A couple weeks ago a women cut my face with a knife after we got in a heated argument. You never think someone is going to pull out a weapon when you're in an argument. *sigh* But anyway... the doctor told me that I will likely have deep scaring where I was cut. It starts from the bridge of my nose and goes down across my left cheek. Obviously, I don't exactly feel "pretty" any more - not even on my good days.
But be honest with me, is a girl with a scar like that even date material?
2007-12-30 05:53:51 · 15 answers · asked by 9th Life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can't see it in my avatar, but I have a birthmark on my face, I have been married for 14 years now, and never had trouble getting dates before that. Most of the people I know have known me for several years before they even notice it's there. (and it's really hilarious when they finally do notice it) I also have extensive acne scars, and a larger scar where I had surgery for skin cancer (there is likely to be more of that in my future). Think about seeing if you can get some reconstructive surgery, if it will help you feel better about yourself, but the scarring will fade some with time. Personality counts for a lot, develop a personality to wow em with, keep em so busy thinking about how cool you are, they won't even notice what you look like for years....Indi was right in her comments about overcoming the idea that you're defective, and focusing on all the good things you have to offer. Besides, you deserve someone who values you for who you are, and not just what you look like, looks fade over the years, but your personality can only grow and become more vibrant with time.... (I'm sorry that happened to you so suddenly, though, I had all my life to get used to this stuff, and I'm sure it had to have been quite a shock to you. What that woman did was violent and uncalled for, and I hope she was arrested for it. When I had the cancer surgery, there was quite a bit of swelling for the first couple of weeks, and you kind of wonder if you're going to look anything close to "normal" again. It's still there, but it has faded very much in the last year, so give it some time....)
2007-12-30 09:17:32 · answer #1 · answered by beatlefan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes a scar is something you can fix, or it can heal itself over time. A flawed character is something you CAN'T fix without wanting to. If people judge you using wrong means, then you're looking at the wrong people as well. It's time you divert your attention toward the more intelligent ones who look beyond the surface. Of course, if the scar bothers YOU a lot,then try investing in seeing a dermatologist. I have some acne scars but it never stopped me from anything or from enjoying my life. The lady who gave you that scar is probably living her life happily while you stress over what she did to you. Don't let anybody bring your life to a stop over something like this.
By the way, if the scar is deep and has caused an indentation in your skin, try looking for a dermatologist who offers "fascian" treatments. It's very affordable and lasts much longer than collagen, which is also a filler. It's pretty much a filler that fills in a deep scar in the skin and levels out the skin. If the scar is pigmented as well, which I'm sure it is since that lady cut you, you can for now use a scar covering make up and use creams that fade scars. Wish you good luck...
2007-12-30 06:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by Princess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A girl with a scar like that most certainly is worthy of dating. The key might be in changing your view of yourself. Even referring to yourself as "date material" can become a problem. Dating is not materialistic consumerism, at least not with the right person. If you focus only on your wounds, physical or otherwise, so will other people. But if instead you focus on all that makes you truly your best self--your education, creativity, spirituality, friendships, family, love, and other physical attributes-- that will make all the difference in the world in time. And someday, maybe even someday soon, you will meet someone who will be able to see you for who you really are. You are love. Be love, and you will be loved. I have been there.
I have a disability that I won't go into here that puts some people off and even triggers bullying and staring occasionally. When I finally let go of the idea that I was defective and that, as someone once told me, "no man would ever want me" (please), I became a love magnet. I also went through a nec. phase where I put all my feelings about my condition, the bullying, the staring, the social ostracism, and, miraculously, all the love into my poetry and music. Then I found out that most people hadn't even noticed my disability, and that the ones who did were usu. the type of people always looking to find fault in other people anyway.
The mind is powerful. We must use it well, be careful of our thoughts, be careful to choose well what we believe, and be careful to choose well the company we keep. In life and in Y/A there will always be trolling. Don't listen. Trolling is the voice of hatred or internet bullying. Listen within. Listen to the voice of love, whispering, "You are beautiful. You are love."
Take excellent care of yourself--your whole self--and remember that you get to choose the company you will keep. Be yourself, do what you love, hang out with and open up to the right people, shine, and in time you will see that more and more of the right people will be naturally attracted to you.
Hope this helps.
Be well.
2007-12-30 06:31:10 · answer #3 · answered by Indi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've seen girls with scars and I think the scar is actually charming. I have a scar on my eye and nobody notices is until I point it out.
You can get plastic surgery to remove the scar. My brother had that done after he had surgery. It was covered by health insurance, too. I'm not sure if that's an option for you, but worth looking into.
And even if you leave it, it's not what people are going to notice. they are going to notice those beautiful eyes and dazzling smile.
2007-12-30 06:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me after a while the scar will fade some and you can wear makeup. My friend has a long scar on her cheek and she's had it since she was a baby and guys don even care. So trust me if you put on some confidence they will be fine with it. The scar is like apart of her now she would look weird without it. yes you will find a guy who will love every inch of you so don even worry about it.
2007-12-30 05:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Sexylova49 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl so I can't really answer the dating question, but you could use some creams to at least fade a little of it. good luck! and don't worry, some boys actually care more about personality then looks.
2007-12-30 06:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by celinuchis90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have learned a very important lesson of not being able to predict others. Wear your scar, and love yourself. Don't let that lady take the joy of life away from you.
2007-12-30 05:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Solar Ball 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, when i see people with scars on their face. I think it's good that they're not covering it up or anything. I think that people with scars have confidence not to cover it up and that they're really tough. ever scar has a story. so tell it.
2007-12-30 10:18:00 · answer #8 · answered by →Loony Lovegood™ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so hard on yourself. A man should look at you and who you are. Scar or no scar....always remember, you are pretty! Anyone that just looks at your 'scar' is not worth anything!
2007-12-30 05:59:47 · answer #9 · answered by L.L.Bean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah she is date material. I got scars on my body from knives and flying metal. My wife still likes me.
2007-12-30 06:00:38 · answer #10 · answered by A55H0L3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋