My in laws don't want to be called grandma or grandpa, nana or papa. They want to be call omg and opa.?

Question

I don't know what to do or how to tell them that my son will be calling them whatever comes out of his mouth. My husband doesn't mind them being called something else and my mother-in-law thinks she has a say in what my sons called her and her husband but I have no idea on telling them I don't like the names they pick out.The names they pick are dutch and I see don't see what the problem is on my son calling them grandma or grandpa or whatever he decide to call them. Help please!!!

my in-laws are full gremary and half dutch. i try my husband how i feel but he doesn't want to hear it..

All the other grandparents are called mama or papa. My in laws really don't have any trations. My in laws think they have a say in what my sons calles them. Before omg and opa they wanted to be called apu and ya ya. I try talking to my in laws about what the name thing but they just say to me this is what we want to be called. I tell them over and over again it's up to him and what he will call and say when he is able to talk. My husband thinks I nuts for my making a big deal but I'm not, I just want to know why they wan to be called something else

Answer 1

This is not about you. This about your inlaws relationship with their grand child. The child will call them what he is taught to call them. You should respect their culture and call them by the names they choose. The fact that the names are different from most of the people around them will actually be a great thing as time goes on.

Answer 2

I'm not exactly sure what the problem is with your son calling his grandparents Oma and Opa -- those are the Dutch names for Grandma and Grandpa. Personally I think that people sort of have a right to be called what they want to be called. For example, what if your teacher decided to call his teacher by her first name when he got older? That probably wouldn't go over well, right? What if your son called you by your first name?

Answer 3

Ill start by saying that I am not always a fan of my meddling in-laws and Im also of the opinion that grandparents need to let their kids be the parents and butt out.

With that said...in my family all grandparents have special names, and in my husbands family they are all grandma and grandpa. My inlaws all thought it was strange to hear me talk about my grandparents and always commented on the "odd names". They thought it was silly to find out that my parents were actually putting a lot of thought into the names our kids would call them (DRAMA, my aunt became a grandma first and stole my mom's name LOL). My mom decided to be Yaya and we have NO greek in us at all, but thats what she picked, and its fun for the kids too believe it or not. Its one thing I have actually let them control, and I havent been any worse for it.

And you will be able to control what our son calls them. He will call them what you refer to them as. It might not come out right at first, but he'll follow your lead - same way he'll know whether its daddy or dad or pop or whatever.

This will probably be the only time I'll ever say it, but let the in-laws have this little something special. Maybe you can give your parents the option to choose special names too? They might like it!

Answer 4

I think it is cute, and your parents can be the Grandma and Grandpa. I think it is Oma and Opa which is the dutch way of saying Grandma and Grandpa. You are right that the baby will call them what he chooses, but it will be to your good graces to accommodate them in a small thing like this. It could get you some good babysitting time out. And make some brownie points, or a good start on your lifetime friendship with them. My daughter in law sent me a wonderful large bouquet of flowers before we met, and I liked her early.

Answer 5

I don't see whats the big deal? Maybe they come from a strong dutch background and want to carry on that tradition. My parents do not want any other name other than Grandma or Grandpa. Its a personal choice they have a right to make. Would you like it if someone gave you a nickname that you despised?

Answer 6

My daughter calls her grandparents by what they prefer to be called. I actually specifically brought this up and asked what thier wishes were prior to her birth and we've stuck to it. This is your child, yes, but it's thier grandchild. Think about how you would feel down the road should your child marry someone and has children and his/her spouse insists that you be called a particular name that was somethingother than what you would like to be called. How was this issue handled with your own mother... and would it be any different if she wanted to be called something you didn't particularly like? Make sure this isn't a control issue... don't buck it just because it's your in-laws and you feel like your MIL is a bit controlling. Try to be sensitive to thier feelings and wishes and don't make this about your opportunity to have some control. Thier relationship with your child will be a very special one... and it sounds like they have a lot rich cultural background to share with your son. Let them have this one - I promise it will seem normal years down the road... and it doesn't sound as bad as you think.

Best wishes!

Answer 7

Personally, I would respect their feelings & encourage my kids to call them by the names that they prefer.

You say that your child will call them whatever comes out of his mouth, as if he gets to make up the name. And, maybe he will - maybe he will mispronounce it in a way that they think is cute & you will all encourage that. But, kids don't get to decide what everyone's name is, they are *taught* the right names for people & things. So, when you are talking to your child about his grandparents, you will call them oma & opa (if you decide to honor their feelings). Just like you'll call Aunt Julie (or whoever) Aunt Julie. And, if he makes a mistake, you will gently correct him just like you gently correct him when he accidentally mispronounces any other word (either by correcting him directly or by repeating the word/name in a follow up sentence).

It's up to you, obviously, what you decide to teach your child to call his grandparents. But, unless it's offensive or they are abusive & horrible (in which case, why are you visiting with them anyway), I believe that your husband's parents should be honored & respected.

Answer 8

If this is so important to your in-laws, I wouldn't try to discourage your son from using the names at all - believe me, it gets confusing anyway with two sets of "Grandmas' and "Grandpas" - better to have one set with different names. He may end up calling them something else, but that's between him and them. This seems like the wrong issue to battle your inlaws over - it's pretty common for grandparents to have names they would like to use, and you would probably just come off as controlling if you tried to veto their choice.

BTW, my grandmother wanted to be called Grammie, which was traditional in her family - that's the name my brother and I used, but my cousins ended up calling her "Gum", which was the baby-name one of my cousins used for her. To this day (24 years later) she still hates it - to her it never became cute, it just grated on her, but it just stuck. Why not allow a beloved member of the family go with a name that feels right to them?

Answer 9

Wow, your son....... will surely follow your example if you Call them Omama and Opappa, Or Oma and Opa for short, why the issue, stop to think that you will be fortunate to have them for a short while, and why not call them what they wish to be called.This should not be made an issue Happy New Year , Peace be with you .

Answer 10

Well, my daughter just started calling my mom grammy grammy one day so thats what stuck, with her other grandma it ended up coming out grandma bubbles. (they always blew bubbles together and i think she was trying to say a sentance but it didnt work) In both cases we were calling them grandma before she could talk so she just had to form the words and say it. Now her step grandma is greek, so we always called her YaYa, and our daughter just picked up on that so we were the ones who ended up teach her what to call them I guess, she jut modified a little.
I would say call them that around your son, however, if your son doesnt take to it he doesnt take to it, at least you gave it a shot.

By the way, we tried calling one grandpa, grandpa and the other one papa. They are now both Papa, my daughter never took to calling one grandpa