Please critique my cover page! Please!?

Question

I would really appreciate it, I really need and want this job! some things are missing, such as my address etc..
Dear Sir/Madam,
In response to your advertisement for a file clerk, I have enclosed my resume consideration. My experience in the administrative department as well business and education makes me readily adaptable to your needs. I offer solid proficiency in Microsoft Word, Publisher, Outlook, Excel and PowerPoint. I am also proficient in filing, copying, faxing, emailing and using the internet.

My day to day experience in typing, computer knowledge and filing reflects a high level of motivation, efficiency and ability to meet objectives. I can work in a fast paced environment, consistently providing quality customer service that can be a valuable assist to your team. In addition to your request for salary information, my past salary was $15,600 per year.

I welcome the opportunity to meet with you for a interview. You may reach me at _____

they wanted to know my past salary amount.

Answer 1

Try this- I mainly rearranged what you had and corrected a couple of typos (VERY important). Hope it helps! Good luck!


01/01/08

Dear (put the contact person's name if you have it),

I am writing in response to your advertisement for a file clerk at XXX. My education and experience in business and administrative departments makes me readily adaptable to your needs. In addition to extensive experience filing, copying, faxing, using email and the internet, I am proficient in Microsoft Word, Publisher, Outlook, Excel and PowerPoint.

You will find me to be a motivated, efficient, and flexible employee. I can work in a fast paced environment, consistently meeting objectives while providing quality customer service. I believe I will be a valuable asset to your team. I have enclosed my resume for review.

I look forward to the opportunity to meet with you in person. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I may provide additional information. You may reach me by email at ________ or phone _________. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
You

Answer 2

It's good but here's how I would fix it up a little:

Dear Sir/Madam,
In response to your advertisement for a file clerk, I have enclosed my resume for your consideration.

My experience in the administrative department as well business and education has made me readily adaptable to your needs. I offer solid proficiency in Microsoft Word, Publisher, Outlook, Excel and PowerPoint. I am also proficient in filing, copying, faxing, emailing and using the internet.

My day to day experience in typing, computer knowledge and filing reflects a high level of motivation, efficiency and ability to meet objectives. I can work in a fast paced environment, consistently providing quality customer service that can be a valuable asset to your team. In addition to your request for salary information, my previous salary was $15,600 per year.

I welcome the opportunity to meet with you for a interview and am excited to fill this position. You may reach me at _____

Answer 3

There are a few grammatical errors...but that just might be from typing it out on yahoo. But do a really good job editing it as that is a big no-no on resumes.

Also, I don't know that you want to put the amount you made at your previous job. It can limit the amount of money you could get for the job. Usually when they request salary information, they want to know what kind of pay you are looking to receive. A non-committal response would be that salary is "negotiable".

It might not seem like a big deal, but if this job pays an average of 20-30k a year, they could decide to offer you 18k because you might accept it as it's an increase from your past employment.

Good luck with the job!

Answer 4

Very nice cover page. Just one suggestion. In the sentence:
"I can work in a fast paced environment, consistently providing quality customer service that can be a valuable assist to your team." Change the word "assist" to "asset."

You definitely have what it takes to get hired. Good luck!

Answer 5

Overall, your cover letter looks well. The only change I would suggest is in your first paragraph, the first sentence which reads:

"In response to your advertisement for a file clerk, I have enclosed my resume consideration."

You may want to make a slight change as indicated below:

In response to your advertisement for a file clerk, I have enclosed my resume for your consideration.

Answer 6

I would suggest that you may want to swap out some of the "icients". Proficient is used twice as well as efficient within a couple small paragraphs.

Also, it at all possible, speak to them on salary rather than listing it. It's like setting it in stone.

Answer 7

I have a file clerk job and you can have it, at first I loved it but now it sucks and i wish you could have my job. lol
the cover page sounds great

Answer 8

1

I have enclosed my resume consideration
I have enclosed my resume for your considerations.


2

In addition to your request for salary information,
In response to your request for salary information; (semi colon needed as well, not comma)


3

consistently providing quality customer service that can be

; and consistenly provide outstanding customer service, which will make me a valuable asset to your team.


4

My experience in the administrative department as well as business and education makes me readily adaptable to your needs

My specific experience in the administration department; in addition to a wide range of other business skills, combined with my educational background makes me readily adaptable to your needs.

Answer 9

Can you get a phenomenal handwritten letter from a previous employer? I did, and it gave me one hell of a cover page.

I mean, your cover page is nice. Professional. But just... bland.

But it's written well and I have no doubt that some employer, somewhere, will accept you. Keep in mind that an incredible resume isn't anywhere near as effective as an incredible personality. When you hand your resume in, don't leave it at the front desk. You introduce yourself to the decision maker, and you shine.... and then hand him/her your resume.

Answer 10

Maybe instead of using the word "assist" you could use the word asset? And You should add that you're open to disscussing a salary. Good luck!!!