I am in my early fifties and met this guy online that seemed great. We have emailed each other several times....however in the latest emails he makes sexual innundos that I am uncomfortable with.....and to top it off he sent me a pic of himself shirtless.....not my style at all.....what should I do? He is from Europe and is coming to town in a few weeks. I am no longer interested in meeting him....and stupid me already made plans with him......help!!!!
2007-12-30 11:15:16 · 10 answers · asked by Diana P 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK, this is a common occurrence in online dating when there is a large time gap between initial contact and first face-to-face meeting. He's probably just seeing how far things will go and testing your openness.
You should write him back and tell him you don't know him well enough for him to approach you that way and that you don't appreciate it. He may then choose to cancel your plans, and that's fine. If he apologizes and changes his ways, give him another shot.
2007-12-30 11:24:02 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am online dating as well. If I were in your situation and something this significant happened to make me feel so uncomfortable, I would definitely email him to say that you feel things are happening too fast and you are not comfortable meeting him yet. You can even apologize. That's what's so nice about doing this online. For me, it's much easier to type this concern than to have the conversation face to face. I would definitely do this now so he can change his plans. You can continue the relationship online and see if things improve or you can end it now. The most important thing is that you stay safe and not get yourself into a situation where you are uncomfortable or pressured to do something against your morals.
2007-12-30 19:26:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and let him know that he made you uncomfortable with his last e-mails and you have reconsidered meeting him. Then block him from contacting you by e-mail again. If he has your phone# and calls you, just don't return his call.
There is no sense involving yourself with someone who is "not your style". Anyway, he lives in Europe! What kind of relationship would you be able to have? It's best to find someone in your area who you can meet for a short coffee date the first time. It doesn't matter how old you are, a stranger you meet online needs to be approached with a degree of caution.
2007-12-30 19:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by Seeker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has happened is a typical result of online relationships - they may seem ideal - however it can be a misleading haven of lusty men and in some cases quite dangerous. The answer is simple. Don't go and see him. You don't owe him anything and aren't inclined to do anything for him - he should realise that the manner he talked to you was inappropriate and he can't expect positive results when he is acting on a half hearted computer based relationship. You do realise meeting him would be putting yourself in a very vulnerable position?? Please be take care and im sure you will manage to find a guy without the use of the internet.
2007-12-30 19:24:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would email him and tell him you are sorry, but are no longer interested in pursuing this relationship. Tell him that the sexual induendos and shirtless pics are making you uncomfortable at this time in the relationship. If you want to hear back from him, tell him you are still open to conversations thru email, otherwise cut it off..
2007-12-30 19:23:33 · answer #5 · answered by countrymomv4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also am in my fifties and would have no problem being told to rack off if i had made inappropriate comments --- the question is why are you so upset??? --- a few off remarks and a pic that is questionable but not graphic??? ---- we are old enough to i would have thought be past all these hangups
also what sort of relationship do you thing he wants??? --- i know i want a relationship that includes sex with my lady and while im prepared to wait i would be surprised by such a prudish attitude ---- be strong tell him dont lie and dont hide ---- you are both (i hope) old enough and mature enough to handle it
2007-12-30 19:24:19 · answer #6 · answered by Waterdragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that his behavior has made you very uncomfortable and that you do not wish for him to come to see you at this time. You can gauge from there how to react. If he apologizes and tones it down then continue on. If he only tones it down for 1 conversation then tell him that you are not that kind of girl and that you are no longer interested at all. Then all you have to do is to ignore him when he sends messages.
2007-12-30 19:21:17 · answer #7 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats wrong with just telling him, sorry not interested. if you told him to come and he bought the tickets on the thought he was coming to see you, then make it very clear that you have no interest in any of his offers and maybe offer to put him up in a hotel to ease the awkwardness.
2007-12-30 19:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by jammer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go on a vacation when he comes and dont reply to anymore emails -- sounds kinda grooss
2007-12-30 19:17:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do saying early fifties make you feel younger?
just asking dont take it offensive...
2007-12-30 19:18:42 · answer #10 · answered by o.fellow 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋