...also my boyfriend of 2 yrs didnt buy me a Christmas present. I know giving is better than receiving but I think because he didnt say anything is what bugs me most. I know he has no money but he could have said something. I gave him his gifts and I think he could have said, 'I didnt buy you anything cuz I dont have any money...' but he didnt say anything.
And I am feeling lonely. He is trying to work and catch up on bills and spend time with his kid & family but I am feeling left out. He didnt invite me to his familys Christmas but went with me to mine. I go to his familys house for other things. I just dont feel like he cares as much as I do.
I cant tell him how much my feelings are hurt cuz he gets mad and gives that, 'no matter what i do its not good enough' attitude.
Im too old for this. I luv him but I dont feel Im being loved back.
What do I do?
2007-12-30 13:28:40 · 12 answers · asked by lmg805 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can understand your sentiments, but also think you may be overreacting. You have been dating for two years, you bought him a Christmas gift though he did not buy you one and did not speak on it, and you are feeling lonely and believe he does not care about you.He is working hard to catch up on bills, spends time with his kids and family but not you,did not invite you to his house for Christmas though yougo there for other things .You guys have a major communication problem which could help you guys right about now.He is feeling defensive and you are feeling abandoned and invisible.After two years, I feel you guys have a romance worth saving.I am convinced that if you guys can start talking to each other, you will see the problems of the other person in a different light.My suggestion is that1)you sit him down and let him know how much you love him2)you then also let him know(in a calm non-accusatory manner) all the things he is doing, has done, and continues to do that bother you and hurt you.3)you give him the opportunity to state his own case as per 1and 2 above.4)find solutions to the issues that have been raised, for example,not buying you a gift for Christmascould have been resolved by buying a card , apologising, and giving a rain check.5)implement all the solutions that come out of your talk.6)begin a new , better, more caring, loving,sharing, communicative romance.He should stop with the guilt trip and you should initiate more togetherness for the two of you alone and as a group with the kids.But the key is communication, so I implore you both to start not only talking but listening as well.Good luck to you both.
2007-12-30 14:38:16 · answer #1 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has been good about your relationship with in the two years you have been together. I understand about having bills and no money, but for someone to love you it does not always mean you have to spending money. do you two spend time with the kids 2together. do you two talk about what going to happened in the future. do you want to marry him. You see, I would not be in a relationship and feel lonely. may be he is not ready for what you want or need in your life. you need to talk to him and if he gets mad, don't feed into. just tell the man what you want and follow your plans if you have them.we all hear our men say "no matter what I do its not good enough" always to me that something they say to make you feel bad. because you that not true. girl you want love fine someone who will give you what you want. after two years 2gether you both should have some kind of plans for your life together. make a list of what you want from your man, then make a list of what you are getting out of the relationship. I don't know how old you are, but life is really to short to be in a relationship that really not going anywhere.
2007-12-30 21:53:07 · answer #2 · answered by rhonda_lorraine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't even have to read past the first sentence... dump him... I don't care how complicated you think it is... everyone deserves a christmas gift unless you don't celebrate christmas... that dude is a loser... loser... loser... loser.... that's the type of guy that will drag you and your life down in flames... don't even tell him, just move out if you live with him, change your phone number and just don't talk to him ever agains... I just read he has a kid and family... seriously, just walk away.... he doesn't deserve the time of day... if he was hit by a bus, he'd do more for society. I don't even know you and I know for a fact you deserve better. Print this out and sign it and say it's from you.... this guy should be smacked by a baseball bat and left for rats... no money? everyone has enough money to buy flowers... loser... loser... loser...
Screw him...
2007-12-30 21:34:56 · answer #3 · answered by The Smart One 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your boyfriend as into you as you are into him? It doesn't sound like it.
Love is difficult, but sometimes you need a change. I don't think that lonliness is your issue really--it looks like your guy doesn't appreciate you at all. It's not the presents (or lack therof), it just seems like he's taking advantage of you, and you're convenient for him.
You said it yourself--you don't feel like you're being loved back. Leave him, and find someone who will love and respect you, and love you as you need to be loved.
2007-12-30 21:35:09 · answer #4 · answered by LV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after 2 yrs and you don't meet his family? hello big sign not serious about you and doesn't care you deserve better. your setting your standards low and you will always be second to the kids. what is important to you? if feel this way move on. a card at the cheapest 50 cents at the dollar store. he don't care. and as long as you except it it will never change
2007-12-30 21:39:24 · answer #5 · answered by vany a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be hiding something, tell him you want a 50-50 relationship, or else you want to call it quits. If you don't change your relationship now, you might have many years of unhappiness (speaking from personal experience).
2007-12-30 21:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by hippiechick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel lonely in the relationship then dump him! Or you could just sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel
2007-12-30 21:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by casper2008 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a guy that loves and cherishes you because it sounds like this guy is taking you for granted
2007-12-30 21:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by KT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you understand about the gift but you need someone you can talk to and love to
2007-12-30 21:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by Hollistterhottie473 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i bet you are not that great in bed if you are not even worthy of a lousy present
2007-12-30 21:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by snoopy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋