I went through a tough time with a guy friend, and I want to know that he has hurt me. I want to say that I've cried alot, but should I leave this part out? My friends always say never to tell a guy you've cried over him b/c it just gives him power.. I don't know how I feel about this statement.
2007-12-30 17:40:25 · 23 answers · asked by mellei 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
F*ck that whole psychological crap about him having power over you. My boyfriend and I have seen the best and the worst of eachother, we have seen eachother cry multiple times.... If it makes him more powerful then so be it ( I don't believe this though). If he is your best friend he should know you well, and if he hurt you he will CARE that he hurt you and want to make it up to you. I wouldn't just randomly say "hey u made me cry!" but I would bring it up in a nice way and tell him what he did to upset you and how much it hurt you. You dont necessarily have to say you cried, but show him that it hurt you by talking about it. Don't listen to your friend. It's not always good to let people see you at your weak points.... but in order for someone to get to know you well and love you for everything you are, they have to see all your ups and downs and everything in between to truly understand you. If they don't like what they see, then they aren't for you!!! Good luck :)
2007-12-30 17:47:24 · answer #1 · answered by *the dancing machine* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want him to know that he hurt you, you should just let him know straight out that he hurt you. You don't have to say how you reacted to it, but if you feel that you want to, go ahead.
I don't know about if you tell a guy you cried over him that it gives him power. If he genuinely cares about you, he won't use that power against you.
2007-12-31 01:47:10 · answer #2 · answered by SMILE4LISA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well depends on the guy if hes the person that it would give him power if you let him know that you've cried then don't talk to him and don't tell him. but if hes the guy that is a little more sympathetic then telling him would make him feel bad about what he has don't to you.
2007-12-31 01:48:21 · answer #3 · answered by ThatEmoDude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is right. What do you hope to gain by telling him anyway? Do you want him to say, "I'm sorry"? It doesn't work like that. You're sensitive and emotional. Guys we're logical and rational. With that being said he's not going to share in your pain unless he knows he hurt you. Do you think he's going to admit that especially if he hasn't already? All you will do is annoy him because to us that's like,"So what do you want me to do about it?" Not to be assholes about it, but what's done is done. If you didn't say anything about it when it happened, what makes you think I want to hear about it two weeks later? Feel me? That's just how we are. Listen to your friend. You'll end up feeling worse than you do now because you wont get the response that you want, or it wont be sincere.
Feel me?
2007-12-31 02:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes tell him you cried, let him know how he hurt you, he only has power if you give it to him, and let him know that the day you stop crying is the day he will be getting the hell out of your life.
2007-12-31 01:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by I am women 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not tell him that you cried, but I will ask a common friend to tell him that. That way, he will know you still have feeling for him. But, if he didnt react , I think you should let him go. Its meant he dont really care any more.
2007-12-31 01:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Bionicgirlz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him and if he does use it to "have power over you" then you know he's not truly your friend because a friend wouldn't do that. Also the only way he can acheive power over you is if you let him, you have got to be strong in your foundation and no one will be able to move you.
2007-12-31 01:48:13 · answer #7 · answered by Shawt-E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see if you tell him that you cried 2 things he can think of 1 feel bad for his actions and maybe he appoligizes but he knows your weak side 2 not care because he is like every other guy who dont care. if he goes with #1 he realized his action he may keep doing it to make you get more mad/ cry. if he is going with #2 that will just make you more mad and cry again.... But if you dont let him know and move on for better things in life you feel better and not cry anymore....
2007-12-31 01:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by dirtyTURK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him when we get that i cried over you words in our hearts we turn into mush lol you need to always let him know how you feel because thats the best thing to do so yea tell him things will get better i promise
2007-12-31 01:44:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what type of person he is. To keep in short, if hes sensitive you'll most likely make him feel bad if hes well the opposite... He will feel like he's in control of you and that he can treat you the same way again.
2007-12-31 01:45:10 · answer #10 · answered by Keelan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋