What is the kindest way to deter an admirer who is alcoholic?

Question

I am good friends with an ex-colleague and he's a very sensitive and caring man, but being an alcoholic he annoys me by turning up at my house uninvited and if I see him on an evening he's already drunk and behaves stupidly and suggestively. I'd keep him as a friend but he wants more, and he gets touchy and sulky if I reject his affection. How should I handle this?

Answer 1

Be totally direct with him. Tell him you need a call before he arrives on your doorstep. If you don't like his behaviour when he is drunk, only agree to meet up with him when he is sober and leave when he starts getting drunk. When he starts to sulk, just get up and leave. No law says you have to put up with his behaviour.

Alcoholics generally have poor boundaries. Start setting your own and have sanctions if he can't keep to them.

If he can't understand that you are serious about not wanting to go out with him and can't respect your boundaries, you have every right to reject him as a friend. Friends are people you feel comfortable with, not those who put you on edge because of their behaviour.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

you cant mince your words with an alcoholic. he probably doesnt know or hasnt accepted that hes an alcoholic and he will never do so if you dont be straight with him. He needs to find AA. it worked for me. im still touchy and sulky though lol

Answer 4

If you really care about him as a friend, start talking to him about GOD and quote scriptures to him. If this doesn't work resort calling the police on him when he acts that way towards you EVERY TIME. If you keep letting this go on, he could possibly hurt you while he's drunk.

Answer 5

next time hes at ur house pour him a drink,then another and another,till he can hardly stand up,then shove him out the door saying "my boyfreinds comming round" he will try to run off but probably get hit by a bus.

Answer 6

You got too be strong and tell him that you are only friends, it will only get worse!! Better still is not to see him anymore and find some other friends...

Answer 7

break a bottle of whiskey on the ground in front of him drunks can't stand alcohol abuse

Answer 8

he's unstable, why do you care so much about hurting his feelings? He doesn't seem at all to care much about yours.

If he persists in his advances, simply tell him that you are not interested in his lifestyle choices, and if he pushes it further, tell him that you think he has substance abuse issues, and that you're not interested in being involved with anyone like that.

Truthful, direct, and not offensive.

Answer 9

buy some livers from the butchers, wait for them to go skanky then when he comes round throw the livers in his face and scream "F*CK OFF PISS HEAD YOUR BODY IS FULL OF SKANKY ORGANS LIKE THIS ONE! TAKE THAT! AND THAT!"

Answer 10

pinch his booze.it may not get rid of him, but you wont care as much