im 18 and married and feel like its time to start a family but my husband isnt quite ready. we dont sponge off the government and he works full time anad i am in college full time training to be a decorator and starting to get work in.
am i bad for wanting to be a mum?
2007-12-30 08:49:21 · 26 answers · asked by mummy to 3 miracles 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No you're not bad for wanting to start your family in fact you sound pretty mature, and I think you're very wise to consider your husband's feelings here. He hasn't said no but he doesn't feel ready yet, and I think that's probably fair enough as you are pretty young. Putting pressure on him now to change his mind could make things difficult for both of and marriage is hard enough in todays world, so if you can give him a little time now, you'll probably both end up very much happier for it.
The others here are too right about the changes children make to your life and they don't go away, the problems may change in nature but they keep on coming. It's not just sleepless nights, but it's coping when they're poorly, it's not always rewarding, sometimes its just bloody hard. My boys are 19 and 21 now and I wouldn't be without them, I was in my early 20's when I started and I love them to bits, but there were times when I didn't like them much and it does place different stresses and strains on you as a couple too.
I agree with one or two of the others, take a little longer to be just the two of you, enjoy your marriage as a couple, take romantic breaks, if you can't afford a long holiday take little mini breaks, camping, stay out late knowing you've got the weekend off and can have a lie in, believe you will cherish a lie in as a precious jewel once your first baby arrives!
You sound like a nice couple, have a wonderful life and a when you're both ready, I wish you all the luck with your family, I think you'll make a great mum!
2007-12-30 09:07:48 · answer #1 · answered by kuta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not bad for wanting to be a mum, we as females have an instinct to have babies.
I am 17 and expecting my first, I get alot of stick about it from people who dont know me, But i am in a stable relationship with the babies father. I am also in college full time aswell, Colleges help expectants girls and mothers around their courses.
There is care to learn which pays for childcare whilst you continue education, the only thing they ask is that you go to college and are under 20.
YOU ARE NOT BAD.
good luck hun
2007-12-30 09:21:46 · answer #2 · answered by Laila's Mummy! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the only reason you're feeling a bit guilty about this is that you haven't discussed it quite enough with your husband yet, so you're asking us complete strangers on Yahoo for our opinions.
If you really want to start your family now you have to talk about it with your husband, there are lots of arguments for having your family young so you might be able to persuade him, if you can't and he wants to wait for a little while I would urge you not to do anything behind his back. If he is going to be the father of your children you have to work out some sort of compromise in the short term. You both seem to have quite a lot going for you in terms of work and careers and commitment to each other, so Good Luck!
2007-12-30 09:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down you have plenty of time to have a baby,what's the rush?If you got pregnant now then you wouldn't be able to finish your training at college to be a decorator,wait a few years when you have a nice home and a fair bit of money saved up,for now enjoy life with your husband,go on holiday,out for meals etc,when you have a baby your whole life will completley change,it isn't a walk in the park believe me.
2007-12-30 09:01:28 · answer #4 · answered by Diane R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you're not bad for wanting to be a mum but just consider deeply that there is no going back to the life you know now once you are a mum and in the same light you may have more experiences to share with your offspring if you put it off another ten years and live a little for yourself first.
Also biologically birth is meant to be best at around 30-32 years for both you and baby given the choice.
2007-12-30 08:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ur not bad Ur just in that period when a girl starts feeling 'i want to be a mummy' i think that its too early Hun, have a good job first, save money get a car and get a mortgage, then think about a baby so that he/she can come to the world and live a comfortable life at least as a child!!
2007-12-30 08:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by ஐ♥P u S s y CaT♥ஐ♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, of course you are not bad. you sound as if you are in a loving stable relatonship with an income. however, personally if i were you i would wait and finish of my training at college and as you are starting to get work in then make some money first. i was 19 when we had our first child and no way do i regret it at all but you have so much going for you at 18 yrs old so if i were you i would hold off til your training in over and done with, then, when the baby is older, you have something to go back to......fully trained ! happy new year to you and your hubby. xx
2007-12-30 08:56:05 · answer #7 · answered by mrsc 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, you're not bad for wanting to be a Mum, but why now? You are young and free to do what you want together. Have some life for yourselves before you have children. Your life will change beyond recognition once you have them and it's 24 /7 commitment for ever- (yes, they still want to be mothered, even when they're 30!!!!) I wouldn't even contemplate children until you're at least 20-25. Enjoy what you have.
2007-12-30 09:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by Nip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, please wait! You guys need to have fun being just you two and going out together without a baby that requires 24/7 attention. You will not get a break for at least 18 years if you have a kid now. You'll be wiser in several years too. Have fun, you have so much time to have a child. Get used to being married first.
2007-12-30 09:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by cil 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've only just started your career get some more life experience behind you first, you've got plenty of time to start a family and as you say your husband isn't ready so just wait.
2007-12-30 08:53:47 · answer #10 · answered by louise d 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋