Why people choose church by worship style and people/ leadership at the church?

Question

How can I chose a right church? Why do people choose church by worship style/ people @ church and the leadership? I've been attending this church for a while. First it was okay. As more I attend there, I am realizing that church leaders are not very spiritual. They drink wine and uploaded on facebook. I've seen them cuss like once. The leader dont focus too much on the bible outside of worship service. They focus too much on fellowship, not on Mission, and Great Commission. As more I go there, it feels like leaders are not really having personal relationship with God, or not really fired up, but they are repeatedly doing it, leading worship just because it is Sunday. If I feel emotionally not healthy because I tend to judge the leaders, is it okay to move church? I know that I need to serve people, but it is hard to love the leaders at my church becuase they seemed hypocrites and I am not being fed. If you had to move church before, how did you choose?

Answer 1

Sorry about your experience..Remember that God wants us in church for 2 reasons....1) To worship Him 2) To help those He has created to become closer to Him (us hypocrits)

There isnt a "perfect church" because church is made up of imperfect people like you and me. Its more of a hospital than a pagent (though pagentry can play a part in worship).

I couldnt find a "perfect church" but I did find one that made me feel at "home" and close to God. He will lead you to one too or have you minister to those who are weak where youre at now.

Answer 2

I found my present church by accident -- there was an article in the paper about how this church was doing things very differently and how cutting-edge it was in worship style.

I went to investigate and do some research for another church where I was working. It was cool, but I wasn't too thrilled with it.

However, right away at the church where I was working, things started to get really bad, lots of conflict, people leaving, new pastors who didn't preach from the Bible and who were vindictive and manipulative. I suffered a lot of spiritual abuse from them myself, and I, all the other staff, and 1/2 the congregation left.

While I was going through all that, my daughter asked me if she could go to church somewhere new, and of course I said yes. I decided to take her to the church I had visited.

That was a really great worship service --the messages are really strong and intelligent, and challenging. What clinched it as our church that day,though, was that they did a song by Evanescence, my daughter's favorite group at the time. She was even wearing a t-shirt that day from one of their concerts. When they finished, she looked at me and said, mom, this is my new church.

We have been there several years now, and I am always amazed at how far God has brought me since that other horrible place. I'm in a new church job, starting a new career, and have grown so much, spiritually. Most amazing though is my daughter's relationship with Christ --she has a deeper and more mature understanding of spiritual things than most adults.

I really urge you to not hesitate to leave. Looking back, I don't know why I stayed put in that other bad church for more than five minutes. There are too many good churches with healthy congregations out there for you where you will grow, be challenged and fed.

Answer 3

It's perfectly alright to change churches. It sounds like it's time you did! I would choose a new church by attending 2 or 3 different ones for a while and getting to know the leaders/people. Then you can choose the best one for you! Good luck...Blessings!

Answer 4

I would choose by how comfortable I felt. I've been to many churches where it was a struggle to stay awake or where everyone seemed hopped up on speed. I am a calm person but I'm not boring. If all they do is read the bible, I'm outta there. I can do that alone. I need someone to explain what it means and give REAL LIFE STORIES on what is written. I need someone to make me feel like the bible isn't an outdated piece of crap.

Answer 5

My husband and I have tried attending a few different churches before we settled on a home church and there are some really great criteria to look for. One is the consistency of the leadership to the word of God. The character of the leaders is showing through and you need better than that to grow. We've always found that if we surround ourselves with strong believers whose hearts are full of love and grace - we too become stronger. It's okay to move to another church in a situation like this - if they have everything else right - and it's not super exciting or just right - then you're being picky and judgmental -but in this case - you need people with strong character. I find that when I've attended churches where the leadership was passed down from generation to generation in a family and was the joy and life service of a person - they tend to have better character. When a person has not been in a pastorate for long - they are not going to tell you the real reason for the move - alot of pastors have conflicts, and get kicked out of churches because of a lack of outstanding character. Now - it is hard because I have found that it can take 5 years or more to really see a person's character show through. You can actually believe in someone so much that you are blind to their faults and then I've ended up getting drawn into false teaching - it's really Jesus you need to focus on - so if you're not seeing Him - you're not in the right place. If you find that this is happening to you - then you're being deceived and you really need to move on for your own spiritual health - because they will lead you down the wrong path. Unfortunately - it can take time to find the right spiritual home but you certainly don't want to tithe to a church where they are teaching falsehood and flawed character to your family right? I'm sorry this has happened to you. I was in the middle of a church split because of poor leaders once and it was so painful - but we did eventually have to leave it and one person in particular who totally lead us astray from the word of God. We did find through visiting a few different churches a really amazing one where most people we know there have been there for years and the pastor has been there for years and they have better character than us - it makes me grow. They are very strong in character and faith - and they never feel sorry for me in any of my challenges but they totally support me in everything and help me to grow. They are bible focused as well as ministry, community and mission focused - so I know when I give my tithe - it's not just to give it. It's going for the best purposes. Goodness, everytime I leave worship - I've been challenged and energized and put into a state of reverent fear by the word of God and the testimony that the leadership in my church exhibits in service and love.

Answer 6

Unfortunately many chose church as a social outlet or somewhere that their ego is fulfilled. We should be looking for the tradition and group that takes us further on our path - no matter what that is... may be a church... maybe not.

Answer 7

the word says that you'll know them by the fruits that they bear and it doesn't sound like they are bearing the right fruits to me. when someone as yourself desires truth and has a hungry heart God will show and direct you to that place that he wants you to be. Just make sure wherever you go its truth, and trust me God will show u so long as you keep a sincere heart towards him. The Word of God is Truth in its fullness.
God Bless :)

Answer 8

It is time to go shopping at another church

Answer 9

Is that Jesse Jackson's church? Sure sounds like it.