One of my best friends of 15 years is getting married to a man that 'everyone' feels is the wrong person for her in so many ways. I know that I will be asked to be a bridesmaid. Do I say yes or no to becoming a bridesmaid when I feel that this decision could ruin the rest of her life?
2007-12-30 21:54:42 · 31 answers · asked by Xpat in Asia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She is your friend, i would be there for her...Say yes for her, doesnt matter about him.
2007-12-30 21:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You decline. It's not fair to your friend to have a bridesmaid who feels the way you do. It is best for her to have those people around her who are happy for her. By the way, you probably do have good reason to dislike her fiance. He's probably a creep and very wrong for her. So, the best thing to tell her is that you hope she's happy but you unfortunately in all good conscience can not accept her gracious invitation as your own heart is just not into it.
2008-01-01 23:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may address your concern to the bride. Then go ahead with it if you think you can. My best friend died last year, in 2006, and I stepped in to help her daughter plan her wedding. (In fact, I paid for a great deal of it.) I did not like her fiance, but went through with the planning and made the best of it. The marriage is on the rocks at the moment, after less than a year. And I am still there for her. I'm not sure she would have turned to me if I had stepped out of the wedding and refused to help her. You can't know what the future will bring. They may be together 50 wonderful years. They may split before the wedding photos get developed. Be there for your friend if you can.
2007-12-31 18:49:26 · answer #3 · answered by Ara57 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a really tough situation. If it were me, I would not stand up at the wedding if I really diapproved of her choice. If he is really awful (jobless, emotionally or physically abbusive, addict, etc.) then you don't want to "enable" her and go on like everything's normal. Really ask yourself if he's a bad guy or just not as good as you had envisioned for your friend. Sometimes we hold our friends up so highly that no one is good enough for them.
Either way I would still attend the wedding. Just know that if you decline to be her bridesmaid, you should expect her to be more distant as a friend as long as she remains married to this guy. This is a moral issue so make sure your heart is in the right place before you make a decision.
2007-12-31 15:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I SEE IT LIKE THIS. YOU ARE DOING IT FOR HER AND NOT HIM!! IF YOU ARE A GOOD FRIEND AND VALUE THE FRIENDSHIP THEN DO IT FOR HER!!! GOOD LUCK!
2007-12-31 14:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by InToChIcK 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It would make a difference to me WHY you dislike the guy.
If it's just that you feel that he's just not right for her, I'd accept and be supportive.
If he's a known cheater, substance abuser, alcoholic, pedophile, or convicted felon, that's a different story. I would decline, tell her that you love her and you will always be her friend, but let her know why you have serious reservations about the guy.
2007-12-31 13:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will be there for her that day not for him. Therefore you should support your friend.
2007-12-31 13:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs. S 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
The point of bridesmaids and groomsmen is for them to stand up and support you in your new marriage.
People they're not there just to look nicely dressed and party the night away with you. There is a purpose for them being up there with you and it isn't only to help you out with planning the wedding or throwing you a bachlorette party.
If you don't support her in her decision it would be hypocritical to stand up for her don't you think?
2007-12-31 12:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by cal_gal_81 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are there for her not him. You should let her know how you feel but be there to support her no matter what.
2007-12-31 12:21:03 · answer #9 · answered by ஐ♥Vanessa♥ஐ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If you are able to accept that this is who she's chosen even if it's who you wouldn't have chosen for her, then yes. If you cannot accept it, then it will come out in bad ways during the wedding planning process. She needs friends who will support the marriage 100%. Being a bridesmaid isn't just about putting on a dress and standing with her, it's about standing BEHIND her as she enters this new stage of her life, and she will need your support to weather the trials of marriage.
2007-12-31 12:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by dingding 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say yes she is your best friend even though you have her interest in mond it is her life and even if this is a mistake as her best friend you should stand by her and be there for her.
2007-12-31 11:05:36 · answer #11 · answered by Green_eyes 69 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋