What would be the proper wording to use in announcing my wedding without inviting anyone?

Question

My family is spread out; and due to divorce at a young age, my mother & father's family do not communicate at ALL! My fiance only has his father. We have been living together for 10 years now and we just want to have a very small wedding then leave for our honeymoon the next day. We are paying for all wedding & honeymoon costs because we don't have a lot of money and we know our families are not financially fit to help. My mother has not told anyone about my plans to marry but my father has shared with his family, I have a half sister that I am just getting to know (my father's daughter) and she is wanting to come to the wedding. *let it be noted neither of my parents are coming-their choice not mine. I called and told her of our small plans but she is welcome to come (how can I say no?) and she informed me that others MAY want to come as well to show their support;now since my mothers side of the family has not been informed, how do I send out announcements without inviting everyone?

Thanks for all the advice. Maybe a few more details of my situation and you all can help me solve my dilemna. Some people already know we are planning to marry so sending "announcements" afterwards will not work, as they are wanting to attend. And they are not locals, so it will cost them money to come and I have nothing to offer as far as a reception, dinner etc afterwards-unless they pay for their own dinner at a restaurant. Originally I was going to do a destination wedding but time is short and so is money. Wedding is this March, my original plan was to send announcement AFTER wedding but now people are showing an interest in attending. So, do I send announcement stating we are now engageed and plan to marry on (date) during a private ceremony. Then maybe add something on the bottom to the affect of "all your good wishes will be in our hearts that day" or something and just see what the response is??? But what if they call and ask to come???

Answer 1

You can send an announcement of the wedding. People can choose to come or not. When you do not include information about a reception it will be clear there is no reception afterwards and some people will suddenly lose interest.

You really can't (sorry typo previously) prevent people from joining you in a church ceremony. You may not think of it as such, but it is a public occasion - anyone can walk in and see you get married.

Gracie and George Allen are very pleased to announce
they are taking their vows of marriage
on March 14, 2008, 7 PM
at Main St. Church,
Smalltown, AZ

No rsvp, no reception card, and it is obvious this is an announcement of a ceremony only.

Answer 2

The answer to your dilemna is to go off and get married without telling anyone or stating that this is your wishes. Make it part of your honeymoon. Resorts have people that will stand up for you and everything can be arranged through your resort. Then send an announcement afterwards with an invite to a small reception. Tell everyone you decided on this because of your limited budget and the fact that a small wedding ceremony was all you could do. Whatever you do don't let others, family or not dictate how you will handle your wedding arrangements. You will be happier in the end.

Answer 3

Well, I guess you should be straight forward with her..... she's not that close to you anyway and you shouldn't change YOUR plans because of what SHE wants. First off, she invited herself. And you gave in..... ok, it's ok to make an exception but why would she feel she's entitled to inform other people AND talk in their favor to you so they can be included in the plans too!?!??? You already decided what you want.... you chose the people YOU wanted to be there (your parents) and if they chose not to attent, that's their choice. Why would you feel "obligued" to invite other people that you don't really care that much about??? Only cuz your half sister asked for it??

If you don't want to say "no" to her, then explain that you want to keep this VERY intimate and you may make an exception by having HER attend the wedding but you'd appreciate that she doesn't mention this in front of other family members because you were not planning to invite anyone and HER being there is just an exception you made. You can't make 3, 4, 5 exceptions. She should be able to understand AND RESPECT this -- it's not her wedding. She can invite whomever she wants when SHE gets married. She should understand what you want and not feel free to include others in YOUR plans.

I agree with others and I think the best thing to do is announce your wedding AFTER it's done. It's not a big deal cuz you've been a couple for a long time already, so I don't think people should be offended that you didn't organize this BIG party just to please THEM -- because it's not what you want. Make the announcement after it's done and understand that you don't owe an explanation to anyone other than the people you already informed personally & directly.


EDIT:
I think you're just making this TOO complicated........ yes they know, AND SO WHAT??? They're expressing interest in attending... and SO WHAT? This is not about what THEY want!!! Don't be so weak, stand your ground and tell them UPFRONT that you are NOT organizing a wedding, that you will only be going to the courthouse to sign the paper and THAT'S IT. You will be departing to your honeymoon right away so you're very sorry but you will have NO TIME whatsoever to pay proper attention to any guests, should there be any. There is no reception so there's no point in making travel arrangements for a 15 min. ceremony that won't be followed by any sort of reception because you can't afford it. So, as much as you appreciate their interest, you're sorry to inform that there will be no real wedding - as people think of it - and you'll be glad to see them all and spend time with them later in the year (easter, summer, thxgiv, xmas). PERIOD. You don't have to please everyone, you know!? Just send the announcement if you think it's absolutely necessary saying it'll be a private ceremony and NOT giving any details (address, day, time) so they can't attend.

Answer 4

i would go ahead and send out the annoucements and put on the bottom something like invitation only or rsvp or something. depending on who your inviting, make it look like you only want immediate family to attend and explain that to everyone. tell them your on a very limited budget cause you have to pay for your own wedding and you can only invite a very limited amount of people. or you could invite a small group to the wedding and have an open invite to the reception?? have the reception somewhere large or outdoors where anyone could attend. i had a friend i know do that and when i was told to only show for the reception, i wasnt offended the least bit. thats a tough situation.. wow.. i wish you luck.

Answer 5

Weddings are a commemoration of LOVE 2 people feel for each other. Depending on the type of wedding you have in mind, you could throw a wedding party for closer friends and family and afterwards a small gathering for everyone else that would like to show their support. If you like using your imagination, you can pick a theme for the small gathering to make it more interesting (eg. picnic)

I am sure your relatives and friends will understand and just be happy to be with the newly weds nomatter in which of the 2 events you invite them to.

Answer 6

Can you throw a little party/reception afterward when things have settled down for those who want to attend?

Maybe something along the lines of...

Jane Doe
and
John Deere
have the honor of announcing
their marriage
on date & place

That way it's not specifically an invitation, but simple and to the point.

Congrats, by the way, and good luck!

Answer 7

well, you could announce your marriage and say it's at a court house due to lack of funding or something. Marriage in front of a judge usually means only a TINY amount of people can go, normally like one or two. So the announcement would just be saying "congrats to us we are getting married" MOre like a statement rather then an invitation.

"Dear ******",

it si my honor to announce we are getting married on ( date ) at the ( court place thing ). Attendance is not neccessary as only one witness needs to present. Pictures will be available upon request.

Signed....****"

there, see how easy that was :)

Answer 8

since you have been living together for 10 years, most people probably think you are married anyway. i think you should just elope and wait until after you are married to announce it. honestly there's no polite way to say "we are getting married and you're not invited to the wedding". if you invite anyone, there will be hurt feelings. i know that from experience (i'm one of those "very close family members" who's being left out because of expenses, etc)

Answer 9

Do the invitations on a personal basis and announce the wedding afterwards. For instance by sending postcards from your honeymoon.

Answer 10

I do not think you can send out announcements ahead of time without inviting people, so just have a small ceremony and send out you announcement afterwards.