Do anyone have advice for me getting married at my age?

Question

I am 19 y.o. and my boyfriend has plans to propose to me, he is 20 y.o. and is in the Navy. He is supposed to leave in about 5 months to his next duty station and he wants me to go with him. We are in love and have been for over a year, do anyone have any advice for me? (I do not need criticism) Both of our families approve of the marriage but I just want to see how other feel about us getting married at this age and what I should look out for....thanx in advance!

Answer 1

Go through pre-marital counseling. It will make you feel more secure in your decision, let others see that you are serious, and iron out any kinks in your relationship.

Answer 2

No matter what your age, watching him go off to the military, especially in these horrible times, is going to be tough and emotionally demanding in ways that you cannot even dream of.

I will warn you that, being younger, it will be more difficult. It is possible however. You will be a newlywed, still young and changing, and alone. When you are so young, you have not completely become the person you will be when you are a few years older, and instead of becoming that person WITH your husband, you will both become your own people, separately. You will probably both change in major ways being so far apart. He might wind up coming back a completely different person. Or he might come back and it be like a second honeymoon and you two might fall in love all over again.

It really depends on your determination. Love is A VERY DIFFICULT thing. Marriage takes a lasting committment that many people don't have. And you will be entering into a marriage that will take it's toll on you right away.

If you are willing to make the sacrifices, commit to him and he to you, and willing to be lonely off and on for quite awhile, and stress about his safety and take care of a household alone, etc. etc. than I say go for it. Just make sure you realize what you are getting into before you do it.

Many have done what you are going to do and it has come out wonderfully in the end.

And by the way, I cannot say much about the age thing because I Just turned 20 last month and will be married in June. Hehe.

But good luck in all of this. May you have a beautiful and happy wedding and, more importantly, marriage.

Answer 3

Don't marry him right now, sweetie. You're too young, you have no degree, you have no way to get those great jobs.. Get back in school while your sweetie is away, and get that education. Here's what my mom began hammering into my head when I was 13.

1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry. Choose with your head as well as your heart.
2. Have no children until your bond is strong, and have no more than you yourself can support. You may just have to
3. At any and all costs finish your education to qualify for those high paying jobs. It is likely that you will work sometime during your marriage, probably for decades…. Get paid for it. And remember, your kids and your education are forever…. Husbands, lovers and promises are not!!
4. Have a stash of cash no one knows about even if you are sure you will never need it. You absolutely will, and the more the better

If you ever choose to be a parent, each kid will cost you $250,000, to age 18 (how old you were last years) Notice that is no college, and no frills. No braces, no special art lessons, no summer camps, nuttin'

If he's your honey for life, wait until you are prepared to take life on!!!

Because of these, saw all the traps before falling into them... and got to retire at 48!!!! traveled all over the world and still doing so.... all the best, sweetie, and these sent to you with love from my mom.

Answer 4

-People are still developing through ages 18-25, and the person you are today, or the person you marry this year, may not be the same person from age 30 on. Ask yourself if you are willing to learn to grow to love him no matter what. If your answer is no, do not marry yet. The highest rate for divorce is for marriages that occur before age 25.

-Be aware that it is not uncommon for those in the military to "rush" into marriage, and that it is not uncommon for these marriages to have infidelity (although I am not applying this to all military marriages of course).

-Be prepared to have to spend a lot of time alone.

My best advice is to sit down and really think about this. If you are OK with the above, military life is for you, and you want to be a young mom, then by all means I wish you all the best.

But if you want to get a university degree, build a career, and spend a lot of time with your husband, you might want to wait.

Just make sure you really know what marriage (and who you are) is about. I suggest pre-martial counselling. If you belong to a church, your minister or priest can help you. Note that pre-Cana classes are required for marriage in the Catholic church.

Answer 5

I guess this will feel like criticism, but I don't think teens getting married is a good idea if you want this marriage to last a lifetime. Statistically, only 20% of couples who marry under the age of 25 make it--just think if you were about to have elective surgery, and the doctor told you there was a 20% chance you'd live, but an 80% chance you'd die, would you still choose to have the surgery?

Answer 6

I was married at 19 this past summer. My husband was 21. We were young but our friends and family approved also. It's been amazing and hard at the same time. I advise pre-marital counseling, it will help you see what you need to work on and so forth. For getting married at 19, I don't regret a thing. A lot of friends I graduated with are already married or engaged now so where I am from getting married young isn't a big deal. But good luck!

Answer 7

Speaking as a couples and marriage therapist, I can tell you that marriages at such a young age have a VERY high divorce rate. The reason is simple; developmentally speaking, you and he will be far different people in a few short years with different needs and goals than you have currently.

What's the rush? Can't you still be together without getting married?

Answer 8

I'm just now getting married but I did serve in the Navy, and from what a lot of my shipmates experienced that marriage is hard in general, in the military it is even tougher. Don't rush into anything just beacause he is going to his next duty station. If you guys are truly in love then you can afford to take the time to slow down and not rush into anything. The odds not in your favor but if you both are truly in love and are commited to making it work then good luck to the both of you.

Answer 9

I think you guys are BOTH very young. People do alot of changing between 18 and 25 years old. You and your husband will have to work together so that you both grow together, rather than grow apart. This will be even more of a challenge, since he's in the military service, and will be deployed as part of his job.

Personally, I would wait, but that's me. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 10

No one can tell you if you are too young, I think that you are scared of what people will think, but that shouldn't matter if you are truly in love with him, then you shouldn't worry about what others think, I am 21 my fiance is 24, we are getting married in 2009, I don't care what others think, I just know that I love him and want to be with him for the rest of my life. How long have you two been together/known each other? This might have a lot to do with your worries, maybe you are worried that people might think you two don't know each other that well and are concerned for you, I can answer that one for you as well, with my fiance and I, I moved in with him after less than 2 months of being together. In the end don't worry about what people think, or for that matter what others on yahoo Answers thinks, it is not up to them to decide what is best for you. We don't know you but you know you.... you just have to ask yourself, can you be married to this guy? Can you see yourself growing old with him? Do you love him with all of your heart? can you deal with him when he is not in the best of moods? If you have answered yes to these questions then you should not worry about it. and Happy Planning!!!

-Sarah

Answer 11

I say be engaged and let him go to his next station. When he comes back get married. young marriages have a tendency of not working out. Not because you dont love each other, but because you are too young to know what is best for you. Discover what is best for each of you then commit to each other. Grow into individuals then learn to grow together. Good luck and I hope everything works out!