able to answer this question.

Answer 4

Well, some men just can not handle it. Some men are immature. You have to make sure that the man you have sex with is committed hopefully by marriage. Men don't always choose not to be in there child's life. For whatever reason they do not think they are ready or can not be at that moment or time. If he walked out of your life go and get child support from him. What he did was not right at all. If a man gets a woman pregnant he needs to stand up and be a man.

Answer 5

its because they havent grown up yet and dont want to be faced with a great responsibility like that you cant make him and it sounds like you shouldnt for safety sakes.but get some child support!!!

Answer 6

Because they are not ready emotionally for the responsibilities that come with parenting.

Because they have been taught, all of their lives, that children don't need fathers, fathers aren't important or even that fathers are bad for a child, perhaps because they had a bad father themselves.

Because they've been taught, all their lives, that caring for children was womens work, leaving them thinking they are less 'manly' if they care (for children or anything).

Because mom blocks them, makes it hard for them, degrades them, tells them they're doing things wrong instead of encouraging them & treating them with respect, which makes it easier for them to give into any of the above reasons & just give up.

And, I, too will echo the sentiment that not every man is like this. In my life I know men who are awesome fathers, both married & divorced. And, I know men who are not as involved as they should be, too. I also know women who are awesome mothers, both married and divorced -and- women who are not very caring mothers at all.

Answer 7

not all men are like this. my brother in laws ex has 3 kids 2 to him and she refuses point blank to let him see them.

Answer 8

thats so unfair on men not all men are like that there are a lot of single dads out there too.. some are bad fathers not all.. and try looking at a single dad to daughters im sure its not easy for them to explain about periods and stuff ive great admiration for all of them

Answer 9

every body is saying not all men are like this, well I am still with my hubby and we have 2 boyz aged 12 an 13, and he wants nothing to do with them, and we all live in the same house. When the boyz walk in he just ignores them as if they are not there, he plays mental games with there heads, and I can answer back, but they cant. So plz dont force your babies father to see her, you never know he could be like my A**hole! Hope that this helps you.

Answer 10

Men have very few driving forces... Fear, Love, Hunger, Lust.., come to think of it I believe there are seven of them. Anyway men don't have the advantage women do, they don't know they are afraid... just that they feel wrong and need to fight of flight?

Fear in one form or another is the prime mover in most men today! Only a few of the sub-cultures show men how to deal with their fears in a constructive way, so they run away, and don't look back.

There is no right of passage into adulthood to teach men, except in a few tribal and religious sub-cultures. That's the heart of the Men's movement, and why books like "Iron John" are so important. I find it a shame that the public school system does not teach this, or how to handle money, or several other things.

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