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At the moment, Im stuck in between two amazing guys. Ones my own age, Ive been with him for 3 months now, my parents LOVE him. The others a new friend; a new senior friend (Im only a freshman). He's wonderful, I love him. But there are so many reasons I cannot be with him:

1. Hes almost 18.
2. What about after he grads? (He wants to be a Navy SEAL, eek.)
3. My parents do not approve, and I cannot "date".
4. He doesnt want me to break up with my current boyfriend to be with him and start "drama".

BLEH. And you have to remember i like them both alot, but I think Id rather be with the senior? Any advice?
What should I do!?

2007-12-30 16:58:04 · 30 answers · asked by Kindle 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

30 answers

hmmm... I remember being a freshman years ago and since everyone knows women are so much more mature than men ;) I can understand why you attracted to the older man, I still am. But look beyond maturity and the appeal of dating the "cute senior" and look at your potential future with both guys. Your first red flag is your parents disapproving. Trust me, you don't want to resort to sneaking around to see some guy you probably won't ever see after he graduates. That can create havoc with your parents trust in you and majorly put a damper on your high school experience and future "dating." The next red flag is that he is leaving shortly and then what? Ask yourself if you would be happy with being the girl he writes to every couple of weeks while in the meanwhile you miss out on potentially great guys at school. The final red flag is that he doesn't want you to break up with your current man (who apparently doesn't know your seeing this other guy.?.) Really if this guy thought you were worth it, he would want you to break up with your man and be with him. Ask yourself why your not worth the "drama" to him? Could it be that he wants nothing to do with commitment? Sure sounds like it.. Of course when I was your age all the red flags were actually more enticing so maybe that's why you like him? Bad boy vs. good guy? Trust me, it's not worth the heartache. Momma really does know best!!

2007-12-30 17:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Hi there,

You are already in a relationship for 3 months and you sound like you willingly to break up with him for a guy that knows you have a boyfriend. He's 18 and guaranteed he will not be around for long because he is leaving after he graduates which will be in 6 months (which will go by so quickly.) Older guys are tempting because they have this characteristic that makes us all young girls jump and have to have more of. But in reality it is better to be with someone the same age because both are going through the same things (prom, Sadie's, homecoming, all the great party's) at the same time. So basically the guy your age will ALWAYS be there for you. That's something the 18 year old CAN'T do. (100% guaranteed) Where the 18 year old will NEVER be around to make you smile and PHYSICALLY be there to hold you and pick you up.

You are young don't waste your time worried about guys, they will always be there. However there is you and only one you, shouldn't you be making yourself happy instead frustrated over guys that might not be in your life in the next year?

Lastly let me add with all problems/experience I have seen/heard from my friends getting with the older guy is a mistake. The one the same age will treat you much better than the older guy. The older guy will take advantage of you because all you want to do is love him and want him to love you back just as much .... they never will. The freedom the get when they are out of High School makes them carless. The relationship will leave you burned to a crisp. However your love future is your choice and your choice only. (=

Hope this help.

Good Luck

2007-12-30 17:17:55 · answer #2 · answered by MsCuRvy0 2 · 1 0

Reason number 4 is the best reason to not try and get with him. If he doesn't want you, then it's pointless. Frankly, I think he's being the smart one here.

You, on the other hand, what the hell are you doing being with any one single boy at your age? You're a freshman, so you're what, 14 or 15? My advice, which you'll probably ignore anyway, is DON'T BE WITH EITHER.

You've got alot more important things to do with your life right now than be all wrapped up in/with a boyfriend. That doesn't mean don't socialize with guys, just keep it casual, and don't waste alot of time and energy on high school relationships that almost never last anyway.

2007-12-30 17:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by Bill F 5 · 0 0

Your a freshman!!! Be a freshman!!!!! It is highly unlikely that any relationship you have right now will last until your married. But it is nice to dream though!!! And it is good to start building a pattern of only dating those that you think or believe will last at least for a while. Though there is nothing wrong with dating alot of different guys before your married just dont get sexual with all of them if you end up being sexual with any of them. Your parents are just being good parents. They love you and care about you!!! They are prolly afraid to let you date at all let alone an older possibly more experienced guy. Understand that!! I know it is tempting to date the older guy for prolly many reasons. Every young girl wants to date an older guy. Heck even a lot of grown woman like dating older guys. No one can tell you what to do. Your parents will play a part in slowing you down but I was a teenager once and no it was impossible to stop me. I snuck!!! But I do not advise it. As an adult I say stay with the guy that is your age or find another guy your age that you like more. But once again I remember what it was like to be a teenage girl. And I see no harm in dating as long as your not putting yourself in danger and not having sex or at least make sure you are protected if you do!!! You do not want to end up pregnant or with any diseases at such a young age. I just learned while pregnant that over 70% of unmarried sexually active americans in my State alone has HERPES and that number is growing. It is very scary. Good Luck and Stay SAFE!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-30 17:17:14 · answer #4 · answered by BefTweety 3 · 0 0

Stay with the one your own age. You obviously care about him to be with him for 3 months. The senior is just an infatuation that you'll get over; especially after he graduates. Besides, he doesn't seem too concerned about it. Don't make a mistake that you'll soon regret.

If you're having this many problems deciding on a guy, you may be better off staying single so that you are free to date anyone you want.

2007-12-30 17:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 1 · 0 0

well I would say from experience when you are 14 -15 your mentality is much diff rent then an 18 year old even though you don't think so now your still young and naive trust me I'm 22 and learned this the hard way really think about it 18 year old boys have one thing on there mind and believe me its not about your future together if your parents don't like him there is a good chance there is a reason im sure you will make the right decision

2007-12-30 17:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by brheanna 1 · 0 0

Your young and have alot to live for yet. Ditch em both neither one will be good enough for ya once you get out of high school . the one your hanging with your age will not be smart enough. the Senior will be out of the navy long befor he will ever get into seal training and then you will be disappointed in the whole thing. Your young and need to enjoy life while you can

2007-12-30 17:07:10 · answer #7 · answered by are ya fer real 5 · 0 0

Gosh, this is hard. However, i wouldnt think you are getting serious with either one of them. This is highschool, freshman love, yes it happens but its not gonna last forever. Stay with the younger one, the senior is looking for some actionnnn, no matter how many times he denies it. Thats exactly what happened to me, now i'am a mother. So, this is highschool, DONT GET SERIOUS, have fun, live your life dont worry about love.

2007-12-30 17:01:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

well ok this is kinda how i was in, but im the senior almost turning 18 at the end of the school year, so coming from the older guys point of view, first dose he honestly care about you like dose he show you, ask him questions that he should already know and see how fast he can think of the right answers, cuz i was in this situation sorta, expect there was no other guy it was just me and her, but (here comes the drama), her brother is one of my friends and he is way overprotective of her, so we couldn't just be out in public, plus she didn't want her friends her age(14) wanting to know so she'd hid me from people, she told her sister and her sister hated me from the start cuz her sister is my age and thinks its wrong and long story short we dont talk anymore we got into a mojar arrugement and its over, but i wish she would have chosen me insteed of listening to everyone else telling her and telling me it wasn't ment to be, but if he truly cares for you and you truly care for him go for it, screw everyone else

2007-12-30 17:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by gottowin21@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0 0

since u like both, why don't u follow ur parents and listen to them?
that would be more logical.as they are more experienced and know what is god for u..
It is natural that u get attracted to elder one as u may be impressed with his knowledge but the fact remains that dating an older person will less interesting as he will expect a mature behaviour from u in different situations, secondly with older people ideas do not match.

2007-12-30 17:05:32 · answer #10 · answered by asha v 2 · 0 0

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