I'm the oldest of four in my family, and basically, the family loser. My parents are still supporting me, and I'm still trying to decide what to do with my life. My sister is in grad school and is doing everything right, and my parents are well-off professionals who have always been successful. It's hard to get everything in order, partly because of me, but also because I feel like they're used to me in this role now, and don't think I would be good at anything. I kind of agree with them, because I haven't really been very good at anything in the past. I feel inferior to everyone in my family, but also to people in general. Should I just stop whining, and improve myself so I don't feel like this? Also, since I'm 27 and have been like this as long as I can remember, do you think I'll have this complex forever? If so, I'm prepared to just accept it and move on (which I've kind of already done). Thanks.
2007-12-30 20:42:38 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Another thing is that whenever we discuss "my future" or some other heavy BS like that, my dad will say things like "You're not good at X" or "X isn't going to work out", and I hear the same things literally over and over. He also tells me all the time how my problems are affecting him, and I feel like he's just using me to let off steam. I think sometimes he's really talking to himself when I'm there, because when I say something or cut him off, he'll keep going. And he also brings up things that happened in the past that frustrated him, like when I dropped out of college (I'm right now about to go back, and I just wasn't ready when I was younger, which happens to lots of people). I think he feels like some kind of failure for the way I turned out. What should I do about this?
2007-12-31 06:21:16 · update #1
all ways carry and use a mirror
2007-12-30 21:29:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
never lose heart and make ur life as independent as possible. only lack of independence, both financially and academically, lead to inferiority complex.
2007-12-30 21:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by Ahmed Zia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When you say your sister is doing everything "right" what is it you are doing that is "wrong"? Since when as success at something determined whether it is right or wrong? I am also 27 and still trying to find what is right for me to do, and what I want to do with my life. It's not wrong to try and to fail, if you need help and your parents are willing and able to give it, then be grateful. But keep trying. No matter how much your parents are used to you being in that role, or what their expectations (or lack thereof) are for you, they will not be there forever. Think hard about what things you enjoy doing, and work on them. Maybe you love taking care of animals- get a job at a pet grooming shop and work towards opening your own. Maybe you have a knack for getting people to see your point of view, look at careers in some sort of sales field. No, these are not things that people consider "successful" professions. But can you support yourself and be fulfilled doing them? YES. Am I telling you to start washing dogs or selling cars, no, just to start looking at success in a different way.
2007-12-30 20:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by mainjd 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you call yourself the family loser. Worry about yourself, forget about the other people. Stop comparing yourself to others accomplishments do you actually think you are the only one with your situation. What do you like to do? what are you good at that other people are not. Some people are just late bloomers. People are just people no matter what they say. I know the best plumbers and the best workers around you know how I know this? they told me so. Doesn't mean they are the best at what they do though. What I am trying to say is that people bullsh*t about themselves 24-7 and don't take into account what anybody tells you about themselves. It's a load of crap that just helps them deal with their inferiority's.
2007-12-30 20:53:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not accept it.
What you need is to wake up, out of the hypnotic dream state which is the morass of your thinking.
Emerge into the Light of Truth.
free streaming audio mental exercise online. It works
2007-12-30 20:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by who WAS #1? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find you a fella and marry him and settle down it will all work itself out
its amazing when challenged how the secure successful woman that you are will come out
2007-12-30 20:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by crazzijimsmith 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i can understand
u have to try ur best then only u can feel goood
ur lucky ur family supporting u
2007-12-30 20:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by yash 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Speak more, listen more, read more, develop an opinion on things, amplify your strenghts identify your weaknesses and work on it.
Find out what you enjoy and start doing it. Know that your opinion counts and that your are worth the air you breathe.
2007-12-30 20:46:37 · answer #8 · answered by Antas17 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋